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Looking to get married between basic and AIT? Has anyone done this?

Georgia marriage license laws says there's no waiting time law between obtaining the marriage license and getting married..

Can anyone give me some advice?

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6 Answers to "Looking to get married between basic and AIT? Has anyone done this?"

  1. TucksGirl - 22-25 years old - female

    Posted by TucksGirl May 26th, 2012 at 11:37PM

    When are you planning to do this? my fiancé just left for basic in benning too.

    Like (1)

  2. MeGettingBetter - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by MeGettingBetter Apr 15th, 2012 at 10:11PM

    Part 1/2.

    You didn't state how long you'd known each other, your ages, what the quality of the relationship is like, how much trust do you both have yourselves (and in each other), what issues/problems you are currently experiencing, what service he's going into and what military job/position. Without more information, I strongly suggest taking your time, building your relationship, actively deepening the level and breadth of communication and trust between you, FIRST. Especially as he is integrated into the miliary.

    "IF" the marriage is to last, a 'short' wait of 6 more months, and even up to 1-2 years, is more than reasonable to make the most of who each of you are, develop that deep trust, enjoying fully open candid communication, etc... I'm not saying your relationship isn't good, or that it won't last.... mearly stating things I believe are important, in answer to your solicititation for advice.

    Being in the military usually means travel to other parts of the country, and maybe to far away parts of the world. A military spouse doesn't always have it easy. The TV drama "Army Wives" has some legitimate indications of what goes on, though they are depicting a lot of the BS that happens at the officer level. Anyway, his travel and exposure to other places, also means exposure to other people, new ideas, broadening of his mind, thoughts, feelings, mentality, attitude, etc.... Literally, in six months, and within 1-2 years, he will encounter a LOT of new people... and his thinking/feelings will change, as will his outlook on work, life, friends, girlfriend(s), desires, his personality, his place/role in life, his near-term and long-term goals, etc...

    This IS a dynamic and significantly formative time for him. Not so much for you, honestly, since you are not traveling around to the extent he is, nor are you as inundated with requirements to expand your horizons like he HAS to do, nor are you exposed to great gobs of new people that you HAVE to interact with like he does (i.e. work, training, duty days, time in the field, etc...). Since your world is and will be a bit smaller.... you might not see things as he does. It will take significant effort on your part to begin to be as open-minded as he IS going to be (about life, relationships, etc..). My point with this is that he will naturally grow, his mind will expand, he'll see and 'get' into a bigger, brighter world. It isn't that he'll forget about you---he won't, but with his world expanding, he will be changing and maturing.

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  3. MeGettingBetter - 46-50 years old - male

    Reply by MeGettingBetter Apr 15th, 2012 at 10:11PM

    Part 2/2 (I had a lot to offer, and their boxes are too piddly) Now, if you are an integral, active, significant, beautiful contributing partner WITH him, and the two of you can deeply, actively communicate about anything and everything... those dangers of his expanding life, and potential of losing you behind that are greatly diminished. It is challenging to convey all the dangers, and I don't mean to paint a gloom-and-doom picture... yet, you wanted advice, and I'm trying to be candid and directly honest with you. Marriage is a rough prospect these days. Look around, do your own homework, and you'll find a LOT of marriages (especially in the military) end in divorce. I think a hugely significant contributing factor is people who got married too quickly 'thinking' everything was perfect, hotly 'into' each other at the time-----but not ensuring they actively KNEW what each other was like they FAILED to deeply communicate about themselves, their lives, their goals, and didn't really face each others' failures together. Doing all that takes time, it takes work. It isn't hot and it certainly isn't sexy. But, BUT---those things are a PART of what makes a damn good marriage LAST. I suggest you think it over, talk about this with him. Share with him the little I've said here and see what resonates within the two of you. Are you both REALLY up for the HARD work? Could you successfully convince 6-10 other people (half who are close to you, and the other half who are total strangers)??? Just think about that. A marriage that LASTS should endure for 80+ years, give or take a few dozen. :) If you'll both put in the 1-2 years developing things now... how can you fail in the long run. I wish you both a happy life and great success!

    Like (1)

  4. DenteAvvelenato - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by DenteAvvelenato Apr 15th, 2012 at 9:02PM

    I think you should wait until he gets stationed. I'm assuming this is because you all want to live together? Should have done it before basica training.

    Like (1)

  5. msdoubled - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by msdoubled Apr 15th, 2012 at 9:05PM

    We're getting married because we want to, not just because it gives us a possibility to live together. We should have done it before basic but unfortunately time did not permit

    Like (1)

  6. DenteAvvelenato - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by DenteAvvelenato Apr 15th, 2012 at 9:07PM

    I'm a military wife... married before he joined service... I've seen a lot of crazy things... I really suggest waiting.

    Like (1)

  7. Frankinweenie - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by Frankinweenie Apr 15th, 2012 at 8:54PM

    Better wait to see where he gets stationed first

    Like (1)

  8. jatpack3 - 36-40 years old - male

    Posted by jatpack3 Apr 15th, 2012 at 8:39PM

    Getting married around Ft. Gordon?

    Like (1)

  9. msdoubled - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by msdoubled Apr 15th, 2012 at 9:03PM

    benning

    Like (1)

  10. Difum - 61-65 years old - male

    Posted by Difum Apr 15th, 2012 at 8:35PM

    If he is just coming out of basic he can't afford it. Hopefully it means you also have a decent paying job. Don't know about Georgia's laws.

    Like (1)

  11. msdoubled - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by msdoubled Apr 15th, 2012 at 8:55PM

    we have enough money to pay for the license and the courthouse ceremony

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  12. Difum - 61-65 years old - male

    Reply by Difum Apr 15th, 2012 at 8:58PM

    That's great sweetie. But I'm talking about living. Will you be able to be together, etc....

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