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Is it wrong to change yourself to be with someone?

I've been with my boyfriend for a while now and ever since the beginning (this is my first relationship) I've been suppressing my true wants and feelings to make myself the perfect girlfriend in his eyes. Or does that just make me submissive? lol

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15 Answers to "Is it wrong to change yourself to be with someone?"

  1. Wigglebottom - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by Wigglebottom May 2nd, 2012 at 9:26AM

    You are ruining your entire life by doing this ! STOP IT NOW.
    You will never be happy if you are always trying to be someone else.
    You have to find someone who loves you for you and that means not changing your ways.

    (Now this is also with reason, as somethings are not an issue)

    If your boyfriend likes girls with shoulder length hair and you don't mind changing the length then that is fine.

    But you don't change anything significant !

    That would be anything that you would miss, or wish that you could be doing and are not because you are with him.

    Like (2)

  2. BackUpLeela - 31-35 years old

    Posted by BackUpLeela May 2nd, 2012 at 9:12AM

    What you're doing is lying to him and yourself. Also, doing that for much longer is going to make you resent him, and you'll be very unhappy because you can't be yourself.

    And about the changes: People change themselves in some way, everyday. If it's something you want to change about yourself, and your partner agrees, it's not a problem. But if you're changing ONLY for your partner, that is a problem.

    Like (2)

  3. cutieee9087 - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by cutieee9087 May 2nd, 2012 at 9:13AM

    I don't think I'm lying to him since he knows I've been doing this and he hasn't stopped me

    Like (1)

  4. cutieee9087 - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by cutieee9087 May 2nd, 2012 at 9:15AM

    I'm only really changing for him.

    Like (1)

    1 more reply
  5. BlackroseVsWhiterose - 16-17 years old - female

    Posted by BlackroseVsWhiterose May 2nd, 2012 at 9:25AM

    If They Can't Accept You As You Then They Don't Deserve You.But If You Are In Any Way Of Hurting Yourself,Others,Or Your Life Maybe There Is A Need For Change But Don't Change For Someone.Make That Change For You.

    Like (1)

  6. musicbook - 56-60 years old - male

    Posted by musicbook May 2nd, 2012 at 9:14AM

    You'll never find a person who is perfect for you unless you are your true and honest self.

    If you pretend to be someone else, you'll always know that your partner is in love with someone who doesn't even exist. The real you... hiding inside... will go unloved.

    Like (1)

  7. Babydoll42 - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by Babydoll42 May 2nd, 2012 at 9:13AM

    Don't do that...you will hate yourself in the end....you need to be true to yourself, always.... it's a very lonely life, when you can't share it with yourself......

    Like (1)

  8. BuckarooBonzai - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by BuckarooBonzai May 2nd, 2012 at 9:13AM

    Personal changes should be towards making YOU a better person. In time ou make come to resent him if you do otherwise

    Like (1)

  9. Justkeepwalking - 36-40 years old - male

    Posted by Justkeepwalking May 2nd, 2012 at 9:12AM

    You may have already answered your own question.. Think about it..

    Like (1)

  10. avibot - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by avibot May 2nd, 2012 at 9:11AM

    you can change yourself but you can't change who you are

    Like (1)

  11. jamesmethod - 56-60 years old - male

    Posted by jamesmethod May 2nd, 2012 at 9:11AM

    Yes, not only that it's Pointless.The changes won't stick.sooner or later they will show themselves,and it will fall apart.

    Like (1)

  12. singwme - 56-60 years old - female

    Posted by singwme May 2nd, 2012 at 9:11AM

    My boyfriend 'changed' until he moved in with me. He pretended to be a great guy, and the second he moved in, he showed his true colors. It's not fair to be deceptive like that.

    Like (1)

  13. cutieee9087 - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by cutieee9087 May 2nd, 2012 at 9:12AM

    He knows I'm doing this though and hasn't stopped me.

    Like (1)

  14. likeliness - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by likeliness May 2nd, 2012 at 9:10AM

    Over time if you suppress too much of your personality resentment will build. Be careful! minor adjustments and compromise is ok - that is what a relationship is about but you should not be suppressing who you are.

    Like (1)

  15. Danielle94 - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by Danielle94 May 2nd, 2012 at 9:09AM

    YES, **** him and **** everybody else, if they don't like the way YOU truly feel act or your whole personality, and you have to be someone you're not so they like you, thats just bullshit and fake, no point in beating about the bush its true

    Like (1)

  16. TrackyDaks - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by TrackyDaks May 2nd, 2012 at 9:09AM

    Its called the honeymoon period of the relationship.

    Like (1)

  17. akimana - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by akimana May 2nd, 2012 at 9:09AM

    no its not wrong

    Like (1)

  18. thehummingowl - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by thehummingowl May 2nd, 2012 at 9:09AM

    I think you should be honest and tell him because in the long run it will eat you alive. Simply put.

    Like (1)

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