I am right there with you about feeling yucked out by a significant other scoping out naked chicks in movies.<br />
I've been with my husband for four years, and he doesn't watch movies with naked or scantily clad women in them....and he watches A LOT of movies!! He knows if he chooses the viewing of naked women over my feelings on the matter, I'll be outta here. Infidelity starts in the heart and a dude's heart is pretty close to his d!ck sometimes. I'm atheistic, but I have to agree with the Christians, that a person has betrayed their spouse just by lusting after another person. Our male-centric society would have you believe otherwise, that men are entitled to watch whatever they want and access women in whatever degrading manner they want. <br />
I have a great body, nothing to be insecure about, and I think the female body (as depicted by the media) is beautiful beyond belief. However, I will not accept or tolerate sharing the sexual spotlight. That means p0rn0 magazines, ***** joints, and movies containing nude/scantily clad women. The former two have never been an issue....only the latter. When the issue initially arose the conflict was clear, and he struggled with feeling controlled (which is funny, because he calls the shots on everything in our marriage except what I'm cooking for dinner and how the house is decorated.). I understand why he felt controlled. At the same time I could tell that he could see where I was coming from. Now it is a non issue in our marriage. Nothing more than a quirk and just one more way he and I are both trying to dodge an effed up culture. Had he not been selfless on this issue, it would have meant he isn't the man for me. <br />
From my perspective, movies with graphic sexual content are just a way to make the degradation and ob<x>jectification of women acceptable and palatable to the masses, including religious folk. It's putting women in the place men want them - as sex ob<x>jects to be had whenever men want. <br />
And yes, I do have a history of sexual abuse. Undoubtedly it does impact both my feelings and my standards and sensitivities in marriage. My veil of poppycock delusion has been lifted.
Omg well written I'm your fan I haven't been abused in any way but I agree %100. Thank you I no longer feel like there is something wrong with me like he is trying to suggest. Thank you.
this is wonderful to hear.
What the heck does religion have to do with it? Lust is considered a sin. None of my religious friends even watch R-rated movies, but most of my atheist friends admit to watching ****.
Thank you for this post. You've totally nailed it.
In europe nudity is so accepted as being normal and natural it's even in their commercials, they don't bat an eyelash about it, and all the beaches are clothing optional. they understand that nudity doesn't need to equate sex, and that nudity is natural and normal. but this is how sick and twisted north america has become. You're freaking out about him watching anything with nudity in it, but haven't said a word about some of the horrific violence portrayed in movies. People now a days are more concerned with shielding people from something natural and beautiful like the human body and sex but are fine with a portrayal of someone being disemboweled. the fact that this is even a issue to you saddens me, that there are people like you out there who are so afraid of nudity and sexuality. I wonder if you were brought up in a religious household where sex and nudity was considered sinful and dirty? I've never understood this concept, after all god created us, sex, and our desire to make love to our partners. How is nudity wrong? it's natural!<br />
I agree with others here who have stated that you have control issues and most likely issues with your own sexuality and nudity. That is no reason to punish and censor him. Perhaps you need to go see a professional and get some help for some of your issues. It isn't normal to despise nudity, I can understand if it's po.rn and he watches it all the time, but mainstream movies that have nudity in them? it isn't right to try to keep him from watching them. To make him hate nudity like you do is wrong and hopefully impossible. If you want a man like that, go find one, but don't try to censor, control and change this man, especially since there's nothing wrong with him or what he's doing. it's you who is in the wrong here, not him. I'd suggest some counseling for some of your issues on nudity and sexuality. I hope you can work this out. because if you can't, you're going to have a hard time finding a man who will stay with you.
Maybe if the playing field was equal it wouldn't bother her so much. .. a fully naked guy for energy naked chick . But also maybe its HOW you Americans portray the naked women. .. its usually gratuitous shots of naked women that add nothing to the plot OR the mandatory ***** club scene
I disagree ALL my partners have been respectful of me with this issue, I have not been abused and I'm not religious at all. I do how ever have morals and I know what I like and what I don't and I don't like it either I don't know why but it makes something happen inside with my emotions and its not jealousy its different. I think it would be a sad day if we were to get like Europe if its main stream and in our faces 24/7 we may be a minority that don't like it but its a real emotion that triggers it. And I don't believe it has anything to do with control. I have a question for you is the nudity equal ie, men showing it all as much as women? No it didn't think so........
