Is this stepping over the line, or am I over-thinking it?
You might think this is a stupid question, but your advice would really help me!
If we're working late, I'll give out chocolate frogs to my colleagues. We're all in a position of equal 'power' - no one is more senior than anyone else in terms of their position or job title, just in experience. I am the newest member of staff and have been there for around 8 months.
Anyway, there's a colleague of mine who I have a bit of a "crush" on. He's married, so I try not to flirt with him or anything like that, but we are usually on friendly terms.
Anyway, it's his birthday soon - would it be 'weird' if I gave him a bigger chocolate frog than usual? You can't get them in the usual packets, so he'd probably be able to tell that I'd gone to some extra effort to get it (not that it's that hard to get!) He hasn't told me that it's his birthday - another colleague mentioned it. I'm just doing it to be nice.
Would it be weird? Do you think he'd read too much into it? Or am I over-thinking
12 Answers to "Is this stepping over the line, or am I over-thinking it?"
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the chocolate frogs are not the problem,but i can guarentee that your crush will be.
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I know, I know. I'm not going to act on it, don't worry.
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You're singling him out from the others. But only a little bit. Legally, if he finds it uncomfortable, then it's harrassment, if he doesn't then it's not. These things are very subjective. Send me the big frog instead. I won't mind :o)
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Good point, I guess it might be singling him out a bit. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't make him uncomfortable, but I'm wary of him reading too much into it.
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just get it. its his bday
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Why give him a bigger chocolate frong now when his birthday is soon after, that would identify him as someone special, unless at the time of giving it you mention why he gets a bigger one. then you need to be careful that when it's other colleagues birthdays, then you buy something for them as well.
Better to avoid attention and give him the normal size that all get.Like (1)
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chocolate frogs?
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Yes, these: http://www.cadbury.com.au/Products/Pre-teens-Confectionery/Freddo.aspx
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if you're not intending any further with this man then don't do anything overly special for him. if you're constantly giving everyone chocolates then i don't see the harm in giving him a slightly larger one for his birthday but then, if you really want to control your folly even further, make the effort to do the same for each staff member including the boss on their birthdays. good luck.
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hes married i wouldn't interfere just give the usual frog and look for somebody else.
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its his birthday. friends give each other things on birthdays so if you do he'll probably just see you as being a thoughtful friend, it wont be weird. but since he's married i would try to get rid of the whole crush thing.
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Well, to be honest, I wouldn't call us 'friends' (he's about 20 years older than me), but we get on well at work and occasionally have friend-like chats in the staff-room. I know, I'm working on getting rid of the crush. I have no intention of it going any further.
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well actually, if it was me and i was giving everybody something anyway id probably feel like i should give the person whos birthday is on that day something more than the others, regardless if hes your crush or not.. just because its his birthday lol, so really i dont think its a big deal if you give him a big one or not. :) he better not take the day off for his birthday though haha
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It's his birthday so it's no harm unless he knows your into him and he finds it uncomfortable :-)
Make sure you don't give him signals tho because there's too many people to get hurt!Like (1)
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Don't worry, I'm well aware of what could happen. I'm trying very hard not to be obvious about how I feel. I guess I just try to be nice to everyone - some people say that men interpret that niceness differently to women.
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I think they do, but as long as your the same with everyone it should be OK :-) I've felt the same as you and it's not a nice feeling, but good for you not acting on it! :-)
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If you are willing to do the special thing for all of them on birthdays, no problem. if not, big problem. One can read a lot in a few grams of chock
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Good point. I haven't done it for anyone else for their birthdays, but he wouldn't know that. Also, no-one else would know that he's the only one getting a bigger frog. But would the 'extra effort' look too obvious?
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I would notice if I get special treatment, and I would wonder why. And I will ten to one draw to my own conclution
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Go for it x
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Best Answer (Chosen By Asker):
Posted by rodrwill1 1 Mar 19th, 2012 at 5:14AM
He will probably recognize the effort you put in to give him a special one, but I highly doubt he'd interpret it as "she wants me."
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Reply by joker46 Mar 20th, 2012 at 3:58AM
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Reply by rodrwill1 Mar 20th, 2012 at 4:03AM
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