This is sad to hear about. I have come across a case before, it happened to a dear friend of mine many years back. She completely failed to understand why, though, and in any case he died a few years later.
It very likely relates to 2 factors:
1.Familiarity (the girls in the **** would be probably younger, but in any case "different". He has perhaps been making love to you for many years, and possibly in the same manner which leads me on to
2. Variety. I don't mean multiple partners, but sex in a different way. Do you try or suggest something unusual every now and then? Does he have a fantasy that you will not do? Do you talk about your sex life with each other, still?
PM me if you would like to chat more about this
I'm afraid that is common enough, even with younger men. It's hard to compete with fantasy.
How about I'm a 46 year-old man married to a woman my age for a long time. She's gained a lot of weight and I tried to respectfully tell her that I wasn't crazy about it. And hey—I keep myself in shape. What's a guy supposed to do if he is not turned on anymore, especially when the woman in the relationship has no interest in keeping up her looks in any way?
I'd rather avoid the whole subject under these circumstances.
And BTW, I'm not turned on by twenty-somethings and I'm not overly interested in ****. (I can take it or leave it.)
I don't think it is normal. However, we all know that men are aroused by sigh more than women so watching **** can have that needed effect on a guy. maybe you can watch together and maybe you surprise him with some variety. men enjoy variety, I don;t mean with different partners but just find a way to spice up the sex life. I'm sixty and horny every day, of course I don't go around with an erection but I am always thinking about sex. There are many wasy to be sexual and to have sex, you just have to find what works for both of you and go for it. Too bad we are not neighbors, I would be happy to assist, maybe when he saw another guy was interested in you he may change his mind.
he need to see a doctor and have a blood test for low Tee
YEP ! So don't feel bad. After you have had the same ole piece for the last 20 + years it gets to be a drag. You really have to do something interesting to spice it up.
No, I do not think it is normal.
It may be that he has a **** addiction. Or maybe he has erectile dysfunction. Do you know if he masturbates successfully while he watches his ****? It could be that he is having performance problems and he is afraid of failing (not being erect enough to please you or losing his erection during sex or something of that nature) and so he avoids you and plays with his penis while watching ****.
I don't know what your sex life was like before he began behaving this way. Did you have a satisfying and enjoyable sex life until this happened? I read through the other responses and your replies. You certainly sound to me as a woman with a very open mind about sex, you mentioned your willingness to try new and different things. (Damn, he should be delighted to have an open-minded wife with frisky thoughts... he sounds to me as if he could use some counseling.)
Other that the things you have probably already thought of such as couples counseling... has he had a thorough physical recently? I'm thinking blood pressure, things like that. And I am still thinking about erectile dysfunction.
You said you would like to try "new" things and you were open to dirty stuff, so try some on him, seduce him, start working on yourself nude with a vibrator, etc whatever, give him a ******* -- do something sexually outrageous and enticing. Hell, I don't know, but I sure wish you good luck with this. There is no reason for sex to shut down like that. You guys are older than me, but you are still young. My parents are 77 and 80 and Mom tells me they still have an active sex life -- she has hinted that they play around with toys and oral sex as often as traditional intercourse and I think that is wonderful -- so if my Dad is still in the game at 80, your husband should not be retiring from sex at 63 -- He really needs a medical checkup and and a psychological evaluation.
Lube, lube, lube. Use a sex lubricant. Companies that sell toys online sell lubricants, Amazon sells lubricants, pharmacies sell lubricants. (Wikipedia will give you more information under "personal lubricants".) Or ask your ob/gyn I'm pre-menopausal myself and don't have than many signs of it but once in a while I do feel a little dry and I like to put a little Astroglide on a vibrator or massage my husband's erection with it (he doesn't seem to mind that at all LOL). I actually thought I had suggested lubes but looking at my response to your original question, I see I hadn't. Duh.
hi, maybe youve lost your confidence with women to have with real sex so **** is a quick fix, sort of lazy sex maybe, i hope you find real sex again in a nice relationship
Yes its normal, I do the same thing, I'd rather watch ****, its less hassle
Normal? I would say no, but it certainly isn't good....Does he have ED?
A horrible symptom of **** addition....all fantasy, no real intimacy. Have you tried counseling?
with all due respect, please take care of yourself, see a counselor, it will do you good even if you have to expose your heartache to someone. God bless.
Probably. **** doesn't make any demands of you.
It is tough. Men are so visual and we women just don't keep looking like 20 yr olds.
A lot of men are self serving creeps. (Yes...I'm a bit bitter about this kind of thing too. That's one reason why I wouldn't even consider dating someone who uses ****.)
My husband uses it, but he learned the hard way not to leave the evidence out.