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Is it okay for me to say "happy birthday" to someone who is no longer my friend (she ended the friendship 11 months ago)

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15 Answers to "Is it okay for me to say "happy birthday" to someone who is no longer my friend (she ended the friendship 11 months ago)"

  1. CountSpatula - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by CountSpatula Jul 4th, 2012 at 5:29PM

    While it is very thoughtful of you to want to do so, you are probably opening yourself up to being hurt over the situation all over again.

    Like (3)

  2. Thekidsmom - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by Thekidsmom Jul 4th, 2012 at 5:34PM

    agreed

    Like (1)

  3. flan19 - 22-25 years old - female

    Reply by flan19 Jul 4th, 2012 at 6:06PM

    Maybe you're right. :( Besides, she might think of me as a pathetic loser for trying to contact her in the first place.

    Like (1)

  4. maillemanjoe - 31-35 years old

    Posted by maillemanjoe May 5th, 2013 at 2:07AM

    Yes...there are several levels of relationship and they are always changing throughout life.

    1. Stranger (never met them and no idea of their character or beliefs)
    2. Acquaintance (someone who you see but neither of you talk)
    3. Surface friend (you say hi but neither care about each other)
    4. Friend (someone you share beliefs and do activities with and care for)
    5. Close Friend (you consider important and you show care for weekly)
    6. Best Friend (daily show care for, do things for them selflessly)
    7. Lover/Spouse/Partner (committed financially, emotionally, physically)

    These are all the stages that can be worked up towards and they are based on trust, mutual commitment, common interests, and experience
    If a person violates your trust and becomes an enemy...you would probably never allow them to be more than an acquaintance ever again.

    As the saying goes..."hurt me once, shame on you...hurt me twice, shame on me."

    Like (1)

  5. Shoreboy - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by Shoreboy Nov 23rd, 2012 at 2:01AM

    If you honestly hope she has a happy birthday you should do it. If she 'snaps back' at you that is her loss and her being petty. If she truly values the friendship you once had she will take it as a sincere wish for her contentment.

    Like (1)

  6. Frazzill - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by Frazzill Aug 6th, 2012 at 5:21AM

    heck ya, I'm still sending a card to my ex best friend who hasn't talked to me in 12 YEARS.

    Like (1)

  7. flan19 - 22-25 years old - female

    Reply by flan19 Aug 14th, 2012 at 5:11PM

    Wow, that's insane! How did it go?

    Like (1)

  8. weewass - 51-55 years old - male

    Posted by weewass Jul 5th, 2012 at 2:51AM

    Forget it and Move on.

    Like (1)

  9. flan19 - 22-25 years old - female

    Reply by flan19 Jul 9th, 2012 at 4:15PM

    I'll try. :(

    Like (1)

  10. weewass - 51-55 years old - male

    Reply by weewass Jul 10th, 2012 at 4:02PM

    Good on you there's a lot going on in the world ,good luck.

    Like (1)

  11. WildSpectrumArts - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by WildSpectrumArts Jul 4th, 2012 at 5:55PM

    I think you should just move on. They have and it is time that you do as well.

    Like (1)

  12. OurOnlyTime - 22-25 years old - male

    Posted by OurOnlyTime Jul 4th, 2012 at 5:44PM

    what is she going to say?
    I dont except-
    I used to have a very good friend that I have known since I was 4, we got into a big disagreement and stop speaking for about 4 years(yes i know). I tried to fix it eventually but things will never be the same.
    what did you do that caused her to end the friendship?
    I have no idea if this is fixable but obv its someone you care about.
    if this is not fixable I recommend you appoligise to her and get on with your life because I think you realy feal guilty for something.

    Like (1)

  13. flan19 - 22-25 years old - female

    Reply by flan19 Jul 4th, 2012 at 6:04PM

    Well, I think I've been a good friend to her, have been there with her through thick and thin. She said that I was trying to get info from her of my boyfriend, which is not true (my boyfriend and her were friends). My boyfriend of 8 years tells me that she told him "I wasn't worth it" (that happened when me and my boyfriend broke up) and so I confronted her. I wanted her to tell me her side, but instead she got mad and accused me of being her friend to get info on him. I think this is pretty stupid, but she just ended the friendship. She said that I was drama and that we didn't owe each other anything to be friends. She also said she was sick of me. But I still love her dearly because she was my only friend. I have told her "sorry" many times and she wasn't taking it as an apology.

    Like (1)

  14. monkeysintheattic - 36-40 years old

    Posted by monkeysintheattic Jul 4th, 2012 at 5:43PM

    well remembered

    Like (1)

  15. miniminx - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by miniminx Jul 4th, 2012 at 5:39PM

    Why would you want to? do you truly want her to have a Happy Birthday? I'd say leave it be unless you see this as maybe a way of sorting through things with her? in that case say it but don't hold too much store by it

    Like (1)

  16. Availableme - 26-30 years old - male

    Posted by Availableme Jul 4th, 2012 at 5:39PM

    Why not? It shows U remember her.

    Like (1)

  17. Difum - 61-65 years old - male

    Posted by Difum Jul 4th, 2012 at 5:38PM

    It all depends on what you are expecting her reaction to be.

    Like (1)

  18. Whateverrrrr - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by Whateverrrrr Jul 4th, 2012 at 5:38PM

    Only if you want to.

    Like (1)

  19. Thekidsmom - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by Thekidsmom Jul 4th, 2012 at 5:35PM

    Just remember she may not respond well and you may get your feelings hurt in the process

    Like (1)

  20. flan19 - 22-25 years old - female

    Reply by flan19 Jul 4th, 2012 at 6:09PM

    Yes, my feelings would probably be hurt. :'( . Thank you. I appreciate your honesty.

    Like (1)

  21. Thekidsmom - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by Thekidsmom Jul 4th, 2012 at 6:10PM

    anytime

    Like (1)

  22. DcreativeBUG - 22-25 years old

    Posted by DcreativeBUG Jul 4th, 2012 at 5:29PM

    i wouldnt bother, but then again i'm a very bitter person

    Like (1)

  23. OnIceNice - 22-25 years old - female

    Posted by OnIceNice Jul 4th, 2012 at 5:28PM

    do u want to?

    Like (1)

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