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Meatball90 Meatball90 22-25, F 5 Answers Jan 16 in Dating & Relationships

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Just don't forget to run to the door when opportunity knocks!

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I don't know.. It's not easy being alone

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I'm confused. Do you live in the north pole, praying that a man drops out of the sky? Pray and tie up your camel. Pray and go out and meet people. Expecting God to actually forcemarch the man to your front door is a little pretentious, don't you think?

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Everything is wrong with that. I tried the prayer thing but it didn't help. I had to get out of the home, talk to a thousand ladies, slept with a hundred until I found the one I'd want to marry. No gods involved (except the goddess I married).

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That's great advice if you are giving it to a young man.......

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He's 23. That's young. I started my journey at 20, lost my virginity at 21 and married at 26.

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I believe it is a she you are advising....

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Doesn't matter. Just inverse the genders and be done with it. Same advice.

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I do not think it is....I would be more inclined to dating someone with a good moral fiber over someone who talks to every guy she can and has slept with 100 men .... think about what you are saying...... you read a book and think you can give good advice from learning to be a PUA?

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Define "good moral fiber". My wife has also seen triple digit amount of men and I enjoy that every time we hit the sheets. She has the experience to keep me satisfied for years to come. I wouldn't have married a virgin, that's a morally despicable position in my belief because it sets you up for divorce. That's a horrible starting point for a marriage.

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and that is where the shift lies......your morality is defined by the type of person you are and the core values you uphold in your heart.....because you chose to go down a certain path you found the epitome of what you were looking for and morally that is good for you.....

What we have to remember is that we are not looking at our core values rather the authors core values and based on that we try to advise in the most positive manner.....

Honestly if either of us were smart enough we would have suggested if you praying go to church.....core values baby.... that were she could get your game on......


P.S.
your thoughts on virgin marriages only proves my point, we look for what our core values define as morally good or acceptable

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I strongly believe that sexual compatibility is a cornerstone for a succesful marriage. As a virgin bride, she's making a huge gamble where the odds are 10 to 1 she's not going to be happy. I'm realistic and I've seen too many relationships fail over sexual incompatibility to even remotely believe that marrying as a virgin is a good idea. Once she's had a few experiences, she'll be much better equipped to find a man she can be happy with.

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Again we are taking it back to your core values its not about you or me.... I think you let the game get a little too far into your head (10 to 1 is not a factual ratio and if so please cite your source i am curious)..... I agree it is important to have an understanding of your sexual identity, but we live in an age that a virgin marriage is unlikely and even if it does become the case it is the responsibility of the parties involved to understand that in order to fill that vacuum in one aspect of their life it will require communication and trust but that goes into another topic of growth and spirituality within a relationship.

"Is there anything wrong with waiting on love alone just you and prayer?"
if you want to help advise someone in the best way why don't you tailor your advice to them and guide them, rather than express an ideology that may have no connection with them what so ever?

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You seem to believe I adhere to some kind of ideology but it's rather the contrary. I try to stay with the facts. If a person (m/f) wants a good and fulfilling marriage, he or she should try to find out what that means. It heavily implies experimentation. Being a good partner is extremely difficult and usually doesn't work the first time or even the second and third time. The question asker should find out what her sexual identity is before she marries. That goes for everyone. If she can find that out without breaking her hymen, fine, but she's still making a gamble. My core values are based on reason, not any form of faith. My intelligence tells me that marriage is difficult and may require a bit of practice. I'm married and trust me, it's not easy. I'm very happy I learned a thing or two from my exes. If you believe you can make it the first time, be my guest, prove me wrong.

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The pattern you are showing complies with a certain school of thought.....I am not saying it is wrong by any means in fact it is a great method of trial and error...but the fact of the matter is that not everyone's struggle is the same and not everyone's core values are the same, you have to realize much of you journey was based off of your struggle and what you defined as important and those values changed over time .....you say heavy experimentation, I say introspection mixed with experimentation........by the way my parents are that 10 to 1 virgin marriage and still manage to have a youthful relationship after 30 years for some odd reason.....

the core value of reason that you do express is based off of the notion that sexual activity breads a healthy sexual identity prior to a relationship which is fair to say but your are failing to look at the other side of the fence so your reason is subjective to your perspective.....just food for thought my friend....if you would like to discuss this matter further just send me a message I would enjoy a healthy debate

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My mother was a virgin but my father wasn't. Clearly he was willing to give her a satisfying love life, whatever that means, since they've had their silver anniversary recently. I know it's possible but it's not rational. Not many people stay with their first sex partner for life and that's for good reason.

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