Is it wrong wanting to break up but not telling your partner?

I'm planning on breaking up with my gf in a few weeks (can't do it earlier for some reasons) but she's making it damn hard to plan because we live together and she keeps saying that we're forever. But I can't break up with her now because tomorrow her brother is coming for a visit and in 1 week her grandparents are coming and then me and her are off vacations for 2 weeks. The timing sucks. So, shall I tell her or not?

PS: Our relationship hasn't been perfect at all, lots of drama all the time and she's not respecting me really (ready my story about I need a little respect) And you will understand what i mean. So basically, i'm the one suffering and giving her a good time.

Posted 3 months ago

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SummerWind18

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

If I were you, I would wait for a time to be alone with her. Tell her...how about..."There's something important I've been meaning to talk to you about, but I haven't had the chance. First I need to know how good you are at accepting criticism, and can you listen kindly without judging me? You might not like what I'm going to say and I'm kind of nervous about telling you." If she says yes, then say, "I'm not happy in this relationship. I feel stressed out a lot and my mind and heart are feeling injured and like they want to get away, this is because our relationship is quite rocky and not very calm, and I have a hard time dealing with that. It's not the kind of relationship that I imagined having and I wish it wasn't that way. I feel like you are taking me for granted. I am always sacrificing my happiness for yours but it leaves me feeling empty and unappreciated. I feel sort of used.
I am not able to handle all of this and I hope you understand that when I'm not happy you aren't either and we deserve to be happier. I can't continue letting you think I am still in love when i no longer am...that would be cruel. So I will let you decide: we can break up now or I can give you another week to work on this, but you will need to really try hard to fix this. If I still feel the same way at the end of the week, I will break up with you. I'm sorry, but I care about your happiness and mine too, and I think this relationship is not good for me or for you and not good for your and my life."

Posted 3 months ago

Other 11 Answers to Is it wrong wanting to break up but not telling your partner?

iluvmypup	Posted Jul 26th, 2009 at 11:02AM why are you wasting her time and yours? If you don't want to be with her, break it off. It's better than faking it for the next few weeks. Just end it. Do not think you are doing her a favor by pretending to still be with her. Just dump her and get it over with. Let her move on and meet someone who might actually like her. Rated: +4Vote for this!
Jujalee	Posted Jul 26th, 2009 at 11:20AM break it off now. She will not only be hurt but embarrassed after spending time with family and her love. Spare the pain on both sides!! Rated: +2Vote for this!
Gemini15	Posted Jul 26th, 2009 at 10:36AM Just sit her down and explain to her that you're not feeling it anymore, and that you want to break it off. I'm sure if you tell her calmly and tell her you don't want to pretend any longer that this will work that she'll understand...or she could pick up the nearest Vase and throw it at you...just be ready to jump over the couch and head for the door ;) But jokes aside, just sit her down, explain it slowly, calmly...she should understand, you have nothing to worry about. Rated: +1Vote for this!
kendu	Posted Jul 26th, 2009 at 10:35AM you should tell her thats the least you can do. were you looking for a short term relationship?why do you want to break up with her over petty stuff?How do she treat you ? will you find a good woman faster after she gone?Why do you feel like you want to leave when its sounds all good? Rated: +1Vote for this!
TheGoldenBear	Posted Jul 26th, 2009 at 10:43AM Something will always come up. You need to pull the trigger at some point. Rated: +1Vote for this!
alexandra31	Posted Jul 26th, 2009 at 10:40AM Oddly enough, I can't tell you what would be better. I just think that if you are absolutely resolved on breaking up with her (poor girl, I mean her family likes her well enough to visit her), then maybe you shouldn't put it off any longer. At least she won't be alone - her brother will be around during the real crappy part. I sure as hell hope someone else here at EP will answer this question. Strange because earlier today I just thought about one of my ex-boyfriend's breakups. I'm afraid either way, it will suck. I'm not sure putting it off for another month is really the best or not. Sorry. Good luck to both of you. Rated: +1Vote for this!
shoeless	Posted Jul 26th, 2009 at 11:09AM Yes, it is definately wrong to break up with someone and not tell them. If you hade the courage to ask them out,dated for awhile and want to end things for whatever reason that's fine HAVE THE COURAGE TO TELL THEM FACE TO FACE. Breaking up is hard enough as it is (I've been there,@ as painful as it is it would be a lot worse if you did it by phone or letter. Rated: +1Vote for this!
OMGMeToo	Posted Jul 26th, 2009 at 11:12AM ....the other party will always assume that it's "living" ...until YOU give it closure. Big word, though only seven letters: Closure. Rated: +1Vote for this!
trixiegirl	Posted Jul 26th, 2009 at 11:17AM Yes- you need to tell her Now, not in 2 or 4 weeks. There never will be a convenient time, so just get it over with. She needs to know that you are not thinking of forever with her. Who knows what thoughts she has going on inside her head. Let her in on your secret NOW. She deserves that much, so she can move on and find someone who wants to plan forever with her. Rated: +1Vote for this!
AshMeadow	Posted Jul 26th, 2009 at 11:52AM Stop being chicken **** and just do it so she can move on. Rated: +1Vote for this!
porkchopsandwich	Posted Jul 26th, 2009 at 2:36PM Grow a pair and do it. Rated: +1Vote for this!

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