I totally agree with you! our society is so damn one sided it's not even funny. if any man could sit comfortably without squirming while watching a naked man on their tv over and over day after day nite after nite then they are a liar. men just want to have their cake and eat it too. men who don't respect the women they are with are PIGS....js
censoring ordinary movies for another adult is unhealthy.<br />
i'm thinking you have security issues, if so..get it sorted...it's destructive.
I'm wondering if they're ordinary movies though... surely they wouldn't be an issue. Maybe she's talking about "naughty" movies?
Ordinary movies I think and I agree with her I'm so sick of movies and the like portraying women as sex objects we are so much more than that. will we ever be equal? not while we keep behaving like sex objects for mans pleasures. and as for sex sells I deliberately refuse to buy products when they use women's bodies sexually to sell and I think a lot of women do so hahaha to these advertising d/heads who know nothing as mostly women do the buying so they should use sexy men they it might sell.
I think ur pretty awesome chicka cause they just don't have a clue. too many cheap nasty women out there willing to give it all away for nothing so it's too much trouble to deal with the women who demand respect...
Oh so perfect...So I must have them to then, ppl are who they are and if you didn't like something I bet you would be the first to complain, it IS OFFENSIVE TO SOME PPL..... END OF STORY....
If it has nudity its not ordinary as I don't ordinary see it in real life unless i seek it out, movies don't need to be graphic we get the gist if they kiss etc in the bedroom or where ever its a mans world and women are still just nothing but sex objects and if you can't see how this stuff is not good for women in general then maybe you should study women's past history of rapes abuse AND IT'S STILL HAPPENING LITTLE GIRLS BEING SOLD FOR SEX SLAVES FOR MEN. YOU PEOPLE NEED TO GET REAL AND GROW UP. WOMEN ARE NOT JUST BODIES FOR MEN OR WOMEN TO GET YOUR ROCKS OF ON WE ARE HUMANS THAT NEED TO BE RESPECTED..........GOOGLE A BIT OF HISTORY LOVE YOU NEED IT.
So I feel uncomfortable as well with this, and for all you people who think this is bonkers, maybe you should think before you open your dumb mouths. Which are mostly male mouths I'm sure. Guys are stubborn so when you say not to do something they want to do it more. Let me explain something to the dumb crowd here: you don't know what it's like to get mad on the inside and not know why. And seeking a counselor costs over a hundred dollars a session. It doesn't just get covered by insurance. And you know maybe some of these girls got violated in there life and that's why they feel this way. I know I did and now I'm scarred in watching movies. Get real, not everyone wants to see this stuff like guys do for various reasons. I think if you love someone, you try to overcome the issue together and not just run away from the problem because you men have no strength. A real man won't leave an amazing women because of movies, an if he does then he wasn't worth it anyways. Most movies add nudity to draw in there target market, so that why it's usually in movies. Nudity doesn't add anything to a movie. You can see people clearly had sex without all the extra bullshit. Oh and I wasn't brought up religious by the way. Oh and just to cover the person who said that they couldn't believe how violence was not important to this girl over nudity? Ha, well obviously a couple wouldnt disagree on the disembowlment of a human so obviously they would not need to fight about something like that. Thanks to Jim in the comments who actually seems like a respectable man. The only women on here who are like OMG you're being ridiculous are the ones who probably aren't comfortable with there body and feel bad that their significant other has to see them so they let them see other woman because thy know they're not good enough. I am in shape, fun and good looking so I think I'll stand up for myself according to my standards and not let culture bring me to a lower standard just because everyone else has.
I agree go girl
It is NOT healthy or moral to view these nude clips. We live in a society that is getting sicker and sicker and less Godly. Just read the other comments, that's show ya. And it is only going to get worse. Him watching these clips is a disrespect to you. The closer one gets to God, the holier they become (according to sc<x>ripture and my experience) and this viewing of nude clips is not holy. It's a direct violation against you and against God. I don't know what your history is or his but maybe you need to look at all of him and his behaviors and reevaluate your relationship. (Don't know.)
