I've been married for over 17 years. When I first met my husband, I was young, lonely, and insecure. I did not have a ha
I've been married for over 17 years. When I first met my husband, I was young, lonely, and insecure. I did not have a happy childhood and I wanted to feel secure for the first time in my life. My husband is 12 years older than me, and has a background in psychology. Now that I'm older, educated, and secure with myself, I see things differently. I'm not easily manipulated anymore and stand up for myself. That is causing daily problems for us. My husband wants all things done his way. He goes about it by manipulating me into thinking I feel the same way he does. He is stubborn and will not back down if I have a difference of opinion. He is offended easily, raises his voice frequently, and is verbally abusive towards me. Now that I've been pointing out his behavior, he justifies it by insulting me, or criticizing my actions in the past. When I've suggested separating, he goes to great lengths to tell me how terrible I am and how no one will ever put up with me. He also stresses that once I leave (he won't leave HIS house) that he will have nothing to do with me and will not help me in any way. He has also threatened to steal my assets and physically harm me when he loses his temper after I suggest we separate. He is no doubt suffering from some mild clinical depression. This condition is only getting worse with time. He has tried many anti-depressants, but they either make him sick or they don't work. I believe that he wants me only for his own insecurities. We rarely have sex, I have little desire for someone who treats me this way. I want to leave, but it's scary to venture out on my own. I know when I do, he's going to make things as difficult for me as he can. I have no one to lean on. He has isolated me through the years, again because of his insecurities. I know it sounds awful, but I wish I could fall in love with a good man first, so I would not be alone when I left. I am a kind, generous, and affectionate person. Every day, I wish I had someone to hold me and comfort me. I'm in my 40's, but I'm still attractive, with little baggage, and I can support myself financially. I yearn to be with someone like me. What should I do? I feel I am at at crossroads in my life and want to make the right decision.