No....no no no no in my opinion that isnt right....yea im not married or anything so i dont know any of this whole situation....but i've seen wat it can do...its more damaging than what you or him can possible estimate... My father has been married to my mom for about 21 yrs....then the "other women" came in....not only does my mom know, not only did she tried to stop it...but it freaken blew her own damn world up and apart... not only that we ( my siblings andi) r living a hell cause we cant stop it...Take a moment and step in his wifes shoes...further more the child he may have..its damaging.. =

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Hello ---- read all below. I'm going through my own divorce because my husband went behind my back - when he could have simply been honest about the last woman he wanted to be with. I have two sons that know what it's like. I'm in the most screwed place I ever been.

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well sorry im not nosey at reading stuff = i only read ya question and answered รฒ.รณ Now missy u know better than butting in another marriage. just cause ur getting a divorse it doesnt give u a right..its not right instead of thinking about u think about them. they r ur priority.....ne?

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*laugh* one would think so. and i did pause and think about what i was doing before i continued into this ship. i figured it would honestly be a one time thing. he called me weekly for like two months before there was an opportunity to be together. he had me meet him at the most romantic location i've ever in my life been. secluded cabin, creek, trees forever, beauty and wonder... then after that he confesses hes never done such before but i had been his fantasy since he was 17. a week later he tells me he loves me. he still calls me. we've only see each other 3 times. i have his number now. he wanted to be my kids coach this fall. he invites me to his home during the day. he lifes on a main main main road. he's willing to risk quiet a bit...... the most screwed up part for me is the last time we reunited it was in a church building.

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its not funny....women open ur eyes...รฒ.รณ a one time thing doesnt always stop there..you know..Hes already seducing u...think about it even more girl...whats gonna happened in the end when hes done..your gonna get hurt. What if things get out of control....his wife can go nuts and probably end up hurting u or worse. Your a grown women you should know whats right from wrong..even its tempting.. I'm so sure you can find some else that isnt married. yes i understand getting divorsed is hard it self but dont ruin yourself over that guy who cant even keep his promise to his wife! *frowns*

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I've this other guy I've been seeing for over a year. He knows about this married guy. If it must end I feel it will kill me. The intensity is so much more than what it was with the man I married and spent over a decade with. It took over a year to survive that process. Mental hospital stay was involved. He crushed me by lying to me. I'm not scared of the married man's wife. I'm not scared of him hurting me. I'm just scared of missing out on 'our time' yet again... I was 14, I was 28,I was 29, I was 31, I was 32, I was 35 each time he appeared in my life. If I am not supposed to do this why did we start to run into each other again a month after I named my kid after him. It was like that summoned him back to my life.

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And? My father lied to my mom still up to date...theres things that i know and things that i saw. My mother feels less than a women..yet she remains by his side, not even thinking about butting in to a marriage...I just dont understamd y your willing to let him hurt you....or his wife hurt u or kill you...just to gain "your time" with him? Is it all that worth it? Honey... hes not a free man if he was i would of said for for it...since your free.. You need to think in the "what ifs" . . . . but even after this you think what im saying is kiddish cause in only 20 and havent experienced life as a parent or a married person....i just hope your extremly careful with what your about to do and suck up the consenquences in the future

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I don't judge based on age. One of my best friends just turned 19. (I'm in college) I think experience means more than a number. I can't say I understand why I'm willing to let him hurt me. I just know what it felt like to not know what happened to him for 14 years. He moved over break. My feelings were so intense for him. I still have papers that he wrote on of mine. These papers are 21 years old. He's part of me. He's engrained in who I've became. I named my kid after him for crying out loud. The connection I felt with him when I was 14 is the same connection I feel now. What if this is fate or destiny? His wife won't kill me. I know who she is. She's not that kind of person. Ironically his name means 'free man' :) When you willing let your husband lie to you it does make you feel like less of a woman. Your mom needs to save herself. I think maybe I am willing to let him hurt me because I've never been willing to let anyone who hurt me hurt me - if I am willing to take it I enable myself to be more prepared - to consider the consequences - the probable fall out. 99% it would kill me. Knife, pills, rope - it could kill me. My love for my ex almost killed me and this is more intense. I was willing to throw what I had with my ex away though when I first ran into this guy and maybe I did maybe I did. I told my ex something real nasty after running into this guy and the jist of it was I thought I had settled for my ex.