You're right, if God meant for us to be naked we would have been born that way. :)
if god wanted us to stay naked we would be hairy to keep warm, luckily he gave us a brain to make clothes for ourselves lol
LOL...I wouldn't go so far to say we are becoming "sicker and less Godly". I say we have always been sick and impious and if you think the United States is bad you should really take a good look at the rest of this world. I've been to some parts on business trips with my family. On my trip to Asia I saw some of the worse conditions your brain can even comprehend. In Peru, Chili, Bolivia (South America) I witnessed girls who weren't old enough to even have a period working as prostitutes to make a living. You think they have any other option? Well, it's been like that for hundreds of years and now it's starting to improve. Need I show you pictures of all the wars in our pasts. Hundreds, thousands, millions of men killed - The women raped THEN killed. The holocaust, the French Revolution, the American Revolution - Need I mention more? I think you're pretty lucky to be a woman in the USA in this age; if you ask me. I do think that **** is our biggest problem. Read my comment below this..
i can think of 10 things right now much worse than watching any movie
Ha! Love that, Ben.
I agree. "Sicker and less Godly". We need to return to some decency and moral values. This does not come from a sectarian belief --- it's my opinion, only.
Excuse me? No disrespect --- but we WERE all born "naked" --- although your point is well taken, IMO
I agree. Except, leave out the word "healthy". "Moral? Yes. We live in a society that is getting sicker and less Godly". I think you addressed two of the problems of our society: lack of morality and less closer to God. This is not a sectarian viewpoint, it is my opinion, only.
You give me one scripture that says anything about it being a sin to see a woman naked. From what I understand the man isn't watching ****, and he isn't watching these films to see the nudity. If the women is so insecure in herself that she can't stand for him to see other women naked then that's her problem that she needs to take care of. It us unhealthy for her to have such fear, and envy that she would forbid her husband from doing something completely moral that he enjoys.
Kitriel, if you had a "relationship" with the Lord, you would understand completely what I am saying. Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 1 Tim 2: 9 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, 10 but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
Are you ashamed of your body? Are you afraid he will compare you to the movie girl? get over it !
In all respect, I think you're putting the shoe on the wrong foot. It is not she who stands "ashamed" of her body --- the point is: why on earth would he WANT to watch "nudity" (and, since the author never told us whether or not it's just "nudity" --- or ***********), we are left only to assume. However --- my question would be: whether or not it's just "nudity", (benign) or *********** (malignant) ---- which is it? REGARDLESS of which: why on earth would he prefer to watch EITHER, with his girl-friend (that's IF he considers her his girl-friend) sitting next to him?? I don't get it.
Why in the world would you object to your boyfriend seeing a photo of another woman's body? He cant touch it, he can't interact with it in any way. The only conclusion can be that you some how see this as a competition between you and the photo for his attention and if your that insecure you shouldn't be in the relationship to begin with. It is doomed to failure.
It is not a photo. ..which is why we have **** movies.
Its a graphic usually gratuitous naked shot of women. .. The question should be why makers think the average American male needs to draw him in to watch a movie ? How shallow is that. It makes the women an object. .. a selling feature.
Prolly cause the movie is crap with no story to it so they add **** hahaha I can't stand it and its my choice not to have this crap jammed down my neck and my partner gets the ***** with me but you know that little red button on the remote!!!! its my favorite button. But hey if he wants to leave me so he can watch other women then so be it life goes on I'm not insecure I know what my morals are and I intend to uphold them no man has the power to change what I believe in
You're** good try tho Joyce
Hey I don't like that either and I don't care what you say photoes or movies just hate the crap always have and always will and NO I'm no more insecure than any other woman I think I'm a well adjusted well like woman who knows what she likes and what she doesn't.
Doesn't sound to me like he's actively seeking this nudity, otherwise the reaction wouldn't make sense. The fact that she wants him to miss out on 1/4 of R rated films because he might catch a glimpse of a breast is ridiculous.
I would ask how he would feel if that were his woman being looked at naked? Or how he would feel if movies had numerous scenes with fully naked men ? Who says shes worried about the comparison ? Variety is why men go to ***** clubs, right ?
