So why is it that when I tried to break it off, I was devastated and I worry if I world be making the right decision by leaving. I have no desire to meet any man. I've made myself turned off by the idea of weddings. I'm like that when it comes to major things though. I back out after I've made a decision or change my mind after I'm close to getting something or after I've gotten it
don't do it then ...simple
You need to work this out with your fiance' .. not strangers on a website. If you're unsure, don't get married.