Is writting questions on a piece of paper asking my father reasons and beliefs he had when he was harming me?
Basically... I want to tell him how he has hurt me over the years without... um... yelling at him. His mental health, ironically, isn't stable. Yet, for a while he was doing what I was doing, which he was yelling at me for... *sigh* I want to start with his ultimatum: 'I know what you are doing. I know wat you are thinking. Everything about your situation is your fault. You put yourself in your position no one else did. Your mother wants to coddle you. No more! You will go back to college, get a job, or move out of the house and do so by February.' I'll start with one part of it at a time... I'm doing something he never has... asking questions to gain knowlege, not asking questions to see if I am lying... he makes assuptions and anything contrary to them is a lie. Fun?
To clarify, this is a way to open communication with my father because I need to release the supressed emotions that I have... mostly anger. The problem is, I become self destructive when angry. I turn the anger towards myself. I figure, giving the pieces of paper to my father, for him to clarify what in the world he was thinking at the time. So I can, eventually, express my feelings, had a discussion about that in group therapy yesterday, to him. Since the anger I have because of him needs to be directed at the cause of the anger instead of myself.