My neighbor is a real *******!
Now that's pretty clever, I have to admit---
Thank you for letting me be free and see the light of day. You're so considerate by not keeping me cooped up in the dark all the time. I like the way you play with me and show me off! And, when you let me cuddle inside her warm, cozy place and feel real good, I'm just ecstatic!!!
it would say "stop shaving me you sick bastard, I am supposed to have hair!"
It wouldn't refer to itself as that. ;)
"why is it every place I'm in is dark?"