Post my lady friend came over last night. I made dinner, we danced to some music, we watched some DVD's...then came the moment where she took off her panties & started walking around in a t-shirt! At first I thought about wimping out & just say forget it. Because I was worried about how she was going to respond to the BIG move I was going to make on her. But something happend...something happend that made me & her, VERY happy :-) We were laying down watching tv, when all of a sudden, she does that ~SeXy~ little butt grind she does against me. Now at this point, i'm starting to get turned on lol I look down at my boxers, and see that i'm almost sticking out like a sore thumb...a very BIG sore thumb lol Then I said to myself "just go for it man!". I wrapped my right arm around her stomach & placed my right hand on her left breast. I then started to slowly kiss her neck. She then let out this ~*BEAUTIFUL*~ little moan while I was doing this to her :-) I knew right then in there that it was so on tonight lol We were making out for a while when I stopped for a second to go down on her. Then that's when things got REALLY intense! Her inner thighs were pressed against my head so hard, that I thought see was going to break my neck lol She then had this AMAZING ****** that left both of us worn out! We slept for a good while afterwards. Then that was that. Or so I thought! This morning, while I was in the shower, she decided to join me :-) We then got it on like crazy lol After a couple of hours went by, we took turns washing each other up (how cute is that?) So then we got dressed, I made us some breakfast & while eating, we had a nice conversation about what took place between us this weekend. She told me that me being so shy was a major turn on for her. She then told me that she had been praying for a loooong time for me to make a move on her lol She said that she was very happy that I finally did & that she's already looking forward to next weekend...& the weekend after that & the weekend after that, & so on & so on lol I then asked her where were we going from here in terms of a serious relationship. She said that she still thinks of us as VERY close friends. Even closer now because of what happend. I then said asked her why still just friends? Her response was "we're friends with benefits." I said ok lol She then said that there are so many woman out there. And then in a ~SeXy~ voice she said "go show women what you're made of! I started *blushing* like a little school boy when she said that lol I'm still *blushing* now lol to my question of the day... Is it ok to have friends with benefits? Does that type of relationship confuse & complicate things?
HiPpIeRoNiN HiPpIeRoNiN 31-35, M 24 Answers Feb 8, 2009

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Absolutely. Like everyone else, as long as it is recreational and all parties agree. Have had a few "friends" that had problems similiar to mine, so we understood the needs we wanted met without worrying about any serious relationship issues. Neither wanted a relationship or to leave their spouse. We came together to take care of those needs that were unable to be met by our spouses.

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I just don't get it ! Call me old fashion.

It sounds like more of a play thing (I am being nice) then a friend. Who knows how many others your friend had before you.

Then she tells you to share what you are made of with others. That to me sounds like a dog and very dangerous for both of you.

Just think of it this way. All the men she slept with, you did too. Sounds pretty risky to me.

Must not be much of a lady to take her panties off and prance around in only a tee shirt. Think about it. She is only a friend?

My answer to your question is NO!

You would be the one to get hurt or you wouldn't of asked the question.

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i think firends with 'benefits' is ok so long as you both know where you stand with each other i thinks that its a good idea as it sound like its making the two of you happy but u don't have the stresses and strains of knowing your in a meaningfull long term relationship :D

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Just remember there is no such thing as benefits... you will pay for them down the road

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it is great to have friends with benefits i know my wife loves it

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In order to have a friend with benifits work you have to understand right from the start where each of you are at in your lives.

Are both of you in a relationship and just doing each other on the side, or is 1 of you in a relationship and the other is single?

either way you should always make sure their is a mutual understanding.

My experience with fwb's is if you are in a relationship its best to find someone who is also in a relationship cause there is a mutual understanding that neither of you have any intention on leaving your current relationship and so there is no stress and drama of juggling 2 women or 2 dudes at the same time both demanding your attention.

Its all fun and games till someone gets hurt

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Of course its fine to have long as you both know that is what it is.

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Hippie! It's healthy and it's fun! Nothing wrong at all with it...enjoy!! :-)

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Of course there's nothing wrong with that. I got several friends with benefits and several of my friends got them too. And it also works in relationships if you make good agreements about that.

