I really don't know! I'm almost always by myself other than when I'm at work. However, I am not a loner, I do not like being alone, it's of course lonely but also extremely depressing. I love people, and I want more than anything to have a social life. <br />
I feel less dissonance and more comfort, safe and secure (with no reference to the physical sense of the meaning), when I'm alone. With family problems as a kid and going through foster care as a teen, I've never really had any friends, and I don't talk to my family at all not even holidays...<br />
The anxiety that arises when I'm around people I don't know, is too much. I have fought a great deal, one step forward two steps back, to undo what my past has done to me. I don't want people to know about it, but socially I'm transparent. Some things, such as socialization, are critical stages developed during childhood and adolescents. While I have had great strides in other aspects of my life, Socially it's more like 1 step forward 10 steps back. I don't know how to or where to start, I dont know how to be, I dont know how to act, I don't know what's appropriate, I don't know what to say, my sense of humor is extremely dry, I talk too much when I'm nervous usually not making a whole lot of sense and embarrassing myself, I don't know what people talk about.... My uncountable attempts, to socialize myself, have only done further damage. Now I feel like an ugly person behind a pretty face. Each attempt has led to me finding that most people don't really like me as a person. People see a pretty face, until they meet me, then turn around and run the other direction. The people I had gotten close to well turned out they only pitied me, annoyed by presence until they hated me, then they ran. I have always felt like an intruder, an unwelcomed guest, every word or move scrutinized until I start hating myself, losing sight of me and what's good. <br />
I am an amazing person and I love who I am! I want to be out there in the world, but I'm tired and afraid to let the anyone else know me. I'm petrified to find out I'm not strong enough to, fix it, undo what's been done. Even though Im always improving I have nothing to show for it, no one ever choses me, no ones cared enough to stay around, or seen the improvement and potential, they don't see my qualities, they see what they want, they see what's wrong... I'm afraid to take any more chances, to give people any more chances to take what little I have left bc I know it's not a kind place...I have become so insecure my when I'm around people that I have all but become a shut in... <br />
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While I hate it its the only time I feel safe and prefer it!

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thanks for sharing your story here

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I need some of each.

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me too

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Depends on the situation but both ways really

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same here

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I like being alone. That may be because I rarely get any alone time. Might be the other way if I was alone all the time.

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