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Kitilda Kitilda 46-50, F 10 Answers Aug 17 in Dating & Relationships

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Maybe he has no patience for that in you. Maybe he thinks you should be happy or easy to get along with all the time, and so he blames you for being down. I can only make guesses though. There's quite a bit to that sort of dynamic.

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^^ I was thinking that. Which would be sorta rude of him. Have you asked him that?

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That sounds right

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Yes and he turns it around saying you are picking a fight with me?!!

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Hmm. What is it that you doing just before he says something like that? Do you snipe at him when you are depressed? Are you withdrawn and quiet? How does it "look"?

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I am quiet on phone and my voice sounds depressed. It only happens once a month or every couple months

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It could be that he feels bad when you do, and he does not know how to handle it. Or that he thinks talking to him should be able to cheer you up. Ever interacted with a friend who was down and you didn't understand why? It can be a frustrating experience. I'm not saying that he isn't being unfair, or even that this is what's happening, but it's a possibility. It could be that the best thing to do would be to give him a "heads up" when you are down and tell him how to handle it when you are. Tell him what you want him to do, or even tell him that it's best that he leaves you alone for a while.

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He also kept saying that is not why you called when I was trying to be cheery by asking him questions changing subject after I called because u was upset about something

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It sounds like he is not handling it well, and he suspects you aren't honest with him. I would put off the wedding until that had been ironed out.

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5 More Responses

It unfortunately means you should rethink marriage plans... 😒

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It means you should consider dumping him, and finding someone who will treat you with respect

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he sound rude

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He's not going to make a good husband.

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He loves you...he is probably trying to get you show some passion about something/anything to snap you out of feeling depressed...

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You have a wrong timing-doer fiancé.

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Does he, though? Or do you interpret things differently depending on your mood?

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Well I confided in him on the phone because I was upset about something and he was silent and just said uh huh uh huh. He said he already told me what to do about situation but it came up again and I was just venting I told him. He just became silent. So I changed subject asked how his day was and he said. That is not why you called

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That is so typically male. Men sincerely want to help by performing actions. Or providing active solutions to problems. They're not so much into talking through feelings or even listening to venting. In a way, he might feel rejected if he thinks you're not taking his suggestions into consideration. Let him know that you are (if you are) but that you still feel the need to vent.

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Have to walk on eggshells

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bad

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