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has no emotional problems? Isn't everything else just a compromise/settlling? It seems to me that a lot of marriages are much so (demonstrated by the ritual of bachelor/bachelorette parties. Why would you need that if you're completely happy with someone?).
Agonystick Agonystick 22-25, M 18 Answers Dec 17, 2012 in Romance & True Love

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Whats gonna happen when that persons looks fade or if they lose their money?

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Exactly! Shallow people can't comprehend that.

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Same thing that seems to be happening all the time. Infidelity/breakups and hunting for younger/richer prey. Or, by that time, you've already established such a relationship that you are so emotionally attached and will not care as much. But most of the time, it seems the former happens, or people are unsatisfied with their lives.

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I think my hubs is very nice to look at, probably more now then when I married him. He makes what he did 10 years ago and that's after making 40% less than what he had at one point. 15 years, 2 kids, lots of love and laughter. Always respect for each other but plenty of life ups and downs. Neither one of us is shallow and that's why we have a good marriage and are goofy-happy. And yes there's more jiggle in my wiggle but it makes me more curvy and less "eat a sandwich" skinny- and the only other person who sees it is a happy guy.

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Word! U are obviously a great wife and lover. That is a perfect attitude for sustaining happiness. I made boat loads of money, got fired more than once, inherited a ridiculous amount, and it seemed that my wife reacted to these episodes of fortune and misfortune no more than she reacts to changes in the weather and in hindsight I know that is the most you can ask for, in fact a guy should get on his knees and kiss your feet for having that disposition.

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Thanks :-)

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it is not wrong to be shallow, it is just shallow to be shallow.. personally, i cannot care less about my partner's looks or whether he is well off. my partner does not care about those things either (otherwise he wouldn't be with me).. there are more important things in life than appearances and material things.. in my opinion bachelor/bachelorette parties are silly and shallow.. but to each their own, i suppose..

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I think when your younger you have different priorities for sure all of those seem to be important and have a while you realize what really matters is happiness and just because someone has money and or looks hot doesn't mean they make you happy.

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Yes, I'm sure your priorities change, but isn't that because your options have changed too? When you are young, your are, for the most part, more attractive, and so can also attract people that are more attractive. Then, when you grow older, you cannot attract those people as much, and just hope to find someone that will be guaranteed stability. But if at that point, you had an option between a person with said qualities who was hotter/richer, and a person with said qualities that was not, the choice would be obvious I think.

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shallow is not always the true person get to know them and have some real two way conversation maybe there is more there that you believe have faith

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Men tend to be more shallow they all want blondes with huge boobs and most girls just do not fit that ideal.

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Interesting question. I think deep down I am a little shallow when it comes to guys. I am interested in personality over looks, but I do want some kind of attraction

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well, I do exploit these competetive advantages...but if you have those qualities as a male you tend to use the girl's that you sense are trying to get you for these reasons (the money more so than the looks, because who does not appreciate someone who is attracted to them...that is the basis of great mutually hot sex)...an emotionally astute male with money and looks will know exactly what you are after because he will of seen it many times....for instance, you might give me everything you can possibly give me sexually and then be shocked when I suddenly call you out and dump your vapid ***...that is what players do...I tend to read into that quickly and if you are hot..why would I turn you down for a few rolls in the hay..fair is fair?

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Before I answer this question, I want to know if you're a beautiful person or not. If you are, I'll answer it, but if not, then I don't really care about what you think.

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Why does it matter if I'm an attractive person or not? It's just a question about human nature. Are you saying that unattractive people are not/not supposed to want to have attractive partners (even if it's unrealistic)? At this point in my life, I am feeling pretty self-conscious about my appearance, but a couple years ago, I was pretty satisfied with my looks.

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I guess that's your answer. Anyways, there are more qualities than shapely hips and breasts. While I'll admit, I can be brought to my knees over it, there are also mental trains, wisdom, knowledge, grace, charm, and all sorts of other things. Women are good at nurturing, lovingness and so on, so I find that very attractive there. A persons face will also suffer age and women tend to gain weight when they have babies or reach their 40s. What choice do they have? Their bodies will fight tooth and nail to prepare for the tasks to come.
Since looks will not last, character is what you want. When those perky breasts sake and those eyes are now framed in wrinkles, and her hair turns white, that sexy women had better grown into a wise woman. If not, then who's to love her?

