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I would like to not accuse her of it, but I would like to find a way of getting her to admit it if she is doing so by using leverage on either on possible guilt or some other emotion. If you were cheating is there anything that your man can say, or do to get you to admit that you are doing so?
kintar0 kintar0 22-25, M 10 Answers Dec 2, 2012 in Affairs

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Don't resort to manipulation. It simply isn't fair, and it will give her leverage to lash out. You need to appeal to her sensibility, if she has any. Try something like this sort of conversation:<br />
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"Please listen to me for a few minutes. I feel like something serious has changed between us, and it's leaving me feeling very disconcerted. I want to resolve this in a way that is healthy for the both of us. If there's anything you need to get off your chest, I'm prepared to listen."<br />
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Leave it at that. If she talks, she talks. Don't interrupt her, and take the time you need to emotionally prepare yourself for the worst that she could say. If she denies that there is anything wrong, take time to reflect on the situation. If you feel uncomfortable with her still, maybe it's best to call off the relationship anyway.

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This is really great advice. Your propositional statement is great because it doesn't accuse her of anything. Thank you very much. I think I may pick your answer as the best answer so far.

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I hope you find a resolution that helps to move you forward!

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I agreee.
You are worth real truthful Love. As we we all are when in agreement to want "Real Careing Goodness" the spats dont last, only the Truth.

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Try judging the relationship on it's merits or flaws AS YOU KNOW THEM, and decide whether or not the way you are getting treated, right now, is good enough to stay. <br />
If not, fix the relationship, or forget about it.<br />
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I would tell her something like:<br />
"If I found that you were sneaking around on me, then I'd know you wanted to end our relationship. I love you, but that would be it for me." <br />
And that's the word you have to stand by. <br />
Don't snoop, don't pry, don't spy.<br />
<br />
Just tell her the standard you expect.<br />
It's her responsibility to meet your standard...or to say she can't and end the relationship. If she isn't honest and IS cheating? it'll come out sooner or later. Then it's over. You've found out she's not to be trusted.<br />
<br />
...I firmly believe in giving people JUST enough rope to hang themselves.

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I like the last line especially.

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try being so honest that you could tell if she's fake. I was willing to understandi his need , so deep he did not know it was there. I did what I could to love him thru it and when it made me mad he still was so insecure as we were bff's, S-mates, & all the rest. LOVE HEALS. now if that is what you require, great.. otherwise it would be 'over the top' bigtime.

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If I wasn't and he accused me it would tell me he didn't trust me and I would leave him. If you don't trust her why are you with her ?

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Tell her she gave you the Clap. See her reaction, if she gets Checked out.

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Guilt, tell her how you love your truthful relationship. Guilt will set the truth free.

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Why, just break up.....it won't make it better to know the details.

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It is all about the details. I would rather hurt and learn and be a little wiser, than be safe and oblivious.

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Maybe just ask her

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