Its the best feeling EVER and your life changed for ever

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:)

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my first born was a boy as soon as i cut umbilical cord he turned blue and was rushed out of room and clergy soon entered. He was Sent to San Fran Med Center Where the next day I was convinced to let him go and unhook machines against my own judgement I decided only way I would is if he could be given something to make it quick did not want him to gasp for air and turn colors so they supplied me with large syringe of Morphine which was inserted into IV line for me to administer. I was handedmy newborn son for the first time and held his little weak body against my chest I said a few private things, and pushed down on the plunger and said im so sorry,,i held him talking to him as i felt his heart stop beating and he died in my arms... It was an experience I would never wish for anyone to have to endureI know in my heart I made the right choice and one year almost to the day I was blessed with a perfect lil girl and following her two beautiful lil brothers and after the first experience holding them was like having the most fullfilling happy greatest thing i ever hope to feel

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:)

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The best. (She didn't think much of my trying to sing her back to sleep, though ... a hard edged critic from the start.)<br />
<br />
Grandkids are pretty good, too, but not quite the same.

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I was scared to death and not sure if I was ready for this

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:)

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