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My ex-husband "forced" me to have sex - (in my eyes it was force). I am wondering how husbands feel about this? Please read my blog (I was unhappily married) and let me know what you think. If I am wrong about my ex and this is common, I think it would help me get past this pain. Thank you.
PetiesGirl PetiesGirl 46-50, F 21 Answers Jul 18, 2009

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I think that you are missing the point. It is the duty of a wife to satisfy her husband and if she does not want to do this then it is his right to take it when he wants it. Remember people the duties of a wife are clearly spelled out in the bible and if GOD has told a woman to please her husband then who of us has the right to deny GOD's direction. It is not RAPE if a man takes what is his right by virture of her giving herself in marriage. He provides for her and she MUST provide for him no matter what he wants.

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...wtf is wrong with you? do you honestly think god would want a man to rape his wife? it is also spelled out in the bible that a man "love & honour" his wife - raping her hardly seems like "love & honour".
when a woman marries a man, she is not handing over the rights to her body & saying that he can rape her whenever he wants. & if she has sex in exchange for him providing for her...isn't that prostitution? so marriage is like legalised prostitution in your eyes - that's ****** up.
if a man wants to have sex with a woman (whether his wife or not) for his own sexual gratification & pleasure & not hers, that is seriously ****** up. what sort of man enjoys having sex with a woman against her will & doesn't consider her enjoyment necessary? if you could still enjoy it, you're seriously ****** up.

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No....I read you blog.....Absolutely NOT!<br />
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Much time has passed and I'm glad to see you're better (although still scarred). Unfortunately, too many men confuse rape with either a God given right or "horsing around"... At early ages, there can be very cruel hazing between boys that set men up for this type of behavior. You know that this is about control, power, abuse and ignorance.<br />
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I know many woman that have been raped and the emotional damage is incalculable. I'd like to believe that our society is getting the message out...that this is not acceptable....Maybe some other women can answer whether that's true...is it safer? Peace

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Of course it is...I can't believe this is even a question. If your ***** gets out of line, put a leash on her and make her do it.

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It depends, are you in to a 'taken in hand' relation or are you the two of you just a plain couple.

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It is definitely not okay — even if the wife's motivations are questionable (i.e. she's punishing him or wants to get even) Sex has to be warm and giving on both sides — and enjoyable. I'm not a prude because I like every kind of sexual situation — including oral, anal, toys, ***** bondage — but I also believe both partners have to be willing

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No, not under any circumstances, too many men marry for the right to have sex, and the media pushes this on us. My ex-wife of 20 years suddenly cut me off it lasted a year, i realized it was hormonal and did not pressure her, i carried on the family rituals like business as usual eventually she came around, i realize that many women who cheat will also deny you sex or that it is just something about your or them that makes it difficult for them to initiate or welcome sex, that still does not give us the right to force it upon them. I do wish though that women who wish to enter into marriage realize that they are doing as mature individuals and need to get a real grasp on this matter for i have heard so many men complain about this one thing.

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Ummm no-its called rape. In saying that-it still happens everyday, in every way. Most men get away with rape-Its a fact.

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No it is not O.K. He forced you and then did'nt even have guilt when you were crying. Marriage or not , that sounds like rape to me.

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sometimes that is kinky to force yourself on her. I like playing the submissive from time to time. But, if she isn't into it then no, it's not okay.

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I got married when I was 19 and my sex drive was off the charts. My wife tried to control me by not giving me sex. So, one day, I started trying to get some and she said no so I tied her up and was really rough with her and I even did anal on her which she had never had. I kept her tied up all day and used her off an on all day long. She acted like she was so mad and all that but when it was all over, she melted like putty in my arms. Since then, we have done rape fantasies, at her request and even had a couple of other guys involved. She ACTS like she doesn't want it but when it is forced on her, she loves it! Turns me on too!

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NO IT OKAY TO FORCE YOUR WIFE TO HAVE SEX AT ALL IT ABURES HER MARRIAGES AND WILL DO LOT OF DAMGED WITH HER EMOTIONAL ,NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND BUT HE DONT HAVE THAT RIGHT TO FORCE HER ANYTHING WHAT HE WANT OR HIS WAY, THIS IS PART OF RAPE AND SEXUAL ABURES . FOR MANY YEAR WOMEN HAVE BE GONE THROUGH ALOT FROM THEIR HUSBANDS BUT NOT ALL HUSBANDS ARE MEAN AND CRUEL BUT EVEN SO NO HUSBANDS SHOULD NEVER FORCE HIS WIFE AT ALL

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a woman (married or not) is a human being with her own free-will & rights to her own body. she doesn't all of a sudden hand that over to her husband when she says "i do". <br />
it's rape.

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I think the answer is "depends". If it is a matter of violence, then no (and I haven't read your blog). But I have been married 21 years now and from time to time over those years I have either been very demanding or downright forceful a handful of times. It has reestablished my role as the husband and her role as the wife and we have always been closer afterward. But in those times - and believe me they are far and few between - there was never any violence other than holder her in position. Dominance is different than violence and I believe the husband should be the dominate partner in the relationship.

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not necessarily. if a woman wants &amp; is most comfortable being submissive to her husband, good for her. but it should never be expected or demanded of her. her "role" is whatever she chooses it to be - she's a human being with free will.
i'm in my first relationship where i am submissive. i've had a couple of boyfriends previously, but there was never any dominant-submissive component to them - &amp; those relationships were good, &amp; i enjoyed them. but with my boyfriend now, i feel more comfortable playing the submissive role - it was my decision, &amp; when i told him how i felt he was surprised &amp; responded that if that's what i wanted he was happy with it, but he would want to be with me regardless. he feels flattered though that i trust him to make most decisions (only the decisions regarding our relationship), because i typically agree with with his reasoning - i look up to him. but if a man ever demanded it of me, i would be out of there in a flash.

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NO!!!!! My husban has never forced me to have sex and never would. Your husban should love and respect you and if he's forcing you to have sex then he doesn't.

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No! That's obviously rape! Do you even need to ask? The definition of rape is being forced to have sex against your will and it is crime punishable with imprisonment.

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hummm whats the word.... oh ya, RAPE!!!! if you dont want it you dont want it, no if ands or buts about it

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I'm the one who like to be a gentle <br />
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And I can understand that sometimes the women don't be at the mood <br />
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But honesty I don't know what I have to do , force my wife to act as my wife , or let be as she want <br />
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Since year and eight months and seven days we didn't have a sexual affair <br />
Many women her said that if I forced her it will be a raping <br />
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I want to ask these women a question , how often the regular women has sex <br />
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By the way I didn't force her yet , but I want ana answer , is what she doing a right thing to do

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