Is the SEX only thing left in a marriage?

If the only point where you (excuse the pun) come together,is for sex, then it isnt a marriage, much less a relationship, its a mexican stand off. and you would be better off paying for it cash, rather than with chunks of your dignity, as you give up on your principles to assauge your needs.

I was brought up to believe that sex is like cement, but it works best when used as an adjunct to building blocks, set on a firm and level foundation.
It can bond the blocks together, making you as a loving and lovemaking couple, resistant to the storms of life.

A good marriage can exist without sex, If you still continue to make and sustain love, just not sexually, its just that the cracks need watching more carefully lest the blocks drift apart and the building crumbles, unable to weather the storm.

A bad marriage cannot exist on sex alone.

People get married for a number of reasons. The real answer is to be sure you are marrying someone who is on the same page with you when it comes to the important things. One of these important things is sex. If you are not a sexual person and you know this, it is probably not wise to marry someone who you know has a great appreciation and drive for sex. These things do not "work themselves out." They create tension, unhappiness, resentment, and eventual misery.

Sex is only part of a marriage, but if both partners are not happy with the way things are in the bedroom it can become the whole marriage.

Denying your partner sex or using sex as a form of control and a tool for manipulation is one of the cruelest things you can do to the one you are supposed to love the most.

Do not judge someone for leaving a sexless marriage. You must walk that path to understand what a lack of intimacy and physical affection can do to a person. It is not strictly an issue of lust--sex in a marriage (along with all touching) is what builds intimacy. In my opinion, if you do not have that you do not have a marriage. Not one I'd stay in, anyway.

When I get married (fingers crossed next year) I will be marrying my man because I could not bear to live without him. He has left a long sexless marriage to an otherwise good partner to be with me. Never having been married before, I can't imagine what it would be like to be sleeping each night next to a man who didn't want to touch me, or reject me when I tried to touch him.

In learning about sexless marriages over the last 9 months I've read something similiar to what someone said above.

When the marriage is good, sex only makes up 40% of the relationship. When sex is removed from the marriage, the lack of it becomes 80% of the relationship.

So sex is not the only thing left in a marriage, but the LACK of it can mean there is very little left in the marriage.

Let me tell you, from my marital stand point, SEX was the first to go, the only left at this point are the bills and our kids.

Sex went first, then communication, now all that is left is my treasured kids, morgage and a stranger that I live with. No sex is not all there is in a marriage but it seems that with mine once the sex was gone everything else disappeared too...

Lol CrosseyedMary! That is what my dad said to my husband when we first got engaged to get us to marry sooner than later.


Eventually the sex organs on a man and woman don't work like they use to, so you definitely will need a good friendship. When you have kids you need a supporter, a relationship in which two people need to work together. And when the kids grow up and move out you'll need companionship. And of course through all the years couples spend together you need that person you can argue with to keep you in check with your faults and the confidence that person loves you despite your imperfections.

Your young and you sound like u are on your way to defining what is important to you in a relationship. Good luck....

Sex is not my #1 thing in my marriage. It's good and all, but its about true love and all that happy stuff. I also agree with asiamtoday.

When you are with the right person, although sex may ebb and flow due to life, you remain in love and in lust for your partner. There is a very emotional side to sex, for both a man and a woman, and the health of a relationship can often be gauged by the sex life. If your sex life runs dry then you are not with the right person.

But sex is not the only thing in a good marriage. If you are with the right person, the conversations don't run dry, the affection does not run dry, the laughter does not run dry. And most importantly, if you are in the right relationship the communication is strong and healthy. That means, when either of you are having a problem with anything, including each other, you can talk about it without it turning into a fight and work out a good solution. Marriage is only a beautiful thing when you find the right person. Please, because of your faith or any other purpose, do not rush into marriage simply to experience sex. Take your time and find out what you want and need in a partner. And when you've found that you just kissed a toad, move on. You can never get to Mr. Right if you won't leave Mr. Toad.

Sometimes sex is the ONLY thing missing in a marriage.
I think one of the most popular experiences on EP is called "I live in a sexless marriage"

If you do not have sex in a marriage, you do not have a marriage. You have another kind of relationship - good friends, room mates, whatever. Without sex, true intimacy is missing. You can love someone and be very close friends with them - but in a marriage, sex is the glue that keeps you together because it is the ultimate act of connection.

When you marry someone, you enter into a contrasct that you will be mutually exclusive and you will meet each other's needs - if you don't intend or cannot do this, then you should not be marrying the person.

A very true saying is that sex is only 10% of a good marriage, but where sex is absent, it becomes 90% of the marriage . . .