It's true. If nudity was equal among genders I world think less. However, it seems every other movie I watch there's a woman taking her top off off no reason other than to get some "***** shots" in. Pathetic. How about a movie with some substance...not random nudity. Stay classy San Diego.
maybe your gay lol cause I don't have a problem with my body I'm hot always have been and I do't like it either, I guess its like you like broccoli or you don't, but I do believe in choice they should take it out so everyone can watch the movie, and if ppl like you want to seek such **** then its called google lol
My boyfriend and I had the same problem. Now we compromise, we watch the movies but if there is a naked girl on screen he looks away and if there is a naked man on the screen I look away. ask him why he wants to see another naked woman he will say he doesnt and you can say well then i dont see a problem you looking away if you dont want to see a naked woman and so long as you see them you cant see me naked. and mean it.
LOL Love your comments I do the same and say the same and its OK go girl.
Clearly you have some issues. Somebody raised you with the belief that nudity is dirty. And that is not normal. Does it bother you that your dog is naked? Or your cat? Humans aren't born with clothes on. Clothing is something that ancient man started wearing to keep warm. Somehow it got changed into something to cover up our bodies. Seriously, I don't know any guy that would want to be with a girl that restricts him to rated G movies. He's not a 5 yr old. If nudity bothers you so much then how do you guys manage to have sex? Only in the dark? People get way too uptight over the stupidest things.
While I respect your reply --- I'll stand on what I said (above). The difference lay between males and females. Men like nudity --- women do not appreciate it. The biggest query I authored was: "Why on earth does your boyfriend want to watch nudity" --- when he has "you" (her).? Thus, I stand suspicious of her "boyfriend".
I as a woman can appreciate nudity. Although I don't need it in every movie; lest I become numb. I love tasteful nudity.
I'm a woman, and I think that there isn't anything as beautiful as the human body in it's natural state.
In its natural state does this mean old women as well or just the beautiful young ones with the great lighting cause they sure as hell don't put any old or ugly ones on the screen,,,, OMG you ppl are so not getting the point MEN GET OFF ON IT....IT AINT GOOD FOR A RELATIONSHIP IF YOU WANT TO GET INTIMATE WITH YOUR WOMAN.....Would you really care if it wasn't in movies and in our face every freeking day. Have you ever thought of it like this,,,,I wonder how many women and little girls would not have been raped if sex wasn't shoved in men's faces every day of their lives with the expectations placed on men hmmmmm something to think about. I think it would be good for humans to cover up a bit its such a slutty world and like the author I totaly hate it and I won't change my morals and what I believe in cause some bimo says I'm insecure I love my body and my partner loves my body he doesn't need to compare mine to any other. Its a matter of preference you like it I don't there is NOTHING wrong with this girl and I hope she stays true to herself. If it makes her uncomfortable and hurts her then she has every right to stand up and ask her man to respect her..
I think everyone who replied actually missed the author's post.
It is NOT a question of "nudity", watching "nudity" ---- or, God forbid: ***********. (The author never told us "which").
The question that remains is: just why on earth is "he" watching nudity or ***********, when he sits next to his girl-friend? IMO, that certainly stands as being insulting to her --- and speaks volumes for the "character" of her "boy-friend" --- that is, IF he really IS one. If he really were? Then, he should respect her feelings and watrch his "nudity" or "*****" movies when he's alone ---- NOT sitting next to her. How disrespectful does it get?
Jim3130 - wanting to include your girlfriend or boyfriend in your activities is in no way disrespectful, If you start segregating your activities your relationship is doomed. If while he is watching the nude scenes if she were to nibble on his ear or rub his tool she might find that the nude scenes could have a very pleasant, for her , result.
