Pick one, otherwise you'll lose both. I recommend the single guy. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

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Mmmm, but maybe she would have more in common with the cheater? :/

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... yaaa, you got a good point there.

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Quite right Whatizmu :-)

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Yes I agree with you both. single guy was a bit of fun for the pair of us now its a mess.

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It’s a mess, a total mess. I’d say get out now from *both* relationships. You aren’t in one and being tempted by another, you are in *two* relationships. You said <I>“I have been running these two guys really well</I>; apparently, not well enough because of the mess you find yourself in.<br />
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There is absolutely *no* guarantee that there is going to be a happy ending no matter what you do here. It’s an emotionally tangled web, to say the least, and I’d say that you get out of both and not even give this a chance to possibly find yourself in a worse place than you are now. You hold feelings for <b>both of them</b> and have to (somehow) settle for one. How can you get this to work?<br />
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However or whatever, in hindsight this should never happened;. I’m sure that’s the way you feel, so it's a case of how best to move forwards. I don't see a 'best way' but you have other advice to consider here.<br />
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~F~

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Seems like a whole lot of cheating going on. I dont' think any of this is good. Someones going to get hurt. You risk loosing both men. If you are in love you can only have one partner.

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Oh! what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive!<br />
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I doubt that you would want your husband cheating with another women, yet you cheated with a MM. I doubt you would want your bf to lie about being exclusive, yet you lied about it. You can't have both, you have lied to both. The single guy acted honorably and responsibly. The married man lied and cheated. Take the MM, you and he have more in common.

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As it sounds you broke up someone's marriage then you'd better stick with him I guess.

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In fairness I had been with him 6 months before I knew he was married by then we knew we could not go our seperate ways. the damage was done by him without me knowing.

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you really dated a guy for 6 month and didnt know he was married?

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Were you also unaware that you were seeing a married man while also deceiving the single fellow? Let's not pretend we stumbled into this situation, shall we? You made choices, and here you are. I think the kindest thing you could possibly do is follow Moon Blower's advice and get yourself sorted out.

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Yep uk cop. Shift work and all that, me working building up a buisness time getting together when we could.

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It's going to be difficult, heartbreakingand messy, but I'll agree with people who have said before, "let go of both". Give time for yourself, find yourself more before you get into a relationship again. <br />
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About MM being the best qualities guy n all : See what Etiennealt says before : perceptions of a relationship can alter radically over time. Thats a million dollar statement, really.

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Im confused. What does MM mean?

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Married Man

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What you really need to do is step back from both for a while, but you won't. For too long you have arranged your life around MM. Now that he's left w- You feel obligated. If you want to follow you heart, it has to have a slear direction. Do no allow MM to move it. Date both of them infrequently. Let both know you are not committed to anyone. You really have to connect with yourself before you can commit to anyone else. Godspeed

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Thank you for some understanding.

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Him moving in so quickly is going to put so much pressure on you youre apt to explode

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I have wanted this for so long now its on its way I am getting cold feet. I didnt know how I felt about the single guy until i sat down to call him to meet me to call everything off. on top of everything my son has decided to move back to our hometown. I cannot go back as I am contracted to my company for another year. I think duvet over head is due

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I think thinking about you alone is due

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you said it yourelf it is a mess, you are already upset and confused. you carnt have it all, and if you choose to keep them both and play it out, it will end in tears for all of you. count your blessings that you had choice. good luck

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Honestly, I would let them both go and focus on yourself. It may be a very hard thing to do but it sounds like you could use a little TLC. <br />
That whole situation sounds like a big stressful mess and you don't have to go through it. Its completely up to you and your decision. I will respect whatever decision you make. <br />
If I were in your shoes, I would bag those pumps and go shopping for something new, just for yourself!

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Were you also unaware that you were seeing a married man while also deceiving the single fellow? Let's not pretend we stumbled into this situation, shall we? You made choices, and here you are. I think the kindest thing you could possibly do is follow Moon Flower's advice and get yourself sorted out.

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In fact I found out he was married in June and met Single Guy in June. I was hurt and single guy helped me get over it. I knew I was playing one against the other in June yes I am everything you think of me. I am not proud that I am hurting people.

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I knew he was married in June yes I met Paul in June. at that point I was hurt and told Paul about the siutuation. we agrred it was just fun, he didnt want a relationship at that time and I didnt either. I went back to MM but Paul was Paul

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Sounds like you want the MM more than the single guy. If you can't have both, commit to the guy you want the most and feel fortunate that you had a choice.

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Thats the problem, two totally different guys. Single guy is gentle romantic, make me feel good. MM is totally different both have qualities I love

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I have to agree with the general sentiment: the MM is a cheater, and its just a matter of time before he cheats on you. The single guy at least starts from a place of integrity. But there is no accounting for the heart. No matter which decision you make, two people are going to hurt.

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Why not drop them both and find a guy that has all the qualities you like and obviously deserve. We all deserve some aspect of happiness in life. The current situation will bring you heartache at best. It is time for you to find out what you really want and then ask for it. Dream up your picture perfect guy and allow him to come you when your ready...

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The problem is moonflower the MM is just what I have always wanted pls forget he was/is taken. I would have ran away had I knew he was married and I would have run in June BUT he was what I always wanted.

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You always wanted a man that could not keep a commitment? Think deeply into that one. I don't mean to sound judgmental, but really think about that one. He has proven he always has his eye open for something better. You better be the best there is.

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