Not if its the kind of touching Freud used to do

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What kind of therapist are you seeing?

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A regular therapist who also deals with sexually abused.

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Then NO.........That is the last thing they should be doing!

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No, it is not. And if they suggest, they should suggest you bring someone you are familiar miliar with. Never do anything that feels uncomfortable. I have visited several therapist, and that is not the norm. Maybe in a group setting but that would be it.

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As a psychology major, intention to be a counselor, let me tell you what happens on their end. <br />
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They are to do nothing that a patient is uncomfortable with. In the therapist-client relationship, they are not to overstep personal bounds, because they are to remain a professional, not a friend. If they are doing something that they shouldn't be, they would receive major retribution from a superior, as you have a life in your hands- it's a serious responsibility, not to overstep bounds!<br />
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So, in your case, I do not believe it is appropriate at all. If you are uncomfortable with anything, or feel yourself getting closer to them than you think is normal, make sure to tell them!

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The thing is that I really dont know. I have seen therapists before him and went no where. Here, I was able to open up and since I was scared of touched. Was touched to be desensitized at first, especially from a guy because that was what I was more scared of and then it went to more (sometimes) holding on to me to help me let out more. Is it wrong on my part to need his touch in order to heal?

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It was never sexual touch and I would not let it. I just want to know if this is a step up or down in my healing.

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To need this specific therapist's touch? It all depends.
It is very important to trust your therapist, so I understand that this may be something that you are comfortable with- they'll helping you with something very important after all! You should always trust those who heal you, and you should be able to.
I have read stories on the issue before- here is the main issue they seem to have with it. When you touch someone in any way that you would a close friend or family member, you establish an emotional connection with them. Having an emotional connection with the therapist themselves, as a friend to them, can interfere with any bias and healing. It is against the patient's well-being to do so. Everything they do, they do it with purpose- but it is important that they do not cause other problems, or make their work more ineffective by introducing bias to you!
They need to look to you as a respected person, as a client, but the second other thoughts are allowed to connect, it is harder for them to do their work effectively.
There is a similar issue with social workers, and it's a very delicate issue- with human touch, a lot of emotions are evolved, and if things were to even go wrong, you could end up afraid of your therapist.
What I suggest, what would normally be done, would be to bring a family member of friend in to help, for emotional support and healing.

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or friend*

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The problem is that I was never comfortable with anyone touching me. I knew the therapist before as someone in the community. For some reason, i have always felt that i cant let anyone know my internal feelings. It was a miracle that I opened up to him. He was there for my emotional support and desensitation to touch. I dont know what to do becasue I am in a weird situation. I still am a bit hesitant for my husbands touch and...(my husband knows nothing about my past-abuse and all)but i crave it from the therapist and need to release more. I want to help myself and scared to mess things up with this.

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That's a very confusing situation you've been put in.
Usually, in the social sciences, when a professional has known someone, they will automatically be paired with a different therapist, for the reasons I have mentioned above. The goal, you must understand, is NOT to be desensitized to him- it is to be desensitized to all men, and you can't do that by touching them. The fear is something that has to be worked on, but rarely are sexual abuse victims healed through this kind of therapy.
By the way you talk, it seems as if you are frightened by all men but your therapist. You do not want to become dependent on any one man. That is counterproductive to healing. What you need is the thoughts of men to change direction from fear, to find where that breaking point was and repair it.
I understand that you trust him, and that it is a big step to be able to have him touch you and have nothing happen. But he is Not the one who this is supposed to happen with. To be able to touch your husband, your relatives and friends, THIS is the goal. He should Not be the positive stimulus that you need for pleasant associations to men.
I know this is very difficult for you, but right now you have to think about which is better for you- remember that short term happiness is often not a need, but a want. Long term happiness is what we need, not what we crave, and it will make us happier by far!

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i never had a shoulder that I felt comfortable to cry on but his. I am not ready to open up to my family and husband yet. They will be shocked and its too much for me to go over to them and ask for a hug or tell them whats going on. Are you saying that this relationship I have with my therapist is not a good one and that I should find another one-maybe even a woman-even though I have not had great experiences with woman therapists, to 'teach' me how to be able to be touched... how to have a normal physical relationship with my husband and so on. It is also so so so hard to start with a new person and to find one, What do you suggest? Right now, he is the only person in the world I feel comfortable opening up to and crying to. He would never touch me sexually (or in uncomfortable places..)

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I do suggest that you find another therapist, Or to question your current therapist. If you feel you would offend him by raising question, then that is a further sign that the closeness you feel for him will interfere with actual healing.
That's my opinion though, I suggest you ask many people about this and come to your own conclusion! It happens a lot of people out there.

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Thanks so much for your advice.

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You're welcome. Good luck, you'll find what's right for you.

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7 More Responses

I say no, certainly not for "healing " a sexually abused woman.

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Ah... No.

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