Girls love to feel beautiful and society raises us up to believe that is where most of our worth comes from. Therefor, if a man is staring at other naked woman, we feel insufficient. Doesn't mean we are, but we sure as hell feel that way. So why would a guy who truly loves you want you to feel that way? Like most guys say they can't help staring, many girls can't help feeling this way. We feel like we don't have all of them when they have all of us. And to help him get off to some other chick would not be pleasant, it would be degrading, like we are all just object helping our guy get off. That's the girlfriend's job and she shouldn't need help of some random sex object on the screen. Guys need to understand that watching **** or naked/scantily clothed girls is damaging to a girls self worth. Guys should work to be better for the women they love, or at least show some respect and don't eyeball when their girlfriend is right there
Typical guy answer.
ask yourself how would you like your partner fantasizing over some ***** while laying in bed next to you or haw bout he has an erection over some ***** he saw naked and wants to pork you....don't you think that would be wrong eerrrrr whats the point of being in a relationship or getting intimate if he ain't thinking of you????? Your prolly a nude model without a man.
you`re retarded, right? if your man has his eyes glued to the slutty chick getting banged and you start doing what you said, he's just going to get off at what he's seeing and picturing that chick doing it. sex is supposed to be INTIMATE not some casual fun, sicko.
Sorry, this is not normal and he'll probably end up leaving you. ;(
Totally agreed. Thanks on behalf of the author of this post.
People want more what we tell them they can't have. Reverse psychology...
I googled this issue because I feel the same way and I'm happy to read I'm not alone. My issue is a little worse though; my bf put on a movie with nudity just to see the nudity, turned it off, came to bed and made a pass at me. In general I am uncomfortable with female nudity in movies because when I show myself to a male it's suppose to be special and intimate and with all these females getting naked and exposing themselves it feels as though nudity is not special and private to anyone anymore. I do admit to being insecure in comparison but my bf has assured me that I'm all the women he needs. Clearly not and clearly he proved that was a lie when he put the movie on. I mean we were getting ready to fall asleep and he goes, "do you care what movie I put on? I'll probably fall asleep to it anyway?" and you know he watches five minutes, waits to see the nudity then turns it off, gets into bed and makes a pass. YEAH! why wouldn't I be mad? right? I already complain we like never have sex.<br />
I actually broke up with my boyfriend over this issue and though I can admit I'm overreacting, I also don't think I am. I feel cheated on and disrespected! I can't help feeling this way and my bf is trying to work this out with me and even offered to throw the movie out. I don't mind the occasional nudity in some movies now and then, and I would never want to be in a relationship were I have to ban movies with nudity. I can handle it, but putting the movie on just to see the nudity is too much for me and in general it seems all the movies he likes are only because there is nudity in them. <br />
I already had issues with the sex being too dirty and not loving and intimate enough. I'm happier with him now than I was before but accepting and moving on from this feels a lot like moving on from a cheating incident. Ugh. There just seems to be no resolution to this cause to make up and move on from this would require me feeling silly for overreacting and every time I try to do it I get angry again because I really am hurt by this!
I totally understand I would kick my partner out if he did that cause he knows how I feel I won't stand for any and I am OK with that if he needs that or wants that then he doesn't need me he can use his hand.
this speaks to me SO much. i literally googled if i was stupid for being hurt from this! it hurts badly, yes, ill admit im insecure but he KNOWS that. he claims that he doesnt know that there will be nudity in it but we had a fight last night because i wanted a sweet, cute movie night and he chose this fight movie and i told him that there will most DEFINATELY be sex in it and he just blew me off. so i went to the room to read and play on the computer and when i came back, there was sex right on the screen! he sorta went "oh euh, srry i was a bout to fastforward it" and im staring at him ging.."i told you, and this is why i didnt want to watch it." it was the fact that i KNEW it was a ****** movie and he still watched it, without me. i gogled the movie and the pening scene was a girl riding a guy and he said that the scene i walked in on was the only part... it hurts and i suck for feeling this way but i cant help it... he says he doesnt want to watch my movies cause they're childish but hell, im only 18! i dont want t have sex shoved at my face all the time...
