There's not much to say. They're either aware of it and for whatever reason can't/won't change things, or assume such is normal, in which case any words will fall on deaf ears.<br />
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Let me suggest however that saying "no" is much harder than the act. To say no is to provoke a never ending agonizing sh!tstorm, unless one is prepared to permanently walk away from her and by extension her side of the family (all but). Sadly, those most deserving of said treatment are generally best at intimidating those around them to prevent them from doing so. In the case of your MIL, she's had a lifetime to work on your husband. At the risk of cliche by invoking Freud, I'd suggest that the only way he's going to detach from her is by loving someone more than her who's meaner than her (Ignore that, just being unnecessarily fatalistic.).<br />
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That reminds me, I've got to close/stop using the account that has her name on it (which predates me being a legal adult), and get my bank to stop sending statements to her house, so I don't get screamed at when she reads my bank statements (like recently, over me spending MY hard earned money on repairing my car).

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What you say to him will very likely have no effect. People that are programed after years to be controlled won't change unless they really really want to themselves and likely need help doing it.

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i guess i'm lucky, he handed over her email address and i told her goodbye, he knew about it all.

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well okie dokie

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