Post
She moved back to NY from AZ. I was there for everything in my grandsons life, his father wanted nothing to do with hi (his loss) I was there for the birth, every DR appt and beyond. I was his sole support and helped care for him. My daughter was so direspectful even went as far as telling me "I was dead to her" for going back at her for being disrespectful. I am so sad I can't see my grandson who lived with me since birth until she left, he was 18 months. I hear just about nothing now and I am finding it very hard to deal with. I was very active in his life. How can she be so mean?
LadyVampire LadyVampire 46-50, F 15 Answers Sep 13, 2009

Your Response

Cancel

Being a young mother can be a difficult time especially when it is realized that the decisions made have not been the best. It is at this point in her life that it seems she feels like she needs to proves something to herself, that she is capable and a good mother. She may be directing her anger at you because you are the closest person to her so it is easier to put it on your shoulders thus taking off of hers. The best I can say is continue to just support her in your prayers, and through birthday cards and letters. Be very wary of saying anything in those letters that can be taken as snyde or snappy. Be positive about the things that you can be positive about such as He is growing up to be a handsome boy - things such as this will increase her esteem. As long as you never close this door to your heart, she will always know she has a path back. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear, but it is the best way I can explain it.

Best Answer

the mother/daughter thing can be complicated. I don't have mine figure out yet...<br />
<br />
but I feel your pain with the loss of your little peanut..give it time and try to 'chill out'. You may be right to be angry, but would you rather be right or happy?<br />
<br />
good luck, family is really all we have, isn't it?

Best Answer

She is an "adult" do you treat her like one or did you hold things over her for leverage and she decided it was better to take the kid and leave.

Best Answer

I truly want hear both sides of the story b4 I make a judgement call.

Best Answer

GROW UP!...She has a life with H E R family!<br />
<br />
It is her R I G H T to do that!<br />
<br />
...That is not Disrespectful!...Leave HER to raise HER child <br />
<br />
by HERSELF!

Best Answer

I know your pain. My daughter has not spoken to me in almost three years. She has three baby girls and I have only met two of them. I really do not know why she does not want anything do with me. We use to be so close. I don't understand young people. I would have never done something like this to my Mother.

Best Answer

That's is why she did it. To punish you for speaking up for yourself. She is one of the people who use their children as weapons and also to control the grandparents so that the next time she does something wrong you won't be so quick to say something about it. How do I know? Because I live it everyday and I have for years. Right now I am not able to see any of my grand kids. I was there when two of them were born and I helped to raise all four of them and here I am, alone. In MY experience it's become necessary to let it go. If you let this thing with your daughter control you then you will be lost. I have been FOR YEARS. It is a mistake to live your life for your children and grand children and in the end you are going to hurt and hurt until you say ENOUGH. I realized that I wasn't accomplishing anything by feeling sorry for myself. Your daughter obviously has animosity against you if she says that you are dead to her and after you'd taken care of her and her child like you did. It shows ungratefulness and that you were used. Step away and focus on some other aspect of your life and let time heal what you are feeling. Don't try and contact your daughter and should she contact you be open but don't be weak. My situation is so much worse that yours believe it. But I still have MY life and MY health and MY business that I need to take care of. It's time for you to look to yourself.

Best Answer

It's too bad she can't put aside her differences with you so her son can still be in your life. Not only is she hurting you, she's also hurting her son. I don't know what all led up to this problem between you & her but it does sound as if she's being unfair & cruel to you. No matter what problem(s) I had with Mom, I'd Never cut her out of my son's lives. Unless of course she was a kiddy perv.

Best Answer

I'm sorry you're hurt, but she is an Adult and it is Her child.

Best Answer

Respect went out in the nineties........It was last seen being re-invented as..."stay outta my face"...

Best Answer

It sounds to me like she was jealous because you were too close to her son......<br />
<br />
If you two talk about it you will need to find a way to reassure her that you are note trying to take over as your grandson's mother....<br />
<br />
You will need to be less involved (as long as she isn't really abusing your grandson in any way) and let her figure our her own mothering style…

Best Answer

well, what did you do to make her do that? had to be something. if you can't think of anything, it must be jealousy or fear you will do it better than her(parenting her kid) or that you are taking over and doing it for her. I think that, you should at least get her to talk on the phone to you sometimes. Keep calling her til she answers. She eventually will.<br />
Plus...wait til she needs help. Either she will come running back to you, or karma will give her the consequences.

Best Answer

Related Questions