Ok - male comment on this. I have the opposite problem. I am totally and completely in love with my wife of two years - she works in the medical field in a small town where everyone knows everyone.... While I don't believe that movies with nudity are bad, lets translate this to real life: MY issue is that I would prefer she not see male doctors/practioners/clinicians at all, ESPECIALLY ones that she works with, unless it's a life or death emergency where her life obviously comes first! But when there's a choice of many good female providers, she should choose them. I'm already struggling with the fact that she has to handle, touch or otherwise interact with other men's genitalia, but ad this to it and I'm lost, hurt and otherwise disgusted. I want to be the only man she "handles" and I certainly don't want other men handling her - it's not a sexual thing!!! I know she's not getting off on it, but I truly feel that this overexposure changes her opinion and fascination with me (like an overexposure to ***********). Further, to hear her co-workers at parties and other functions talk about my wife's and other womens' boobs, sexual history, etc., and then to find out my wife has been examined by one of them makes me want to vomit and leave... This has become a serious issue for us. Again, it's nothing to do with sex - it's to do with intimacy and that I want to be the only special man who get's to see her that way.... I do, in fact, practice what I preach and only allow male practitioners to examine me, even though it doesn't bother her. She's totally fine with me being in any state of undress in front of another woman - which is also a problem (not that I would ever do that). Am I the only one who feels this way???
hell n you're not! if she had the chice between a man touching her and a female and STILL went with the man, even though you've probably told her your feelings, then she is being a total butt. you should try talking to her again abut it and SERIOUSLY tell her how you feel.
I had similar problem. I would get so uncomfortable when those scenes would come on, id actually blush. I would sit there wondering what hes thinking, and if hes getting aroused. I know of course that this stems from my own insecurities and inferiority complex. I talked to him about it, and explained how it makes me feel. You cant ask him to stop, it will only make him want to rebel against you. But you can explain your feelings on the matter. I choose movies I know will have minimal nudity to avoid the situation. I recognize that I do have issues to deal with, but until that doesn't mean I need to force myself to be uncomfortable. State your boundaries, and respect them.
yes you are normal! I have this problem too and am always being told you just need to deal with it because its the way of the world. well **** that! It is not right that I have to be made to feel bad constantly because my boyfriend gets turned on my some ridiculous hint of sex or boob that may i point out is in everything!! And then men have sex with their partners because theyve been turned on by a woman on tv or whatever. Your man will tell you that he cant help it or its the way things are, and thats all well and good, but does it seem like men and women being in relationships is so damaging that it doesnt seem right or natural to me. Men will always be lusting after other woman, wanking to things on tv and it damages us. I have made up my mind that this is not the way to go and that if you are strong enough to not have someone, then you are better off. And if anyone strongly disagrees I ask the simple question, Is it ok that my boyfriend has sex with me because he has seen/been thinking about another woman? Is that not obviously going to mess me up? That is not my being insecure or paranoid, that is him ******* with me, right?!
yes, it's normal. of course you dont want your boyfriend seeing women's boobs and other parts in movies. i won't wath a movie with my bf if there is nudity in it. why should i? it infuriates me. first of all women wants their bf looking at other naked women, tv or not. it is not fair to us . why should we have to sit there at take that? we absolutely should not! most women are passive about it and dont say anything. eventhough they dont like it. because they dont wanna seem immature or jelous or insercure or anyother word guys could say u are ,but in all reality, we are nine of those things. first off ,let me explain, guys are horny perverts who drouwl over nake girls . but us women, dont feel that way about naked guys. we dont get so excited and turned on by seeing a naked guys ,but for guys seeing a naked women...forget it , they are discusting about it. men dont have that sex appeal women have. we dont wanna see guys naked . its not to pretty , but for guys to see women naked , it turns them on.but u know its really messed up how its always the women naked and no men . i think if a women shows her boobs the men should show their ****. its only fair. then we would see hows comfortable the guys r with it. even if that happened, it still would equal out. because women dont get turned on seeing **** not like how men get turned on seeing boobs n *** . i think u should leave him, women who show their boobs n *** in movies are so disrespectful and are not comsiderate to all the other women in the world who have boyfriends and husbands
Yes it's normal and okay. Men would probably dislike movies more if half had a bunch of naked men running around with close-ups of their privates!!! Don't listen to these other people do what makes YOU feel comfortable and if your boyfriend doesn't like that then don't stay with him.
guys are visual creatures..thats why it is ok to ob<x>ject to him seeing naked pics, movies, etc.he should respect how yu feel towards those things. I have the same issue, but my bf does his best not to watch nudity..we check movies before we watch them so that if there is nudity we will kno when its coming up. type in whatever movie and then "parents guide" this has helped me a lot..he still gets to watch his movies and I know that he wont be seeing any nudity.
