A very close friend of mine died. He and I had made big plans for the future because school always had me so busy and I never had much free time. After he died, I took a good look at my life and realized I wasn't really living and I had missed out on so much. It was a harsh reality check, but my life is better now. I just wish he was here so I could tell him how right he was.
For me I've had two life changing moments: Firstly I found out I have a disease (this made me question my existence) and secondly, watching my grandpa pass away. Watching him take his last breath and seeing how quickly he went from person to corpse is something that will stay with me forever. Life really is short and seeing death first hand really reaffirms that!
I've been ill since last year and is still ill today but I do not know why I've been ill alot of times. I don't have cancer or whatever...it is always one illness after another, like flu, then tonslitis, then a bad cold then have a fever. I couldn't go out and do things I want to do much except shopping for food, paying my bills and had no fun, I used to be able to travel far. Not any more and I know that when I gets better, I am going to get on with things like get a job or go to college, whatever despite my depression.
When my cousin died last year.<br />
It made me realize that I should have gone ahead and went to sleep in the snow after graduating undergrad because life went downhill after that.
When my 5 year old suffered a stroke and nearly died.<br />
That started a questioning of my spiritual beliefs and a spiral that ended in depression, divorce and dispair.<br />
Our family and each of us were never the same.<br />
I've since recovered and rebuilt my life but know that nothing is permanent.