You are letting yourself down buddy. All of those thoughts swirling in your head and those negative emotions pounding you are not benefiting you in the least. Is it the crisis of your ex leaving and taking your child or is it more? Only you know. The feeling of it being ground hog day is that you are getting the same as what you are putting out there day after day. You are caught in this vicious cycle and that little voice in your head that keeps talking.....it isn't you or your voice. Every day is a new day. Things can change for you over night if you can accept that. You need to forgive your ex, and forgive yourself if that is what is holding you back from doing the things you are here to do. You have to be honest with yourself. Who are you? Not what you do for work, or what kind of grades you get....I mean at your core, who are you? What do you want for you? What turns you on, gets you excited, the things that you are passionate about? If you don't have those answers....that is where you start. Until you see a better version of yourself when you look in that mirror and recognize that you are caught in this rut because of you and your choices, it's going to continue and you will remain on this emotional rollercoaster that is keeping you paralyzed, while those dreams remain on that shelf.
You are in a state of traumatic shock. Be gentle with yourself...