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jollyone jollyone 41-45, F 18 Answers May 13, 2010

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Tell your son to not let anyone treat him badly or anyway he doesn't want to be treated, and when it does take place, tell him to inform someone who can/will do something about it(teachers, supervisors, principal), at that age it's best if an adult deals with the problem rather than give him some martial arts lessons and expect him to solve it at such a young age, though i agree martial arts does help alot later on when you know where/when to use it. Another thing is teach your son how to set boundaries upon how people treat him, say for example, if this bully is calling him names, tell your son he should let the bully know that he wants him to stop, and he will go to the teacher if he continues. I'm not great at explaining this; my apologies but if you did happen to catch on, that's great, this is a lesson my own father was teaching me when i was your sons age.<br />
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"My 10 year old son is being bullied at school I have spoken to the teacher but it still keeps happening."<br />
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If that was me, my dad would have gone straight to the principals office and got someone fired or had something done right away, don't "ask" the teacher to watch for your son being bullied, demand that if he's not watched and or something isn't done about the bullying your changing schools A.S.A.P and then do so in my opinion if nothing gets done.

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forget the principal. They never listen. And then they're the first ones on camera when someone ends up getting shot or something. Go straight to the school board or board of education if its public school. get your kid in some boxing or karate classes. I know violence isnt the answer but i would hate for him not to be able to defend himself if this bully goes too far.

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In many cases the bully is doing it to achieve a purpose. It may be they crave attention or want to be the center of it. Or it could be they are trying to elicit a reaction of anger, embarassment or humiliation from the target.<br />
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If the latter the key is for the target to not appear to care. If being teased then laugh along with the bully. If being humiliated then make a show of it and laugh. Anythign to make the bully realize they are wasting their time. They will usually tire of their target and move on.<br />
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Of course if the bully is doing it for attention then why not give him/her lots - like talk to the bully's parents and if things are serious enough the police. Not necessarily to get the bully punished; more to show then their actions are getting them the wrong kind of attention. <br />
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And while pmartial arts ar ento to be used offensively, they may be used for defence to the extent required. So maybe yoru son needs to offer the bully a little taste of his skills in that area to get the bullying to cease. Not much mind you; just enough to display the fact he is equipped to handle himself in tough situations. and always with no anger; only to demonstrate how talented he is.

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I am a hands on parent and when MY children were picked on the first step was to take it up with the Resource officer at the school. That usually solved the problem as the police were involved immediately. There was an incident where my daughter was in middle school had been threatened by three girls telling her she'd better not come to a school dance or they would jump her. My daughter didn't tell me about it but her brother did and I was furious and took her to the dance and I had her point those girls out and I told them in front of the crowd "I dare you to put your hands on her" and of course they didn't. I looked and acted crazy and those girls never bothered my child again. I've done the same thing for my oldest grandson when he was bullied. Some people say go talk to the parents but the parents are the problem or their children wouldn't be bullies. I take it up with the person doing the bullying and it worked every time. I have a "strong" presence and showed absolutely no concern about going to jail for beating them up for messing with my child. A teenager is a different matter and for that I would have gone to the police and pressed harassment charges against the teen and contributing to the delinquency of a minor against the parents for allowing their child to bully mine.

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u need to try and give ur 10 year old kid the tools in which he can fight bullying, dont go and complain to anymore higher ups, genrally unless its a really good school this doesnt seem to help.. aslo if ur son is getting picked on, its because he's an easy target. <br />
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in gernral bullys arnt brave or clever and will always attack the weak. so my advice is to treat a bully with the same sycology u would apply to a dog. (and no i dont mean get a spray can filled with water and annoy the bully with it) thats just stupid.<br />
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anyway what ur 10 year old son needs is a big boost of self confidence and self esteem, id suggest mabey seeing if he'd like to join a martail arts class, also it will stop all that rage he'will be brooding from bottling up anymore..also help with the self esteem/confidnce stuff.<br />
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second of all, back to the dog enalugy ur son needs to work on his 'bark', by which i mean his appilty to show he is confident and not somone to pick on. <br />
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he will need pratice of how to see and find peoples insecuritys and exploit them and make fun of them. (preferably in a funny way). if he gets good at this it will intimidate the bully and also scare him off with out ur son having to lift a finger. espesially if he does it infront of large groups of his peers, that should make the bully feel about the size of and ant, and will not like the humiliation at all. but as i said for this kinda behavior ur son need self esteem and confidence.<br />
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i dont think u'll take this advice as u the parent are usually the cause of his over politeness and formallity around others that the bullied child has taken on. <br />
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but i hope u do teach him these things so that he wont get bullied in the future, plus dont worry he can still be a good nice person even if he makes fun of '********' and knows how to protect himself.

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Tell your son to use his martial arts. As a kid growingup I was bullied. I knew a Korea guy and he showed me how to defend myself. One day these bullies came at me and let my anger out by kicking butt. They were surprised and after a few got their butt kicked left me alone. I learned several years later one of the guys who bullied me died in Viet Nam and the other is serving life in the state slammer. Sad and nice really.

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i had a very similar problem with my son on the school bus. at least twice a week one of the kids would bully him and phisicaly attack him. we went to the principal and she made it sound like he was the one starting all the trouble, but it was older kids who was causing the trouble with him. so i was very angry with the school that i could do nothing. so i called the police and made a police report, and iformed the principal that i did so. she was not happy that i had done that. but all the bullying stoped after that.

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If you can't get the school to look into this, go to the Media, there is not enough awareness on this subject. They every now and again bring it up, but only when someone is badly hurt... isn't there a parent group at the school, try them as well.

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I certainly wouldn't let it slide... I'd do something more and more assertive until it worked - although by nature I tend to withdraw from the situation if its happening to me. But my child would a different kettle of fish - and I'm a bit more assertive these days.<br />
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That said, if this is continuing to happen to your son, its a good likelihood that the cause is a karma that he has about being bullied; OR, it may be that he's setting up a lesson for the bully as an assistance to him. One wouldn't know unless one went into it. But if its karma, it probably won't stop until the karma is discharged or understood, forgiven and released. This is because karma is a lesson that the individual needs (and opted before birth) to learn; once its understood - by whatever method - its purpose is served, and it will stop happening.

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If it goes on long enough and if it has a bad enough effect on him, then I reccommend changing schools, maybe even moving.

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Put your complaint in writing to the principal.

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Go Higher, and Higher...until you get what you want!

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