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I know how important it is for children...especially boys, to have a father in their life. But that really isn't an option. So how do I get it right with my boys? How does a single mother give them what they need?
Wurkoutgurl Wurkoutgurl 36-40, F 20 Answers Nov 30, 2012 in Community

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Love them, support them, and be a good example

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Thank you...I will do that...=)

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That is good advice...and praying about God bringing the right men. Obviously there are people that take advantage of situations like these for evil purposes.<br />
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I also taught my son about being a gentleman from an early age. I saw God bring good men into my son's life. My son is 17 and has fine character. <br />
I talked to him early on about values, and the importance of having character..in age appropriate ways. <br />
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Blessings on being a mom!

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What great advice...thank you for that. =)

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I'm trying to find out this answer myself!

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Start with a good Church. Being good Christians and having good Christian families will make them know the Holy Bible and follow God's way.<br />
Monitor what they learn after school, and ask them what they did while in School.<br />
From your questions and the way each give answer will make you know which one is going astray, then you can know how to give special attention to that one.

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My dad died when I was 2 and my brother was 6 weeks old I think we grew up OK. I wish I could give you a better answer

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Thank you =)

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1. She is in control.<br />
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2. She is honest and truthful to them. <br />
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3. She lets them be who they are. <br />
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4. She loves them for who they are. <br />
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5. She makes them deal with the consequences of their actions. <br />
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6. She lets them know the whereabouts and everything else about their father(s).

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I was raised by a single mother, and I like to think of myself as a good man.<br />
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There are no barriers to you raising a good man, but what you (and he) may find difficult is raising a man to fit into male society.<br />
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Of course, you want to teach him respect for women. From your relationships with other men, and your relationship with him, he will see how men and women should treat one another.<br />
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In my case, some traditionally masculine traits and experiences are missing. I never was interested in team sports or male bonding. I believe one can be a good man (perhaps even better), lacking those elements.

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Thank you so much for your advice and reassurance...makes me feel better about things. I so want to give my kids everything, and be everthing I can for them.

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You raise them to be a good person ... period. <br />
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I wouldn't raise a daughter any differently than a son. <br />
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Just instill in them a sense of what's right and wrong. Encourage them to respect themselves and others .. become independent thinkers and productive citizens.<br />
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They don't have to have to father to teach them how to be a good person. They just need a loving, caring, consistently involved influence in their lives.

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Thanks...that's what I've been trying to do so far.

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Then you're doing all anyone could do. They'll be just fine.

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make them listen to joel osteen......everyday

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I've seen him. Interesting character. I think also....I need to let them listen to me...talking about God every day. That is something I am struggling with right now. I'm currently trying to .......reestablish my relationship and place with God.

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same here....lol

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not an easy thing to do when the world is so angry and has no direction...makes you really have to figure out who you are and find your inner strength

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The fact that you're thinking about it has gotten you along way toward achieving that goal.

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I've been thinking about it every day since I became a single mother. I want to get it right....

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You're going to have a much easier time doing that then you would if you were with someone... especially if there was no harmony there. You'll be FINE. Just let your instincts and wisdom guide you as you nurture them into adult life.

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Thank you for that...that is MUCH appreciated.

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Just be there for them when they need you to start with. Be honest about their dad too.

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I have prayed long and hard on how to know what to tell them...how to be there for them. So far...delicate honesty is how I have approached it.

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You'll know what to tell them when the time comes :) and how to be there for them is instinctive... Actually you are thinking ahead and thats a good start already :)

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I've seen so many kids messed up from bad parenting...I always think about what I can do to make it better and right...despite lacking a father.

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Time, attention and patience... In my opinion, those are the key ingredients :)

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I agree...and much much love! =)

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Yes! See... I know you are doing fine already... :) don't worry too much, you're alright... :)

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Thanks for the encouragement...=)

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4 More Responses

Let them pump the gas. Make them talk to the cashier person. Make sure they have a disciplined lifestyle. Try to find mentors (good men are fading fast so its hard to find). Get them involved in sports and community activities. Be the best example you can be for them. My mom had faults and did some things wrong. She was very attractive and had a lot of boyfriends and I thought that was wrong, esp when they would be at the house. If you want your boys to grow up respecting women, you have to be that example for them and respect yourself and them and that might involve you easing up on the dating scene if you're in it. I still struggle with utmost respect for my mom but I have definitely forgiven her for her bad choices.

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