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My "boyfriend" (quotations, because he broke up with me, but we still love each other and are trying to make it work, long distance now...) talks sweet and romantic to me, tells me how much he loves me and misses me. We both apologize for past mistakes, pouring our heart and soul out to each other, wanting to make our broken relationship work, but then I find out *ahem* in a round about way, that he talks trash about me behind my back. He tells other girls things about me that aren't true, he makes things up, or alters the story so that he comes out ahead as the good guy, and I'm made out to be the evil girlfriend. It hurts so bad reading and hearing about this kind of stuff. Is he just venting because he is upset and can't let it go? Or is he two faced and I need to get out and move on? Whats going on?
MystifedPearl MystifedPearl 26-30, F 11 Answers Aug 9, 2012 in Broken Hearts & Betrayal

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Sounds like he is trying to get sympathy from these girls. Is it just girls he talks too? And how are you coming by this information anyway? How do you know whoever told you doesn't have an ulterior motive?

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Yes, just girls. And I know this because once in awhile, I'll check his page and find messages to and from girls. He gave me his passwords, he tells me all the time he would never write anything to anyone, that he wouldn't be okay with me reading (which doesn't make sense, unless he's forgotten and he speaks his mind or heart now...)

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Well, from my 49 year old point of view, I don't think you trust him anyway. I would check my boyfriends pages too. It is hard to move on, but you might have too.

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I would think that if he was just venting, he would be talking about actual events because he wants to let out some steam. That doesn't sound like venting. Plus if you guys already cleared the air and are trying to get back together, why would he need to vent?<br />
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I would confront him about it. Never take a serious accusation 2nd hand.

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I tried confronting him yesterday, via phone, and he just told me how much he loves me, how badly he wants us to work, etc. He said that he worries about me finding someone new, etc. But seriously, if thats the case, why am I being painted out to be the bad one here when we both had our problems?

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People love to dodge responsibility. Did he seriously not answer any of your questions about the implications?

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He denied talking to anyone about our problems. He lied straight to my face. He likes to point fingers, he tends to blame a lot on me...why does the abused love their abuser so much?

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I'm so sorry. The abused love their abusers... You are a good person willing to give someone, anyone many chances to change. There is nothing wrong with you because you love your abuser. It just shows how forgiving a heart you have. The problem is his and if you feel that he is truly an abuser. Don't stay with him. There are many other people in the world who will not take advantage or under appreciate their mate.

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Move Along, Move along.

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sounds exhaustin

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Move on kid, move on.

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There is only one real face. The other is a fake. And it's up to you to decide which.

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