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My boyfriend cheated on me. He does not know that I know. Should I tell him?

Someone sent me an e-mail exchange he had with one of his best friends the day after. I don't know who "helped me", but it crushed me.
From the e-mails I could tell that he called a girl to meet up for drinks, she invited him to her home and they had sex after sharing three bottles of wine. She told him that she only dates married men. So he spent the night at her place and stayed for breakfast, shower and another round of sex. The following day "her ass was all over his mind" as he was trying to focus on work. He does not know that I've read these e-mails. I will see him tomorrow (I've been out of town this week) and we'll go on holidays. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. We have been together for only two months but we've gotten closer than I could imagine. I'm not prepared to let him go, he was/is my future. He is always telling me how much he hates infidelity and that two of his exes cheated on him. I would never be able to do such a thing, but obviously he is.
Posted 3 months ago
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The obvious answer is to give him the emails and then leave him. That being said, you've explicitly stated that you are not ready to let him go. I don't know how long you've known about this betrayal but maybe you should give yourself some time to adjust to the idea. Even though you feel like you don't want to let him go, I have a suspicion you won't feel that way for long nor will you be able to keep it quiet for long. Print out the emails and have them on hand for when you're ready to confront him. I take it you haven't seen him since you found out so seeing him will make everything clear to you.
Posted 3 months ago

Other 14 Answers to My boyfriend cheated on me. He does not know that I know. Should I tell him?


Posted Aug 20th, 2009 at 2:21PM
Why are you still with him? If he did it once chances are he will do it again. Don't let him get away with **** like that or he will walk all over you. You deserve better.
Rated: +2Vote for this!  
Posted Aug 20th, 2009 at 2:21PM
Tell him you know about it, then tell him goodbye!
Rated: +2Vote for this!  
Posted Aug 20th, 2009 at 2:40PM
you should tell him you know and kick him to the curb..how do you know that this is just the first time?? its hard to let go but you deserve so much better!
Rated: +2Vote for this!  
Posted Aug 21st, 2009 at 1:43PM
ahhhh ya! of course you should confront him. Let him know that he's BUSTED!. Once a cheater always a cheater. You deserve better girl...way better!
Rated: +2Vote for this!  
Posted Aug 20th, 2009 at 5:32PM
Ok Varonica!, Serious? I went through the whole he cheated on me this was about 4 years ago? I have been with him for 9 years, not married I have 4 kids with this man! and as of this date i havent forgotten the pain he put me through to top it off i was pregnant and lost the baby he still was focused on this woman he was a coworker with her... That changed the way i felt about him i thought hey? He will never do that? oh boy did he! I am misserable!! My life is not the way i want to live it all for the bad choice i made which was stay! I confronted him i saw them both together! and i confronted her! I am sure she liked married man too! she had the history to prove it! Girl Just tell him if you have no attachments no kids and you know the best is to tell him youll see his true colors fly right out! and dump him prove you could be happy without him dont make the mistake of staying like i have made i have to put a happy face all for my three boys!~* No excuses! Be strong! You deserve to be Happy! I wish i had known this before Every night i lay next to him i close my eyes and picture them together its no fun!! Not at all! Please girl ! When you do tell him you know you have this place to come to for support!! And I never had that! Now look at me living unhappily ever after.......
Rated: +2Vote for this!  
Posted Aug 21st, 2009 at 1:45PM
Sometimes the best things to do for yourself are also the hardest. Yes you love him , yes you did not cheat . But does he love you, did he cheat on you. Was he thinking of you when hewas having sex with this women , when he was planning it, from the beginning of this affair when it started with a look , a flirt, a kiss and a little more? No he wasnt . The question isnt how much does he love you , the question is how much do you love yourself , do you think your worth finding someone who will be faithful and love only you . Or your just worth a man that has lied to you and will lie to you again .

I really hope things work out for you how ever it goes life is to short not to be loved and to love in return truly
Rated: +2Vote for this!  
Posted Aug 21st, 2009 at 1:58PM
you definitely need to confront him about it. you have solid evidence and you should not let him get away with what he did. once a cheater always a cheater and trust me, if he's did this to you then he is not your future. you deserve someone better. dump his a**!!
Rated: +2Vote for this!  
Posted Aug 21st, 2009 at 2:00PM
yes and if he cheated with the neighbor that is married let them both know
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Posted Aug 20th, 2009 at 2:43PM
yeah he gonna keep on cheating until he ready to stop.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Posted Aug 20th, 2009 at 2:50PM
Hell yeah.

You better set him straight or cut him loose, lest he think he can get away with it again.
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Posted Aug 20th, 2009 at 3:20PM
definitely tell him. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander....
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Posted Aug 20th, 2009 at 5:30PM
Do you have a plan for after you tell him?
What if he denies it? Or admits it and promises to never do it again?
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Posted Aug 20th, 2009 at 10:39PM
If they do it once,they'll do it again.Your not married to him so tell him you know and tell him...see ya!
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
Posted Aug 21st, 2009 at 10:33PM
dump his *** on the street cause ur worth more than that he's a hypocrite
Rated: +1Vote for this!  
   1-14 of 14 Answers   
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