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Well then ur a first usually i get yelled at about my age and experience... e.e Well i cant read the future to say it was either fate or destiny.....I know she wouldn't but it doesnt hurt to be careful. And yea my mother needs to save herself but...her love over him is bigger than the hate she can possible feel.I know i can say yea i feel less like a women, what both you and my mom has gone, im still a brat XD. With you ex...its fine burn the memories if you have to, i understand it wasnt healthy relationship at all. Just think about it...abit longer before you decide to make a move with him...please.

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age/experience - all relevant to my experiences. i cant say fate or destiny either but it feels so much like it has to be. i don't understand it. i feel like I'm being a brat XD myself! I would question if your mother actually loves your father - personal experience has shown it is required to have the same amount of passion for a person to love them as it is to hate them - letting go of your passion is where you becoming empty to what they do and can accept it hopefully even move on.

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You wont understand it til later women. XDD dont we all. Yes i to have questioned her about that if she truely loves the idiotic of my father.

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Well you asked, so I'm guessing you're prepared for whatever responses you're going to get. Fooling around just seems dishonourable to me, whether you're married or he's the married person. I'm not basing it on any religious reasons either; it's just a question of keeping one's promises. Now if you both have open marriages, and partners are aware, than I beg your pardon. But if anyone's being deceived, it isn't fair. Better to release them to find a chance for the true love you feel you've found, with someone who wants them only. As for the children, I'm not sure if they're better served having a father who's a married cheater rather than divorced man with a girlfriend. I'm not trying to be mean, and yes it's judgmental. But I know I wouldn't want to be treated that way, if I were the wife. Peace.

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At this stage in life I don't want someone who only wants me. I can say that as separated man my ex moved some beat up barbie doll in his home and showed our children just how little they meant to him. ****** up thing is if I could go back I would have let my ex get away with cheating simply so I would have more control over the negative effects on my children. I do feel a twinge of guilt - hence making this debatable by asking the question. But what do I do? I want this. I want him. I don't care if it's temporary. I've wanted him for as long as I've known who he was. I don't want the responsibility of tearing his family apart. But if that's a risk he's willing to take to be with me - it's beyond flattering.

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You don't have the responsibility of tearing his family apart. That's solely his decision. Obviously, I don't know if his wife knows and is tolerating it to keep her marriage together; some women do. But if she doesn't know, and he's sneaking around to see you in secret, that's hardly flattering. I'm not heartless, and know what it is to love someone beyond reason; luckily he wasn't married to someone else. I sincerely wish you well and hope things turn out the way you want.

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No of course I don't but as a willing participant if the family is torn apart I am partial responsible.

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I was named after my mom's old boyfriend<br />
and she loved telling me that<br />
but I am not his lol, at least I don't think

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The thing I always consider in situations like this or similar to this is karma. If you are willing to be the other woman, what does that mean about the future? Will there be another "other woman" in your man's life? Will you be the "other woman" for another man? <br />
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You know? Marriage is a commitment, and if he's not man enough to stick to his promises, then he needs to admit that and properly handle the situation. <br />
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Its great that you two are in love and seemingly destined to be together, but don't hurt his current wife any more than she needs to be. I don't know her, but maybe she doesn't deserve to have her trust broken by a cheating husband.

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No one deserves to have their trust broken. But like I said she knows. Her gut tells her so. Her gut told her so years ago. Her eyes told her so when she got to watch me walk into the room and look into his eyes for the first time in two years this summer. She saw our reaction. As a woman cheated on, I KNOW SHE KNOWS. She lies to herself if she thinks she can stop this.

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I want my own man, I don't want to wonder where that thing has been when it greets me.

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Funny - cause I'm not his 'own woman' and he has no clue what I do when I'm not with him.

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For respect for the wife and for respect for yourself<br />
If you love him<br />
Put it out there in the open and be honest.<br />
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True love conquers all.<br />
Lies break down love.<br />
If you love him. Let him be yours.

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I've always loved him. I just found out he loves me to. Conflicted :/

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