Teach me about this parents guide thing please.
If you go on IMDB it has a parents guide and explains all sex/nudity scenes and rates 1-10 on how much is there
I was with a guy who said the same thing. It's not art that's his way of wanting to see another chick naked. That's how guys are they are disgusting. I'm currently dealing with the movie issue myself but I'm trying to get over it becaus it is ruining my current relationship I have been in for 2 years. I always accuse him of getting a hard on or accusing him of thinking about other women while he's having sex with me because of these nasty movie scenes ! They are making it hard for any women to be happy and have confidence in our selfs. Bt a man seems to run everything in this world and that's why the world has gone to **** :) This is a hard issue to get over but when a guy that u love and think loves u back shouldn't even say that to u if he cared about u he would work through it with u and at least turn his head on the nasty Scenes. If he can't respect u he's not worth it chances are there is a hotter guy with better judgement and will know how to treat a lady. But that's hard to find so I'm considering going lesbian myself.
I'd like to answer your question with a question: Do you know why you feel the way you do about your boyfriend seeing nudity in movies? If you are honest with yourself, what are the reasons for your feelings? If you already know the answer, have you been able to clearly and sincerely explain those reasons to your boyfriend? <br />
Please understand that whatever the reasons are for your feelings, they are valid, they are real, and they are yours. If you find, for example, that you feel jealous, confused, or angry when your boyfriend looks at other naked women in movies, that's ok! "Normal" doesn't matter when it comes to feelings, in my opinion. What we choose to do with our feelings is what counts, and in order to choose how to respond to a situation, it helps to know how we feel and why we feel that way.<br />
I believe that we as a society do not have a healthy perspective on sex or the female body (or the male body for that matter.) Movies can make women feel inferior: actresses in movies don't look as good themselves as they do in the movies, yet we hold ourselves up to that fantastical standard most of the time, which can make us feel inferior to the women in these films. It's irrational but understandable. Women are continually ob<x>jectified in our culture, and that includes movies (as an aside, if a woman is being ob<x>jectified in a movie, I give myself permission to excuse myself and leave--the same goes for violence or anything else that makes me feel uncomfortable.) Menstruation is a taboo topic, advertisers tell us all day long that there is something wrong with us and we need a product to make us okay and secure, we get mixed messages about sex and pleasure and femininity...the list goes on. <br />
You are not alone in your feelings, and they are very real and acceptable. Your boyfriend can't understand how you feel and why you feel that way unless you are honest and vulnerable about your feelings with him. If you are honest and vulnerable and he says "Too bad, I don't care how you feel..." I would move on. Most likely however, he will be thrilled with your honesty and he will want to do whatever he can to make you feel comfortable and supported (if he's a valuable man.) He will want to understand how you feel and why and he will consider that when making any future decisions about video viewing, however, he may still decide to watch these movies. If that is the choice he makes, ask him to explain his decision to you. If you are happy and comfortable with his choice and his reasons, even if it opposes your beliefs or comfort zone, it will bring you closer to one another. <br />
The more honest you are with yourself and your boyfriend, the closer you will be to one another, you will both learn and grow, and you will be able to make the best decision possible for you and your relationship. Good luck, take care!
I think what you've said is perfect. A lot of people are saying some pretty harsh things and it hurts. I want my bf to be able to watch it for the comedy like Ted but it just hurts and makes me so uncomfortable. I see it as mentally cheating and being a girl that was cheated on early on its really hard to let it go. I really am trying to fix it I just dont see it happening
I completely agree with you. My boyfriend loves all the movies out there about sex with graphic nudity and it bothers me too. He watches all the late name Starz and Cinemax movies on TV and I can't help but feel self conscious. It just feels like he enjoys seeing other women like that instead of me... Even if my view is ridiculous to the rest of the world, if he really loves me then he'll respect the way it makes me feel. Even though he completely disagrees with me, he tries to stay away from movies like that now. I just think it's so degrading to women. There's almost never male nudity in movies, it's always female nudity. And its only purpose is because guys like it. So why would I want my boyfriend to watch it? So now, you're not wrong and you're not alone.