Is it wrong to change yourself to be with someone?
I've been with my boyfriend for a while now and ever since the beginning (this is my first relationship) I've been suppressing my true wants and feelings to make myself the perfect girlfriend in his eyes. Or does that just make me submissive? lol
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15 Answers to "Is it wrong to change yourself to be with someone?"
Posted by Wigglebottom May 2nd, 2012 at 9:26AM
You are ruining your entire life by doing this ! STOP IT NOW.
You will never be happy if you are always trying to be someone else.
You have to find someone who loves you for you and that means not changing your ways.
(Now this is also with reason, as somethings are not an issue)
If your boyfriend likes girls with shoulder length hair and you don't mind changing the length then that is fine.
But you don't change anything significant !
That would be anything that you would miss, or wish that you could be doing and are not because you are with him.
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Posted by BackUpLeela May 2nd, 2012 at 9:12AM
What you're doing is lying to him and yourself. Also, doing that for much longer is going to make you resent him, and you'll be very unhappy because you can't be yourself.
And about the changes: People change themselves in some way, everyday. If it's something you want to change about yourself, and your partner agrees, it's not a problem. But if you're changing ONLY for your partner, that is a problem.
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Reply by cutieee9087 May 2nd, 2012 at 9:13AM
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Reply by cutieee9087 May 2nd, 2012 at 9:15AM
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Posted by BlackroseVsWhiterose May 2nd, 2012 at 9:25AM
If They Can't Accept You As You Then They Don't Deserve You.But If You Are In Any Way Of Hurting Yourself,Others,Or Your Life Maybe There Is A Need For Change But Don't Change For Someone.Make That Change For You.
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Posted by musicbook May 2nd, 2012 at 9:14AM
You'll never find a person who is perfect for you unless you are your true and honest self.
If you pretend to be someone else, you'll always know that your partner is in love with someone who doesn't even exist. The real you... hiding inside... will go unloved.
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Posted by Babydoll42 May 2nd, 2012 at 9:13AM
Don't do that...you will hate yourself in the end....you need to be true to yourself, always.... it's a very lonely life, when you can't share it with yourself......
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Posted by BuckarooBonzai May 2nd, 2012 at 9:13AM
Personal changes should be towards making YOU a better person. In time ou make come to resent him if you do otherwise
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Posted by Justkeepwalking May 2nd, 2012 at 9:12AM
You may have already answered your own question.. Think about it..
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Posted by avibot May 2nd, 2012 at 9:11AM
you can change yourself but you can't change who you are
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Posted by jamesmethod May 2nd, 2012 at 9:11AM
Yes, not only that it's Pointless.The changes won't stick.sooner or later they will show themselves,and it will fall apart.
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Posted by singwme May 2nd, 2012 at 9:11AM
My boyfriend 'changed' until he moved in with me. He pretended to be a great guy, and the second he moved in, he showed his true colors. It's not fair to be deceptive like that.
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Reply by cutieee9087 May 2nd, 2012 at 9:12AM
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Posted by likeliness May 2nd, 2012 at 9:10AM
Over time if you suppress too much of your personality resentment will build. Be careful! minor adjustments and compromise is ok - that is what a relationship is about but you should not be suppressing who you are.
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Posted by Danielle94 May 2nd, 2012 at 9:09AM
YES, **** him and **** everybody else, if they don't like the way YOU truly feel act or your whole personality, and you have to be someone you're not so they like you, thats just bullshit and fake, no point in beating about the bush its true
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Posted by TrackyDaks May 2nd, 2012 at 9:09AM
Its called the honeymoon period of the relationship.
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Posted by akimana May 2nd, 2012 at 9:09AM
no its not wrong
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Posted by thehummingowl May 2nd, 2012 at 9:09AM
I think you should be honest and tell him because in the long run it will eat you alive. Simply put.
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