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Lyrics to one of my songs: "Fog". What do you think?

A black cloud settles
At the center of the crossroads
Drinking the light from its glass

A highwayman and gypsy
Exchange formal glares
As one then the other goes passed

Their recognition fades
As they walk into the haze
And the eye of the storm fades away

Confusion swallows the heat from the air
And spits out the cold of the heart
The thin red line gets thinner everyday
But there's no way to tear it apart

The roads now engulfed
And the train tracks consumed
The horizon's been swept out of view

Now the children run scared
From this violent gloom
As it makes its way passing through

You look for the man
With a gun in his hand
But the shade of his skin's turning blue

Confusion swallows the heat from the air
And spits out the cold of the heart
The thin red line gets thinner everyday
But there's no way to tear it apart
Posted 4 months ago
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I think its a lovely song and we should put our alcohol away for the night and get some sleep friend : )
We can have more drinks tomorrow!
HUGS
Posted 4 months ago

Other 5 Answers to Lyrics to one of my songs: "Fog". What do you think?


Posted Jun 30th, 2009 at 9:46AM
I want to hear you sing it! =D
Very Morrison like...
Rated: +2Vote for this!  
Posted Jun 29th, 2009 at 5:00PM
Poetic.
Rated: +2Vote for this!  
Posted Jun 28th, 2009 at 6:56AM
Good.
Songs tend to be simpler, both in construction and meaning, than poetry - 'Fog' is poetry.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Posted Jun 28th, 2009 at 9:21AM
Very poetic. I agree that songs are usually simpler, A-B-A-B-C-A-B, etc. Or something like that anyway, with the repeating refrain and all that. Perhaps the music for, "The thin red line gets thinner everyday, but there's no way to tear it apart", can waft in an out to tie the whole piece together. Hmmm...I think I'd change "but" to "and" but you have more of a sense of mood than I do.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Posted Jun 28th, 2009 at 9:35AM
Metal song.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
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