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I know that if I'm seeing a girl, like taking her out every week, kissing, light play, etc., if I find out she's dating other guys in the same way then I'm totally done with her. Do you think this situation is ok? Or do you think I'm right for dropping girls like this like a hot potato?
JayLee23 JayLee23 26-30, M 9 Answers Jun 23 in Dating & Relationships

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Non its not OK!

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thank you. I agree

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I think it depends how much you expect from someone in a casual relationship with you. Unless you've told her you want her to be exclusive to you and unless she's agreed, then she should be free to date others just as you are.

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Having said that, if a girl is willing to go that far with you without really having any relationship commitment she probably has no problem having that kind with multiple partners.

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it's just fishy. why would you need to see multiple guys at one time? girls don't usually operate like that if they're serious about having a monogamous relationship. But it's ironic because the same girl will give it up to multiple guys and then act like she's not "that type of girl." Always hypocritical so I move on easily in this type of situation.

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If you're serious about a monogamous relationship then it's important that you say that to the girl and let her know that you're making a commitment to be monogamous with her. Then if you've both promised to remain exclusive and monogamous and you're being faithful but you find that she is not, then i understand you perfectly and agree with you.

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no that's not what I'm talking about. you don't have to agree, but I don't find it attractive or cool if a girl is dating multiple guys at one time. it would just make me want to back out of wherever I am at with her and go the other way. just my thoughts, and I've recently done it.

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Then what are you talking about? I'm confused. Can you just clarify something for me...............are you dating multiple females with all the benefits..............but you find it 'unattractive' if they are doing the exact, same thing as you?

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no lol. I don't think you see what I'm saying because it's coming as a shock to you that a female can play around with multiple men. but it's far more common than you think for a young, attractive female to be seeing 3-5 different men at one time, all alowed to "suite" her as she sees fit. some women love the idea of multiple men giving them attention. whereas a man would love to have sexual relations with multiple women at a giving period of time, a women will bathe in the attention several men give her and probably will only end up sleeping with 1-2 out of the 5 guys she's stringing along. It's fairly common.

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ok..........but you still have me at arm's length here and not answering my question. ..............just give me a yes... or a no..............:
'are you seeing several women at the same time and 'suiteing' them?
(*I'm assuming by "suite" you mean foreplay or light petting).

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no. I'm not. nor would I. if I'm interested in a girl I put other people in my life away and stay focused on her and only her. if I'm not dating anyone I will "play around." but I won't lie to the girls I'm seeing. I'll let them know if it's just a FWB.

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Okay. Then I understand and I would 'drop them like a hot potato' too. Only thing is, even it's only for a short time, you both need to know that's what you've both decided to do for the time being.

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not me. I don't date girls expecting them to be seeing other guys at the same time. that's why if I catch wind of it then I'm going to put her into the FWB zone and not treat her like I want to date her or take time for her. it's an easy turn off for me. if you're not going to focus on me then what's the point?

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i suppose it is okay if you two are not "exclusive".. personally i date one person at a time. but maybe that's just me..

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While dating multi guys or girls does its good benefits but overall that's a player and it's hard work keeping up with all dates. It's like cheating on one another whether intimate or not. It's best to date one at a time and have others as strictly platonic friendships. So to speak, drop her like a hot potatoe is the right way to go.

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oooh, uptight

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I think it's ok if you aren't having sex with them and the relationships are casual

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You're right to feel the way you do and as long as neither of you have made some kind of commitment you are both free to see who you like but this light foreplay would certainly put me off as she's clearly not really thinking about anyone else's feelings but her own. Sounds like a bit of an attention seeker to me.

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Why do you think someone can only date you .. if you're not in a committed relationship with her??? If someone wants to date more than one person at a time .. it's their choice. "Dating" isn't owning someone.

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It's disrespectful to your potential future prospects and makes you look like a sloot. You can think what you want, but that's just a man's perspective.

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That sounds like something someone from the 50's would think. I don't think most men think that way anymore. And, if a woman would think that a guy should only be dating her .. he'd laugh that off.

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I sure as hell don't want to be seeing a girl if she's seeing other guys. No thanks, I don't like to share my partners. That's nasty when you think about it, and just plain disrespectful.

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