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Is it true that a girl's relationship with her father defines all of her male relationships?

My father died when I was young, and I want to know if my emotional baggage from that, and the lack of a male figure in my childhood is going to hurt my future relationships. I'm 18, and have never had a boyfriend, never even been kissed. I am doing something wrong?

Posted 5 months ago

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denverguy

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I could be wrong but if I had to guess one of the reasons you have not had a relationship is you could be scared of the guy leaving you just as your dad left you as a kid. Not that he left you by choice when he died but subconsciously that fear could be there. By the way I am very sorry for your loss. I myself deal with adamant issues because I have not seen my dad since I was 3.

The thing to do though is just be nice with guys at your age and make friends. Your first love when you do find him might not be the right one either. I am 33 years old now still looking myself. Be happy with who you are being single though and never give up on your dream that your guy is out there right now and you just need to wait for fate to decide its time for your paths to cross.

Posted 5 months ago

Other 17 Answers to Is it true that a girl's relationship with her father defines all of her male relationships?

missteri	Posted Jun 17th, 2009 at 7:09AM I have heard that. I had an awful relationship with my father. I ran away and married the first guy I met. He was abusive too. I am not sure how that fits in, but that is my experience. Rated: +4Vote for this!
LizardKing	Posted Jun 17th, 2009 at 11:51AM No not neccesarily, but it might have a big effect on your relationships with men. Rated: +3Vote for this!
Whendolynn	Posted Jun 16th, 2009 at 10:49PM I've heard this all my life, too. What I'm learning, though is that a man's relationship with his father can be a fairly good predictor of what type of partner he'll be. Rated: +3Vote for this!
singer1960	Posted Jun 16th, 2009 at 10:49PM You have just not found the right one my dear... But yes....Lots of girls marry men like their father....Both of mine are with men that are a great deal like their father....But they just do not wish to admit it at times. Rated: +3Vote for this!
anardun	Posted Jun 16th, 2009 at 10:50PM lol no. It will probably influence it, but it won't define it, and you can change it. I would go see a therapist if you have issues or want to have help changing your habits with males etc. Rated: +3Vote for this!
marnief	Posted Jun 17th, 2009 at 11:52AM I think that really depends on the person you are talking about, some will be affected by their fathers and some won't that much. Just because everyone who had a bad relationship with their fathers didn't have much success in their love lives it doesn't mean that you will. I have a good relationship with my father and I didn't have a boyfriend or was kissed until I was 17, not too different from you. It might be because you are shy, or you don't have many guy friends, and it might be not related at all to your father. Either way, best of luck with finding a man (if you want to of course) =) Rated: +2Vote for this!
c8lorraine	Posted Jun 17th, 2009 at 7:17AM Possibly, as you have not had the experience where you know how a woman should be treated by a man. Rated: +2Vote for this!
Entr0py	Posted Jun 16th, 2009 at 9:58PM I hope not. Rated: +2Vote for this!
waitingforgodot	Posted Jun 17th, 2009 at 11:52AM No, not in my personal experience. My father was distant and abusive. My husband was a great guy. Rated: +2Vote for this!
busymom	Posted Jun 17th, 2009 at 11:52AM NO!! my father was abusive physically and emotionally when I lived with him and my younger sister he was a single parent... he favored her and we didn't get along I moved out and got married as soon as I turned 17 my hudband is nothing like my father we've been married for almost 9 years and to this day no matter how hard I try I can not get along with my father. my husband get along great Rated: +2Vote for this!
CorneaGenii	Posted Jun 17th, 2009 at 11:53AM I never put much stock in this idea. I always thought, if this were true, wouldn't the same be true of men, who would then seek out traits of their mom in a girl? Relationships are far too complex to make such generalizations. Oddly enough, my sister did marry a guy who shares a lot of traits with our dad. What's up with THAT??? Rated: +2Vote for this!
wakeupkaren	Posted Jun 17th, 2009 at 11:53AM I don't know that my relationship with my father has defined this one. Honestly, I look for my anti-father in a lot of ways. It only rules you as much as you let it. Rather than ruling out that the reason you don't have a boyfriend has to do with your lack of father figure, how about really looking into the situation. Do you have problems with holding a relationship of any type with males? Even friendship? Can you just not connect? You're 18. Very young, and honestly I was that age when I got in my first real relationship. So maybe it'll come to you soon. And I've had several friends that didn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend or their first kiss until older than that. Perhaps you haven't crossed persons with that 'right' person just yet. Rated: +2Vote for this!
twilighteyes	Posted Jun 16th, 2009 at 9:58PM :) Rated: +1Vote for this!
kylae77	Posted Jun 16th, 2009 at 10:17PM WEll the answer is usually a big old YES!! However it's not as bad if you haven't been abused or neglected by a male fiure & the only way I know of to get past that is to get counseling, heal & foster positive, healthy relationships with men - first make it NON romantic relationships with men. When I have an issue to work on like that, I just tell God - Hey I need help with this, what's my next step. And usually in a couple of weeks opportunities start coming. Good luck babe!! :D Rated: +1Vote for this!
KinkyFlower	Posted Jun 16th, 2009 at 11:45PM not sure really. my dad has always been a positive influence in my life...and i've noticed that i tend to gravitate towards men that have similar traits as my dad, so....your guess is as good as mine lol Rated: +1Vote for this!
Greg862	Posted Jun 17th, 2009 at 2:34AM It is true that women many times seem to hook up with a man who is much like her father. Anyone can quote exceptions...they always exist. But for the most part, the guy a woman chooses will appear to her to be much like her father. Hopefully, that father was kind, understanding and loving...and not abusive, indifferent and uncaring. I spend much of my time with my daughter, telling her how I am towards women and making sure to point out little things that a guy can do to give her hints that he's either a good...or a bad guy to get to know better. Fortunately, she's pretty aware so I think she'll do just fine. Rated: +1Vote for this!
consumer	Posted Jun 17th, 2009 at 7:07AM I have asked this question all my life, as my father died when I was very young. I always thought it would affect my relationships. I'm still not sure, though I have been in 2 out of 4 abusive relationships. Though it depends on other aspects of your life and personality. I would say keep being aware as you date. It is possible that I have not left bad relationships because of the fear of self-perpetrated abandonment. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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