Quit now before you end up truly hating each other.<br />
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That's my experience<br />
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For what it's worth

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Why do you say that, Peza? Is the relationship hopeless at this point??<br /><br />
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Trying to understand if he truly cares about me, or if it's that he just doesn't want anyone else to have me and for me to find happiness. Could he be that selfish?

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You say he is an overachiever. Just a shot in the dark, but perhaps he doesn't quite get the idea of doing something, like giving you attention, just for the sake of it. When you pay him attention, he thinks that all is normal/well, and when you don't he sees a problem, which causes him to try to fix it (by paying you attention). If he's as resistant as you say, this may be easier said than done, and you may well have tried this a thousand times, but you need to try to find a way to communicate to him that you need/want to be paid attention on a regular basis, without having to be the "squeaky wheel" (as in, "The squeaky wheel gets the grease.").

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That actually makes sense to me.<br /><br />
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We married when we were both pretty young and while he has been actively building his career, I have been raising children and twiddling my thumbs, so to speak.Now he has reached the pinnacle and he just noticed, I have become somewhat disengaged with the relationship, so now he is scrambling to "fix" it.<br /><br />
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I remember you were in my circle when I was here as br0ken1! Remember me? <br /><br />
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I created the "I will support Pres. Obama in reforming healthcare" group. You are incredibley intelligent and perceptive! Glad I found you again...lol..

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this is adhearant to the old saying , Absents makes the heart grow fonder . it is a proven fact that when two people have compleatly bonded it is very hard to break away from one another , now I'm not saying that we are all animals with this example but consider eagles , upon meeting and compleating a bond thay are Mates for life and will not mate with another of their own kind ( ever ) when one of the two dies , the one remaining will soon wither away out of loneliness , humans are a bit more versitile and stuborn but still we have to answer up to that which is in our nature ( Mother Nature that is ! ) It all Depends on How much power of will one has , as for me and mine , we avoid power struggles all together , when either of us is in need of the other we just submit to that which is in both our nature , just learn to talk things over more often , communicate your likes and dislikes and in due time you won't have to talk about them at all . we have been there and done that already now however imperfect we may be as humans we still have the advantage of learning from our mistakes and it's is so much more fun to just Kiss an make up. (truth be it known ) I think thats why we as humans fight in the first place . adhearant to the saying [ the happiest couple are the ones that have a spat every now and then ]<br />
the best things in life always take time to get . Paschar

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You found the winning formula. Keep ignoring the poor schmuck!

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LMAO, honey, is that you??

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Sounds like a high school fling.

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LMAO....we've been married for 25 years this July. But I can see your point, fascade.

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I think you guys need to seek counseling, something isn't right. It is like a deeper reason is there for this to be happening. I hope you guys work it out and I am sure you still love each other just not showing it.

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I have suggested counseling, but he is very resistant. He is a classic over achiever and lacks the ability to acknowledge his own mistakes, imperfections, etc....A complete control freak.

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Yeah it's normal. For me, I'm a bit the opposite, but human nature is that what want what we are deprived of.

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Thanks for responding. I appreciate it.

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Dats natural it happens to evryone u r normal

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I appreciate that. Makes me feel better.

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For me it was not quite that way....He pays more attention to me....When he thinks that someone else might be looking to pay me some attention......<br />
andd it has been that way for 30 years

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It is similiar for me, when someone else is giving me positive attention, I tend not to respond as affectionately to my hub's attempts. <br /><br />
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The more distant I become, the more clingy he is.

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Why?Why? Does he do you that way? He likes living that way. He likes loving that way. HUMAN NATURE!

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Jeez! This is the issue that I have with married men. The more I ignore them the more they see me as a challenge.

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Yes, men are like that.

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Um well yes, I had a partner that like to ignor me that's perhaps a little harsh, let's say not pay me attention, |she hadf the treat them mean and keep them keen philosophy. Loved her very much. Noone is tied at the hip but I stuck it for four year's then I just had to bolt...... :(

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Yes, I can understand the decision to leave. <br /><br />
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We have children together, its very complicated, I do not feel that I can abandon him at the moment.

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That is sad.

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I agree.

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My husband and i can go hours without a word but as soon as I start entertaining myself then he talks up a storm.

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You should pay attention to him dear if you are not interested in him any more and giving him pain day by day giving him the feelings that you are nothing playing with his nature attitudes love loyalty it will be good to give him that all pain together at once by leaving him alone in peace...he's a human he needs attention he loves you

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