alanis15 alanis15 18-21, F 6 Answers Jan 12, 2012

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jealousy is not is acting on the fear of losing what they have.... almost always leads to trouble

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Jealousy is fear of losing someone you love, or fancy.

Sometimes it's realistic, because the beloved actually is loving someone else.

It's not insecure if it's based on specific concrete evidence.

It is insecure if it's just a feeling or an idea in your head, with no evidence.

But sometimes this feeling is based on intuition:- maybe they are showing less interest in you, spending more time elsewhere, or there are vague clues.

When private investigators are hired to watch a spouse, they find 70% of their employers guessed correctly.

If your lover shows a lot of jealousy, and yet you are faithful and haven't earned it,

then either the lover is insecure in their own sense of self worth,

or senses that you are less keen.

If you are less keen you need to say so, but also say that you're not into straying,

and that if you intend to leave the relationship you will do it cleanly, openly and honestly,

and you won't do it by finding someone else to help you.

Tell your lover that a loving relationship needs to be based on trust,

that you know you are trustworthy regardless of what he imagines,

that you cannot accept paranoid jealousy and it turns you off.

You'll give him a chance to accept the reality that you are honest,

but if he can't learn trust and good will,

you will eventually end it.

Sometimes paranoid jealousy is part of the personality of a control freak...

not just jealousy but total possessiveness.

If you try to conciliate someone like that you'll end up as I did as a young woman,

taking an overdose to escape.

I had not intended to survive, and very nearly damaged my metabolism permanently.

I guarantee it was not a good way for me to deal with it.

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I agree it depends on the situation, but from what I've seen it's insecurity.

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insecurity: if your secure in whatever (life, love, yourself) you find all the reasons to be insecure

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it depends on your situation..

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