No, but I wish I was over in Glasgow, Jack Bruce is in concert tonight.

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What? bashing his drum with one?

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No, playing his bass at some Burns festival

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Sounds better, bashing his bass?

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Yup, plucking his strings

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No, the wily haggis is not native to my area. We hunt Snipes, or sometimes stuffed cabbages.

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Cabbages in Scotland a virtually unknown unless they are deep fried

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Absolutely; just be sure to chase it round the mountain clockwise. (It's used to running anti-clockwise, and has one leg longer than the other to make this easier; chase it the other way and it'll roll to the bottom. :)

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As far as I know, an Haggis is a Scottish octopus. You can make them into bagpipes

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You've got it backwards; an octopus is an aquatic Haggis! :)

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Whoops ! Sorry !

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