My bf is .while asleep hes hard but to make love to me he is soft . help me understand?

You need to focus on more than just his ability to maintain his erection. He's most likely dreaming of something that arouses him sexually. Communicate and ask him what that is.

The fact that your boyfriend has erection when he is a sleep only proves that his impotency problems are not physical but mental(actually the same is with many men who have impotency problems). By the way, every man experiences erection when rem sleep stage is reached and it doesn't matter what is the dream about.

while (asleep)...everybody is totally relaxed- yet, when they are awake, they could still be prisoner to; (their upbringing). The Ancient orthodox church taught abstinence between the adjoined or "married" until the female was over her monthly "blood-moon" period"...Ill bet 50 bucks he was raised in an orthodox circle...:)

Impressive, the fact the trouser monster still can get out of hibernation after 58 yrs of life.

BF at 58, that tells you something.

Gramps comes to me, hey some, meet my gf

that's normal for every guys no matter what age.
i think it's ok for every husband to fantasize pretty faces when they're tired seeing their wife's.

one word:
viagra

That really sucks. If he can get hard in his sleep then he has passion issues he's not truely impotent.

one must understand oneself before one can understand another

jump him while he's sleeping?

engorgement of one's genitals is common during sleep: penile erections or vaginal moistening. Has nothing to do necessarily with how a person responds when they are awake. (Some sleep studies using EEG actually have a tape/band that goes around a man's penis to measure arousal during sleep stages, if any. They use electrodes.

This erection would probably happen during the deepest sleep stages: REM sleep cycles of 90 minutes..

sleep is actually complicated. I know about some of this because I sort of have narcolepsy.

Of course, when Mr. Softee is stiff, he could be dreaming of you hon. tee hee.

It's more embarrassing for the guy than you might believe...but find a qualified sexual therapist to help get to the bottom of the issue. Obviously, it's not a physical issue. There is probably something on his mind (either consciously or subconsciously) that is interfering with the process. Counseling has helped many people with this issue and their relationships improved dramatically as a result.

Get on it and ride him like a wild stallion!

Viagra.

It works.