sadly our culture does not encourage the respect and treasuring of ones virginity.
Before you started dating or after?
Then its her choice! Its none of your business tbh.I didnt wait for 'the one' before I lost mine and theres no saying if your 'the one' for her anyways!!!
Oh my god, get over it. She made a different choice from you. She's not the same person as you. If you can't figure out that she's her own person who makes her own decision ba
Because they got their first, one assumes. It's hardly worth worrying about.
so what now! you are going to dump her for this! she is with you now not with him! you were not part of that past so why make it part of your present???
I am bordering on 4 years with my current gf and she too lost her virginity to someone else. I am also a virgin saving myself for the right person. I also ask why did she lose it, why could she not be my first?
My gf comes from a difficult past, she was teased and emotionally abused. She was sort of a loner, she did things she regrets, even losing her virginity was because she felt she would never be loved by any boy. To me, that is painful to even think about and i sometimes get images of her and him doing the deed. Emotionally its beyond painful!
However, there are some things that you need to ask yourself, questions that I asked myself when I felt really down. The first is, do you love her, even with all of her faults? This INCLUDES her not being a virgin.
I am Christian, so I ask God to help me emotionally not to hurt and to love her as she is. That is what Jesus would do. I do not know if you have a religion or not but the point I want to make is that people are not perfect, no matter how much we want them to be. People below have answered that it isn't your business and that you should get over it but the reality is that you cannot just 'get over it' as if it were a stone in your path. It hurts to know that something we value has been given away.
These are the steps I took to heal myself. It will take time but these steps may help
1. Accept that she isn't a virgin. This is important! Put a positive spin on this, your first time will be entirely enjoyable for both of you.
2. Love her for everything else. Be it her smile, her eyes, the way she says hello, the way she says your name, the way she kisses you, the way she hugs you. Her scent, whatever. Love her for that, do not only focus on her virginity. Sex is only one part of a successful relationship, it is not the only thing.
3. Cry it out. Do not be afraid to 'mourn' but do not do it too often, it will become unhealthy.
4. Talk to her about your concern. Do not accuse her and make her feel guilty. The hardest part to accept is that there is nothing we can do to change the past. Maybe and if only can't change anything. Ask her to help you heal yourself.
5. Don't continually bring it up. Chances are if it hurts you, it hurts her to see you hurting.
6. Make your own experiences with her. Remember that she is with you now and she loves you. After 3 years, (4 for me), there can hardly be a question if she loves you or not.
I hope this helps you, as it did me. Just remember that love can conquer everything, it may take time but it is worth it. To further put this into perspective, if you break up with her, will it be worth it?
For me, it will not. It is not going to bring back her virginity. I will however lose my best friend over something that cannot be fixed.
Good luck with the healing process my friend :)
Read this confession, "Perspectives on Virginity"
where you virgin the time you meet her.......
My son, this is Father Augustine, your beloved sex advisor. In its great wisdom, the Holy See has never granted the priesthood to women because, although creatures of the only God (ours), they have a major fault. In other words, they're defective. Why God made them defective is still a mystery that we try to solve in conclave between Holy Men. In straightforward words, the ******* love to be ******. They trick poor, ordinary men into penetrating them and they milk their Holy Members till they extract the Holy *****. Sometimes, the wretched creatures, several times in a row. Imagine the Holy Seed doomed to fill the bowels of these wanton creatures! Unfortunately, they do not do this solely as God intended - to produce additional males in His image, with a few females as a side dish - but for wjat they claim to be fun! In the eyes of God, they're ***** (and God watches those *****, believe me!). They can't wait to get rid of their Holy Hymens. This makes me sick, just like you. And all the while, here you are, made in the image of God, trying to keep your snake in your pants, preventing it from rearing its godlike head before you use it to perform reproductive functions only. You're on the way to sainthood, My son. She, the lewd creature, is on her way to hell. Which is already full of deflowered women, Mafia dons, Hell's angels, and all the liberals and revolutionaries of this world. What hellish visions!
it would be better to ask yourself why you choose to think such negative things about her. mean and disrespectful of you, disloyal, as well, since she's your best friend in the world.
if you can't respect girls who aren't virgins, then you should only date virgins. and if it's *THAT* big a deal, then you damned sure shouldn't be taking their virginity from them, either.
What's done is done. You can't change it. Get over it or let her go.
if your the same age its probabley that girls mature faster then boys if not your not her first love
Ask from her.