A lot of people forget that feelings and people change, just because he was settling at the time doesn't mean he regrets it now or loves his wife any less.

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He doesn't regret marrying her.

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Exactly. Just because at the time it could be seen as less than ideal doesn't mean it was the wrong or even a bad choice. He's probably changed since then and has had a great life for the past five years. Just because he was 'settling' then has no effect on what he feels now.

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I think this is one of those things that ought to be taken to the grave.

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I have to agree. This falls under the category of "NEVER EVER TELL SOMEONE THIS!"

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To me, it seems as if it all worked out. She wasn't second- he just ended up with the right gal after all. He is lucky.

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It's too late. The damage is done. This is what he gets for not being honest with himself and will have to pay the price of going through a divorce if he wants to rectify the matter.

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Tough one, perhaps they are struggling and he is having a what if moment, give him a reality check, the other one is gone, he chose to settle and if 5 years later things are tough and he wants to leave he should have the balls to end it and be on his own rather than for unrequited lust.

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That is definitely difficult situation. I really don't understand why he would want to tell her though. If he is happy with his current wife and does not regret marrying her then what would be the point telling her such terrible news? I think she would be heart broken and it could lead the marriage to an end...unless that's his motive in the first place?

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What good would that do? it would just hurt her and make her afraid that he won't continue being faithful to her. She would become insecure and worry about it no matter what he said to try to comfort her. it isnt worth it in my opinion. His first choice obviously isnt a choice for him to make anyways otherwise he would have chosen her. she was some fantacy he had.

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sleep on it.............<br />
why suddenly after 5 yrs he wants to tell her.......why suddenly guilty for no reason.........<br />
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only he knows that she was second best..............and he its not a crime and he is not answerable to any one.......for liking some one.......

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His wife has been wondering if he is hiding something from her or is too afraid to tell her something. The only thing he could think of that might be the case was this.

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wow that is a real hard one, is the one he really wanted still in his life? that would complicate things even more. if he loves her and is happy with her and does not resent his decision i would suggest not telling her.

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His first choice got married to someone else, so he married his current wife.They still talk from time to time.

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