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He messaged me just other day to tell me he was in a relationship just to make me jealous. I don't much care for him, I hate him and I can say that in complete confidence that I would set him alight and push him into a train. So I messaged his girlfriend just to warn her of his nature. I know it's none of my business and what she decides to do is completely her decision, she just has the right to know what he's REALLY like. So she doesn't have to go through what I've been through.
Gemz2411 Gemz2411 18-21, F 6 Answers Apr 9 in Dating & Relationships

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YES

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You could write her, but it won't do much good IF he's good at what he does. They don't come into the relationship being abusive; it happens over time. You could try, but if he's experienced it won't do ya any good. Considering you're an ex, he's just going to call you crazy and jealous anyway. There have been cases where men have murdered MORE than one ex wife, yet STILL able to convince women they weren't abusive until it was too late. And the new girlfriends even knew he was a suspect in all cases. Some men are very deceptive...

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I'm very well aware that abusive relationships don't start as abusive.
We got on great for 6 months, then everything started to turn.

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Six months makes sense. He'll be able to work around it. You could give her a head's up, but unless SHE is experienced it won't make any difference.

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She'll find it hard to tell.
Usually someone who is abusive would hide his victims/past.

He had a girlfriend about a year ago and he never mentioned me to her. Making up stories that included me and basically erased me from them.

But when I messaged her, she already knew who he really was.

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Yep. I hope you find some peace. Don't get Stockholm Syndrome (SS)!

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Does having Stockholm Syndrome count being in love with the person before becoming his victim?

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I don't think so... :-/ It's more about an after-effect of the psychological trauma.

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yes

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She probably won't listen. it's like that in a new relationship.<br />
all sunshine and smiles.

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Once his true side comes out (which it will) she will see for herself.
I can't do much but at least I warned her.

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No.. She wont believe and it makes you look like a fool with sour grapes in your mouth. Let it go.

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I don't care if it makes me look like a fool.
I warned her out of the goodness in my heart and if she doesn't believe, it's understandable. But sooner or later, he will crack and reveal who he really is and she will see for herself that I was right about him.

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I've thought the very same thing before. I understand your desire to help. I'm just warning you, it might not do you any good other than making yourself feel like you've done the right thing. If it will make you feel better, do it. I understand the feeling.

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On that we agree.

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I've done it. I know him too well that he will **** up at some point.

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