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I'm not into bondage or sadism or anything like that. But since I was young I have felt the need to be hit by someone else, especially when I do something wrong. I want to be put in my place, told what do to, and I want to be hurt physically. My sister says the reason is because of our mom (who was in an abusive relationship with my dad) but I only remember bits and pieces of their marriage so I can't see how that would effect me. Shouldn't it make me hate men and/or dating in general anyway? I'm not sure and I'm so confused by this.
TheRelapseDevil TheRelapseDevil 18-21, F 12 Answers Feb 11, 2013 in Dating & Relationships

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That's just a sign of low self esteem

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Uhh... Someone's a bit of a Masochist. Uhm.

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You sound uncomfortable with this topic...sorry. But yeah, I am somewhat of a masochist. I feel like I need physical pain.

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I'm not uncomfortable. I was just saying.

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Why won't you stop stalking every single one of my answers?! Like... Shut the fú´ck up elisa. I'm not even answering to your crap. -.- Annoying, obsessed btch.

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Well, you're acting like a total stalker. Unless you intend to be not annoying, then go ahead and answer my stuff, if not just shut up, unless you enjoy being cursed out. -.-"

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Riiiight...

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What you want - a little bit of beating - does not sound like something to worry about unless it grows with time and becomes something more. Just have to be careful about who you share it with in real life - masochism can invite predators easily.



If you feel guilty about being beaten - that's probably where things might start getting twisted. It's better to want whatever you want shamelessly rather than shamefully. For example, many girls love a mild spanking. No big deal.



About why you want it - it's another matter. The theory is that young ones who experienced abuse end up subconsciously seeking the same. The reason? That abuse was their first association with love.

But they know that it is shameful, so the net result is that it gets buried under the surface; but keeps subtly making signals that attract a similar person.



If you find yourself quite steady and normal in general, I would suggest forget the rest and accept your kink. That will allow you to find ways to keep it safe and uncontrolled.

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Thank you for helping me understand it a little more, and for not judging harshfully. Means a lot.

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You are welcome ... and the last word was supposed to be "controlled", not "uncontrolled"

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as long as it's not someone else's bf/gf, no.

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An adult person doesn't need someone to punish them, put them in their place. An adult person can make good choices by themselves. When you're a mother, your children need an adult, a person who has the maturity to look after them.

You have some feelings inside you, maybe guilt, that are behind these feelings.

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I played spot the brain cell with deathbydesign and couldn't find any.

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you should do something about it.. its not good for you :/

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What do you mean? Like therapy?

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yeh maybe? find out why and what you can do instead?

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Yeah, maybe I'll look into that. Thanks.

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anytime :)

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