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Let me rephrase it... I was cheated on horribly. How to trust new guy?

Surviving thar cheater was VERY traumatic. As a consequence of his cheating (and for whatever reasons... long story...) I lost my job and the friends I had there. My job was my life back then, it's like it destroyed my life in a way.
The point is I haven't loved anyone ever since. Now I'm falling in love for the first time in years (NEW guy) but I have trouble trusting.
I don't want to ruin my chance of loving again.
PS. I think it's not about KNOWING he's another person, therfore he shouldn't be bad as former lover was....
This is like a gut feeling, nothing to do with my thinking or knowing, it's a feeling. New guy is great. I have no actual reason to not trust him. But I'm so terrified :o? I don't show it though. I'm afraid to ruin it for me.
I don't know how to trust again. Suggestions?

Posted 3 months ago

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grannym

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker

There is no simple answer. The answer is in you. You have to let it go. And that's hard, but you have to. If this person, this new man, in your life has never given you any reason not to trust him then why not try. Not all men are out to hurt you at all. There are great men out there, but if you don't learn to trust you will run him off. You just have to open your heart and have faith in his love for you. If he cheats he didn't really love you anyways. After all you could cheat on him just as easy. Does he trust you? If the answer is yes, then give the poor man a break and trust him.

Posted 3 months ago

Other 5 Answers to Let me rephrase it... I was cheated on horribly. How to trust new guy?

ZombieKitty	Posted Aug 10th, 2009 at 5:25PM Just take it day by day, step by step. Just take your time and keep your eyes open, but give love a chance. Trust me on that one. I'm in your shoes right now as you can tell from my stories and blogs. Remember THIS guy is not the one who hurt you. I know it's hard to keep the demons at bay. *hugs. Good luck! Rated: +1Vote for this!
Angeleyes777	Posted Aug 10th, 2009 at 5:26PM You have got to try and let go of the past. Here's a suggestion for you. Write a story on what happened and then close your eyes and visualise yourself giving it to the universe (or giving it away) then press the send button and forget about it. I bet it will ease some of your distress. Its all psychological at the end of the day. Rated: +1Vote for this!
smilingspirit	Posted Aug 10th, 2009 at 5:33PM Dear Heart, You have the right to feel what you do. So approve yourself to this right to feel anyway you want or experience. Next you are only human. So is everyone else! Even "him" or "her" is human. As humans we all make mistakes and sometimes dont realize it. We all have had a little bit of distrust. But lets be clear about it, you were distrustful about something before this. It maybe wasn't a realtionship, but we all have these from time to time. My last one was with a doctor who by law was supposed to be helping me. Only to find doctor wasnt being honest. I will get over it. Soon it will be of the past, which exists only in our brains. You can't look out the window and see, SEE the past. Give your dear heart sometime and heal. Let things just be. Explain that you need time to trust -again and if the one is worth it, they will let you have all the time you need. "Say unto your heart, Peace be still."--J.Allen Rated: +1Vote for this!
cicimaster	Posted Aug 10th, 2009 at 10:54PM the problem is that you shouldint judge a dude for what another guy did to you because he's not that guy Rated: +1Vote for this!
AQUABOY1	Posted Aug 10th, 2009 at 11:57PM New guy is NOT old guy!!!!!!!!!!!He sounds like he is great,so think of all the good things about being with your new guy and through time you WILL trust him.You have no reason NOT TO!!!!!!Leave the past behind,new guy is your future!!!!Oh,it might help too if you told your new guy how you feel and let him comfort you!!!! Rated: +1Vote for this!

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