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What do you mean "I guess that's your answer"? I still don't know what your point was with asking me how attractive I am. Anyways, I concur, who is to love one when they lose their attractive traits? It seems not many people will, since there are so many cases of infidelity/divorce/cougars/players. Though, I can understand negating shallow things because of a history/emotional connection between partners.

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I thought I wrote something so pointedly shallow to illustrate my point.

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And that's exactly how much of society acts, do they not? They immediately judge you, and snub or accept you based on physical appearance and/or social stature.

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Oh, so while your question sounded cynical it was really a criticism of shallowness. Ad absurdum (sp?), yeah?

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It's a bit of both. And your use of sarcasm/implication just proves my point that people are shallow, despite claiming or promoting otherwise. By trying to debase my questions with your wit, you are just showing me that if people don't fit your ideal intelligence level, you will treat them like crap, which I believe is a form of shallowness. If you weren't such a shallow person, you'd just answer the questions with sincerity, instead of being hostile, and condescending.

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You should just let people be. You're taking control of the world. You can try, but you're just going to burn yourself out. If you want to get rid of shallowness in the world, you're going to have to do it the old fashioned way, the only way that will ever work. Demonstrate deepness in your life. The worst case scenario is you'll be happy with your life.

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Again more conjecture and implications. At least half of your answer was sincere. But please practice what you preach. Trying to make people feel bad about themselves for (perceiving them to) being less intelligent is just as shallow as snubbing them for not being physically attractive or rich. Intelligence has nothing to do with character, and often they do not coincide.

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You have serious insecurities. Don't put them on me. That will never help.

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I do have serious insecurities, I'll admit. But you trying to again put me down is not helping either. All I did was ask a question, to which I was seeking an honest answer, and you have just continued to try and debase me from the start, instead of giving a sincere answer. You talk of character, but show very little by continually trying to put yourself on a pedestal with witty and ad hominem remarks. Please humble yourself, as condescension and sarcasm rarely help anyone, especially when you think they may be less intelligent and more ignorant. You can't fight ignorance with hostility, as it will just create more hostility. And you cannot fight stupidity with sarcasm, as it will often be lost in translation, especially over the internet. If you wish to change people's views and knowledge of the world, the best way is honest discussion.

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To a degree, I mean we all look for different things. I don't care if I have a lot money as long as I'm living comfortably, and I like being able to help people through their problems. So, I don't think that's an issue. And my version of attractive is vastly different than someone else's.

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People who are shallow are none of my business unless they are trying to talk to me. I am not perfect and I don't want to hear someone crying that I am not. That's why there is a FRIEND zone.

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bachelor parties aren't like you are going to talk to the ******** and find out she has an amazing personality.

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But it's still a representation of the ideal sexual partner. If your ideal sexual partner is not the person you're about to marry, then that means you're settling, does it not?

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I dont think its shallow to want beauty, success and stability in a person. Yes its an idealized view but we can say that of anything. 3D TV is amazing but what we really want is total immersion 4D smellovision with interactive storylines.

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Yeah, I think that people are pretending/deluding themselves and each other into thinking that these things aren't desired traits. If people had a choice between their perfect ideal romantic partner, and reality, I'm pretty sure most would pick the ideal. However, it is what it is, and people must learn how to accept/cope with it.

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I certainly never felt shallow in any sence, what everyone describe as shallow I never seem to have anything in common with anyway, with what they describe anyway. I always thought emotional problems are attractive tho, people who have had it rough usally have more character and personality. But true about marriage, these days people get married for so many silly reasons really.

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Well if reality shows that your ideal partner is unattainable, then I can see how people can have the urge/need to settle for someone.

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Well if reality shows that your ideal partner is unattainable, then I can see how people can have the urge/need to settle for someone.

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