They're the same. One's pre. One's post.
Whatever you do - don't involve others! Kill yourself, if so you want - but not by creating accidents involving others!
You mean... All the people (and other beings) who have helped you to get embodiment, brought you up, assisted you in many ways - you are now going to dishonour by throwing all their efforts away???<br />
Kasy... It is no mean feat to get permission to be given a human body upon Earth at the present time... Heaps of beings want this, and there is a regulated allowed flow of them into embodiment. You're fortunate to be here, in a position to pass your tests of Life's situations, grow, and move on. That's what Life is about - growth of character and understanding, and growth in the ability to do something useful with Life.<br />
Know that every human has a higher-dimensional Elemental being assigned to them for the duration of their lives - because it IS a perilous thing to navigate one's way through life on this Third Dimensional world. Your guidance is there for you to acknowledge, get to know, and refer to for guidance with all problems or doings in your life. All you have to do is ASK... and your Elemental Guide will endeavour to get a response to you some way or other... maybe in a quite unexpected manner or place; so be alert for it... <br />
But know that no problem is insurmountable; somehow there is a solution... maybe in taking some positive action, maybe in coming to a new realisation and expanding your understandings. Please don't give up this opportunity to do what the Universe would like for you - Growth of character and understanding. If you do kill yourself, you will simply find yourself back here in a similar situation for a re-try of the test!... All that babyhood, childhood, adolescence to go through again, until you are ready to try again!<br />
Take time out to go to some safe, quiet place where you can think without pressure... ASK your Guidance to show you what to do next, and then when you get some ideas that might work, be of a mind to follow them up and experiment... try out new ideas. There is no life that can't be turned around, given a clear (or clearer) view of what really is happening, and how you - an extremely intelligent and capable being of this Universe - can surmount ANY obstacle if you can see the right strategy to use. Ask your guidance to inspire you; be alert and patient; by the laws of this Universe you MUST be responded to in some way or other!<br />
The very best of good fortune with it (there's no such thing as 'Luck')!
Please reconsider unless you have a terminal illness. If not terminal, life just may get better. What have you to lose?