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I bought a journal because she never talks to me about whats going on in her life specially when she gets angry from school well .she express a feeling of hate toward a friend she said I hateyou tiana fuckyou bit!!ch I was so concern that I ask her who was tiana she said my friend and I ask why you express that way about a friend all she said you are sneaking into my private stuff I said I was sorry I just want to help you I promise I won't do it again I guess I lost her trust but I want to help her I dont like her having theses feelings she's only 9and as adult im not going to tolerate it even though I stood quiet didnt say anything just that I love her did I do wrong?
marielove83 marielove83 26-30, F 12 Answers Apr 10 in Parenting & Family

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She has to know that you will respect her privacy. However, as a parent and a guardian, you have the absolute right to invade her privacy when it become necessary for her safety. You are not her friend. Boundaries are set at your terms, not hers.

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don't - irreparable trust issues

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I think all mothers of daughters are a major force to be reckoned with if you try to do anything harmful to them. Mother-daughter relationships are unique in their particular bond, and an almost love-hate thing happens. We care so much about our little girls that we will kill for them - no joke. Your girl is only 9. Of course she needs your love and guidance. You need her to trust you, to be able to talk to you about anything without making her feel like she shouldn't have told you. My own daughter was so stubborn at that age, I wrote her notes and bought her books because she wouldn't talk to me. She is 18 now, and still, the bitchy-child pops out of her once in a while, and I am left there going "What just happened?" ALL we can do as mothers is whatever our best is. There isn't a "Raising Children for Dummies". I wish there was. You are her rock in a stormy world. She needs to know that you will never stop loving her, and you will never punish her for telling you ANYTHING. You will just love her and help her and that's all.

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It is not spying. It is being a good parent. Do your job as a parent and quit attempting to be your child's best friend.

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well no but you cant like come right out and say stuff like that because if she thinks your going through her stuff you stand no chance of having a conversation about it... you have to kind of work your way in to it without letting any knowledge out that you know what is going on.

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No, it's not ok. If you lose her trust, you lose your best tool for helping her.

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I don't think it is right to read children's private feelings,you are likely to read things you wish you didn't Know. I raised 5 children and did it without invading their Privacy. I find you can learn all you need to know by just being involved in your Childs Life. :)

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You can't get involved in childrens Fights,and friendships. They hate each other one day and are best friends the next.

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I think spying through her stuff would only make things worse. I got in trouble a couple months ago because of adults spying through my stuff and it made my life hell for a while and I'm still kind of mad at them and now I'm slightly afraid of my mom coming into my bedroom. It feels so much like she's invading my privacy every time she merely opens the door but thankfully she doesn't believe in spying through people's personal stuff.

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my mom used to do that sh it and i still hate her for it

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It's required as a parent...LOL

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I wish the parents of the kids here would spy on them...The 13-15 population would drop drastically

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But then who'd ask constantly if they should be a vampire or a werewolf when they grow up? lol

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LOL...Some grown *** adult or thinks they are grown anyway

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