Resolved Question

We are high school classmates. I got attracted the first time I saw him; I thought it was just a simple crush but as the time goes by, I am falling in love. We have common circle of friends, but I am avoiding him though he is trying his best to make a conversation with me. He was the heartthrob of our campus. Everybody liked him. He is stunning among the boys in our school. He really captivated me. If I will base through his actions I can say that he likes me, but I have not heard a word from him coz I am always avoiding him. I have much insecurity. I told myself every time, that he does not like me, impossible, I am dreaming though it was obvious by his actions. A heartthrob, handsome, intelligent, how could he like a girl like me? I was 15 then and now I am 26. That naive girl now is a smart lady, no insecurities, and full of confidence (but stupid for the one she love), ready to tell him everything and yes I did. To my dismay, he just replied I have a girlfriend. I cannot explain the pain that time, I accepted that he has a girlfriend but what I want to hear he loves his girlfriend. He did not tell me. I hate it, because my heart is hoping that one day he will tell me he still love me. I cannot get rid of him in my life, even though all I received from him is rejection. The hard thing is he is not telling anything. I want him to tell me that he loves her girlfriend, to slap on my face that he does not like me. He cannot love me. He kept being silent and it sucks. I have been in a relationship but still he is haunting me. I cannot love them the way I love him. I am confused if this is love or just infatuation or obsession. That is why guys please open up my mind; I really need to be enlightened. I will appreciate your answers. Thanks ahead and God Bless!

The men I know are surprisingly clear...
and the women I know (including myself) so often don't want to hear what they have to say.

Dainel, he didn't reciprocate when you told him your feelings finally. He told you he had a girlfriend. An easy out, but the statement is still an escape hatch. If he returned your feelings after all this time, he would have said so.

Even if he said, "This is not the right time, I have a girlfriend," he could have said, "but I always cared for you, too." But he didn't. He didn't leave you hope and string you along, which is a good thing.

It is not for you to hear he loves his girlfriend. I think it is really hard, but you have to pay attention to the fact that he is not saying he wants you.

You are a confident, smart lady (by your own admission! Good for you!!!). You deserve someone who can appreciate all that you have to offer.

Like Chances said, sometimes the "idea" of someone is what we hold on to-- and without really knowing someone through and through, we attribute some pretty awesome things to them. This man is not the one for you right now. If later, something happens, his feelings would need to have changed-- which you can't do for him.

Good luck.