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My dad has been like that ever since I was little, I have never been good at some subjects in school because of my brain defect, so when ever I couldnt learn things fast enough or I got a bad grade, he would always beat me while saying I should know everything because I'm the first son. As I got older I hated him more, when I was in the 9th grade, he threw a small foldable table at me but missed, because I told him "I dont care who has higher grades then me aslong I'm passing the class." Last semester of my first year in college I got all B's and when he asked what my grades were (my siblings and I don't tell him our grades a lot). He told me that the grades are not good enough and then started talking about himself saying how he got all A+'s, like he always does because he has too much pride in himself. So when ever I watch tv and watch a parent yell at their kids about being the best in the class and getting all A's, I just picture myself beating that parent up. So is it n
Elijahx Elijahx 18-21, M 5 Answers Sep 21, 2012 in Family Struggles

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No, that's not normal and I'm sorry it's happening to you. Right or wrong, sometimes I think parents treat their own kids as they were treated by their parents. You have to learn to distance yourself mentally from that type of negative criticism, realize you are doing you best and that you are alright with that. By the way - congrats on all B's in your first year of college. :) There is nothing to be ashamed at in those grades! I feel like I can say that to you because in all honesty, there was never a day that I ever made my dad proud. It is simply the way it was. In his eyes, I would never amount to anything and yes....those word did fly out of his mouth at me quite often. He's gone now and over the years, I've learned that for some reason he had issues and I think it stemmed from the way he was raised. He was just a flawed human dealing with issues of his own and usually not is a very productive way. I didn't see that when I was younger therefore I lived with a lot of resentment for a lot of years. I hope you can learn that lesson earlier than I did. It is a great relief when you can not just intellectually understand that, but also emotionally. Good luck to you.

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Having high standards for your children is one thing, but if they can't reach them due to no fault of their own and you belittle them for it is completely unacceptable.<br />
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I have high standards for my children, but that's because I know what their potential is and it's greater than mine, so I want them to do the best they can. Just as coaches push their athletes to succeed, I encourage and push my children to be the best they can be. If they don't succeed they don't succeed, I still love them and I encourage them to get up and keep trying. Strength comes from falling down, getting back up and learning from your mistakes, not from constant success.

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I understand how you feel and why....but no its not normal. I have high standards for my kids but I have never behaved as your dad does. To me its not the actual grade that matters...its whether you performed to the very best of your ability. I pushed them to embrace that way of thinking so that it would become habit.

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In view of what you said about your situation I think you'd be entirely justified.

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no, your dad is abusing you. it is illegal to abuse children, and it is even more illegal to abuse disabled children. please tell someone at school what is happening.<br />
also, your dad is probably lying about his grades.

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