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alanis15 alanis15 18-21, F 6 Answers Jan 12, 2012

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jealousy is not love........it is acting on the fear of losing what they have.... almost always leads to trouble

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Jealousy is fear of losing someone you love, or fancy.<br />
Sometimes it's realistic, because the beloved actually is loving someone else.<br />
It's not insecure if it's ba<x>sed on specific concrete evidence.<br />
It is insecure if it's just a feeling or an idea in your head, with no evidence.<br />
But sometimes this feeling is ba<x>sed on intuition:- maybe they are showing less interest in you, spending more time elsewhere, or there are vague clues.<br />
When private investigators are hired to watch a spouse, they find 70% of their employers guessed correctly.<br />
<br />
If your lover shows a lot of jealousy, and yet you are faithful and haven't earned it,<br />
then either the lover is insecure in their own sense of self worth,<br />
or senses that you are less keen.<br />
If you are less keen you need to say so, but also say that you're not into straying,<br />
and that if you intend to leave the relationship you will do it cleanly, openly and honestly,<br />
and you won't do it by finding someone else to help you.<br />
Tell your lover that a loving relationship needs to be ba<x>sed on trust,<br />
that you know you are trustworthy regardless of what he imagines,<br />
that you cannot accept paranoid jealousy and it turns you off.<br />
You'll give him a chance to accept the reality that you are honest,<br />
but if he can't learn trust and good will,<br />
you will eventually end it.<br />
Sometimes paranoid jealousy is part of the personality of a control freak...<br />
not just jealousy but total possessiveness.<br />
If you try to conciliate someone like that you'll end up as I did as a young woman,<br />
taking an overdose to escape.<br />
I had not intended to survive, and very nearly damaged my metabolism permanently.<br />
I guarantee it was not a good way for me to deal with it.

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I agree it depends on the situation, but from what I've seen it's insecurity.

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insecurity: if your secure in whatever (life, love, yourself) you find all the reasons to be insecure

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it depends on your situation..

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