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has no emotional problems? Isn't everything else just a compromise/settlling? It seems to me that a lot of marriages are much so (demonstrated by the ritual of bachelor/bachelorette parties. Why would you need that if you're completely happy with someone?).
Agonystick Agonystick 26-30, M 18 Answers Dec 17, 2012 in Romance & True Love

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Whats gonna happen when that persons looks fade or if they lose their money?

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Exactly! Shallow people can't comprehend that.

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Same thing that seems to be happening all the time. Infidelity/breakups and hunting for younger/richer prey. Or, by that time, you've already established such a relationship that you are so emotionally attached and will not care as much. But most of the time, it seems the former happens, or people are unsatisfied with their lives.

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I think my hubs is very nice to look at, probably more now then when I married him. He makes what he did 10 years ago and that's after making 40% less than what he had at one point. 15 years, 2 kids, lots of love and laughter. Always respect for each other but plenty of life ups and downs. Neither one of us is shallow and that's why we have a good marriage and are goofy-happy. And yes there's more jiggle in my wiggle but it makes me more curvy and less "eat a sandwich" skinny- and the only other person who sees it is a happy guy.

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Word! U are obviously a great wife and lover. That is a perfect attitude for sustaining happiness. I made boat loads of money, got fired more than once, inherited a ridiculous amount, and it seemed that my wife reacted to these episodes of fortune and misfortune no more than she reacts to changes in the weather and in hindsight I know that is the most you can ask for, in fact a guy should get on his knees and kiss your feet for having that disposition.

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Thanks :-)

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it is not wrong to be shallow, it is just shallow to be shallow.. personally, i cannot care less about my partner's looks or whether he is well off. my partner does not care about those things either (otherwise he wouldn't be with me).. there are more important things in life than appearances and material things.. in my opinion bachelor/bachelorette parties are silly and shallow.. but to each their own, i suppose..

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I think when your younger you have different priorities for sure all of those seem to be important and have a while you realize what really matters is happiness and just because someone has money and or looks hot doesn't mean they make you happy.

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Yes, I'm sure your priorities change, but isn't that because your options have changed too? When you are young, your are, for the most part, more attractive, and so can also attract people that are more attractive. Then, when you grow older, you cannot attract those people as much, and just hope to find someone that will be guaranteed stability. But if at that point, you had an option between a person with said qualities who was hotter/richer, and a person with said qualities that was not, the choice would be obvious I think.

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shallow is not always the true person get to know them and have some real two way conversation maybe there is more there that you believe have faith

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Men tend to be more shallow they all want blondes with huge boobs and most girls just do not fit that ideal.

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Interesting question. I think deep down I am a little shallow when it comes to guys. I am interested in personality over looks, but I do want some kind of attraction

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well, I do exploit these competetive advantages...but if you have those qualities as a male you tend to use the girl's that you sense are trying to get you for these reasons (the money more so than the looks, because who does not appreciate someone who is attracted to them...that is the basis of great mutually hot sex)...an emotionally astute male with money and looks will know exactly what you are after because he will of seen it many times....for instance, you might give me everything you can possibly give me sexually and then be shocked when I suddenly call you out and dump your vapid ***...that is what pla<x>yers do...I tend to read into that quickly and if you are hot..why would I turn you down for a few rolls in the hay..fair is fair?

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To a degree, I mean we all look for different things. I don't care if I have a lot money as long as I'm living comfortably, and I like being able to help people through their problems. So, I don't think that's an issue. And my version of attractive is vastly different than someone else's.

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People who are shallow are none of my business unless they are trying to talk to me. I am not perfect and I don't want to hear someone crying that I am not. That's why there is a FRIEND zone.

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bachelor parties aren't like you are going to talk to the ******** and find out she has an amazing personality.

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But it's still a representation of the ideal sexual partner. If your ideal sexual partner is not the person you're about to marry, then that means you're settling, does it not?

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I dont think its shallow to want beauty, success and stability in a person. Yes its an idealized view but we can say that of anything. 3D TV is amazing but what we really want is total immersion 4D smellovision with interactive storylines.

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Yeah, I think that people are pretending/deluding themselves and each other into thinking that these things aren't desired traits. If people had a choice between their perfect ideal romantic partner, and reality, I'm pretty sure most would pick the ideal. However, it is what it is, and people must learn how to accept/cope with it.

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I certainly never felt shallow in any sence, what everyone describe as shallow I never seem to have anything in common with anyway, with what they describe anyway. I always thought emotional problems are attractive tho, people who have had it rough usally have more character and personality. But true about marriage, these days people get married for so many silly reasons really.

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Well if reality shows that your ideal partner is unattainable, then I can see how people can have the urge/need to settle for someone.

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Well if reality shows that your ideal partner is unattainable, then I can see how people can have the urge/need to settle for someone.

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