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Don't kid yourself. You and she are negotiating an open relationship. You're giving each other permission to have multiple sex partners. Just calling it FWB doesn't change the fact that you are both non-monogomous and must take precautions not to pass things around and between you and ALL your partners. Those are the facts!

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I think everyone thinks it can work out for you, i wouldn't know, maybe i'll find out soon. in the meantime i am anxious to have some fun, having neglected my sensual side for too long, it is scary though cause i fear getting attached!

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I think it's totally okay as long as both parts are aware of the "seriousness" of the relationship :) They can certainly be fun ;)

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I think is ok if both sides are not ready to get into a real relationship and both sides know where they stand and are open enough to be honest with one another at all times so no confusions take place!!!

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Friends with benefits is OK for a while but then it tends to mess things up once someone gets attached to the other, which does happen. Imagine being around her if you were all out and she went home with another guy. If that would bother you then i would stop. If not there is nothing wrong with it if it is both mutual and with someone of age. But be prepared for the possibility of it messing up your friendship.

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It does complicate things and often times I get really hooked on that person. Especially if they are really sexy and are good lovers. Oh and if they know how to show their vulnerability.. oh that gets me everytime. I would rather be with intense lovers than boring ones. I do think it's a good thing, cuz people need their space. You never know when you might need to have your own space. And what if a really great lover comes around or someone from your past that you can't just turn down? I beleive sex is sacred, so live it up and be safe. I sure coudl use some good lovin right about now!!

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I think it is fine to have a friend with benefits and hope that you and your lady friend have many good times together.

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If you are of legal age, befriending and benefitting another person of legal age is certainly ok. Remember it is just like any other relationship - ebb and flow. Sometimes it will be more about the friendship, other times will be all about the sex, and sometimes the two will be balanced. Keep it honest and enjoy the hell out of it!

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I know it's way past when the question was asked, but for those of you who are looking at this now, here's some helpful advice.

I'm with this guy right now and we're only FWB (I don't call it an open-relationship because neither of us are open about it--we keep it secret). He asked me for very long to be FWB and I kept putting it off and telling him no. I wanted a boyfriend, damn it! But then one night after we had an in-depth conversation, my brain got to thinking... Why DID I want a boyfriend? In the long run, it's a lot of commitment. Seeing someone every day, sharing a living space, informing each other of our daily lives. I mean, I'm 17! I'm too young to be preparing the rest of my life!

Then I realized, I didn't want a boyfriend. I didn't want to plan my life around someone who may or may not be there in a year or two, I didn't want to deal with a long-distance relationship when I go to college, I didn't want to be a wife, I didn't want to change my last name. I wanted to be a Wolf! (That's my surname). I wanted to go to college! I wanted to be an explorer and travel the world! And I sure as heck didn't want to do that with a ring around my finger and always asking, "Hey, baby, I'm thinking of going to China--yeah, I know, it's far and we won't see each other, but hey, it's what I want in life." I wanted love, but above all, I wanted freedom.

"But what if you fall in love?" my conscious raged. I wasn't ready to deal with heartbreak. But as I thought hard about love, I realized that I already love him. I love everyone. I love life. I love all my friends--and he's a very good friend--be them boys or girls. I care for his well-being, I want to talk to him, be around him, make memories with him. That's what I call LOVE. The only difference? There's a sexual appeal with him. I love him just as I love everyone else, except I also find him sexually attractive. This has helped me from being "heartbroken" or "falling in love." I consider it the hippie approach.

Don't be afraid to make a few ground rules, either. It's good to know where each other stands. Mine were:

1) Tell no one. (This is what makes the difference between a FWB and an open-relationship).

2) Still remain friends. (We agreed that if either of us decided to date, we would stop being FWB and go back to being just friends.)

3) No sex. (We're only 17 and I think we can find other ways to make each other happy without making that giant step.)

4) Don't expect it all the time. (I still wanted to be friends, not just **** buddies.)

5) Nothing suggestive in public.

Rules with vary in relationships, and expect to have to make sacrifices!

A few tips:

1) Don't be with someone who is already in a relationship if the 3rd party doesn't know. You're looking to benefit everyone, not harm.

2) Make sure the relationship is legal.

3) Only be with someone who you are positive they are being responsible and safe. Whoever they sleep with

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