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My boyfriend hit me

he's never done this before i don't know how to react we've been together for 3 years i don't know what came over him its my fault i shouldn't have pushed him.I'm shocked right now but he apologized.

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105 Answers to "My boyfriend hit me"

  1. onehappyman - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by onehappyman Jun 3rd, 2011 at 5:05PM

    It is not your fault. A man never hits a woman. Especially not the woman he cares about. Let me give you an example. I was married when I was 20. My then wife (now divorced) was a horrible person. She pushed every button I had and even found a few new ones. Mentally, she drove me to the edge. I got angry with her many, many times. Very angry. But I never laid a hand on her. It's called respect. While I respected her as a person and a spouse less and less as time went by, I still had a basic human respect for her as a female. This may have been the first time he hit you, but it won't be the last. He's already crossed that line and the next time it will be easier to cross. You are far too young to start living your life being afraid of upsetting him. You will never be happy like that. I have a niece just older than you and I can tell you with no hesitation that if a boyfriend ever hit her it will be the last time he ever hits anyone.

    Like (44)

  2. getdare12356416514a - 18-21 years old - male

    Reply by getdare12356416514a May 23rd, 2011 at 10:11AM

    Dude, sorry but you are a *****

    Like (1)

  3. onehappyman - 41-45 years old - male

    Reply by onehappyman May 23rd, 2011 at 10:29AM

    How so? Explain yourself.

    Like (1)

    12 more replies
  4. thehulk - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by thehulk May 25th, 2011 at 3:11AM

    I HATE 'MEN' WHO HIT WOMEN! - Those against domestic violence. Real men dont hit

    Like (14)

  5. wanderingsage - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by wanderingsage May 25th, 2011 at 1:44AM

    Leave him and tell someone

    Like (9)

  6. girlpowers - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by girlpowers May 22nd, 2011 at 8:27AM

    i was pushing him and he was in a bad mood its my fault i called my mum and she told me men do that and that i shouldn't have pushed him

    Like (1)

  7. Cosreal - 26-30 years old - female

    Reply by Cosreal May 22nd, 2011 at 9:25PM

    you're young.. you're probably not gonna listen to anyones advice here.. as I can tell .. you're already blaming yourself and making excuses for him..... you are going to learn the hard way.. like I DID ... that it just began.. if you stay.. it's gonna get worse and worse and worse from here..... until and IF... you finally get smart and decide to leave.... and that was my fiance and the father of my child... no man should EVER hit you.. for ANY reason.... I'm married to a great man now.. 4 years in July.. can't believe how abused I was until I got with someone who actually treats me right... with love... the way a man SHOULD treat a woman. :] good luck to you.

    Like (1)

    1 more reply
  8. certifiable - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by certifiable May 22nd, 2011 at 10:48PM

    It's never your fault ok , he'll only get worse and the longer you stay the more he will kill your self esteem and soul .
    Mine didn't start till around 3 years in .
    It's not love , he doesn't love you .

    Like (7)

  9. girlpowers - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by girlpowers May 22nd, 2011 at 8:46AM

    he's never done this , he loves me ,he always takes care of me i pushed him.

    Like (1)

  10. Nortong89 - 13-15 years old

    Reply by Nortong89 May 7th, 2012 at 5:18PM

    Leave her alone thats a bunch of bull!!! He dose love her and thats just how he express's it! GOT IT!!!! She's fine.

    Like (1)

  11. Kohen - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by Kohen May 28th, 2011 at 11:36AM

    men should respect women according to the word of the lord

    Like (6)

  12. morganlee - 26-30 years old

    Reply by morganlee May 23rd, 2011 at 10:29AM

    but then he would say what about forgiveness? doesn't Christ preach forgiveness too?

    Like (1)

  13. onehappyman - 41-45 years old - male

    Reply by onehappyman May 23rd, 2011 at 10:36AM

    Jesus did preach forgiveness, but that doesn't mean he wants his children to be used and abused.

    Like (1)

  14. wordperfect - 51-55 years old - male

    Posted by wordperfect May 23rd, 2011 at 3:45AM

    I believe you are correct with your assessment of why males may lash out….however, the cultures that ‘punish’ women with beatings should not be accepted in ANY way shape or form, not just in ‘our’ society. Perhaps men who beat women (or men, for that matter) should have their compulsion beaten out of them….then, they can associate the pain they inflict with the pain response they receive.

    Like (6)

  15. Tawny26 - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by Tawny26 May 23rd, 2011 at 4:08PM

    you need to leave him asap it might be just once now but it will happen again and he will say the same i dint mean to hurt u or u made me. and he will more than lkely twist it to make it feel like it is your fault for getting hurt. im telling this cuz i was hitting serveal too many times i know how the cycle works. please take my advice and leave tell ur mom tell ur friend get support. just leave No man should ever raise his hands to a wonman ever. i hope u get out soon . much love

    Like (5)

  16. girlpowers - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by girlpowers May 23rd, 2011 at 2:59AM

    He swore he would never do it again he even paid for me to get stitched up and said he was mad at himself for doing it.

    Like (1)

  17. blehtolife - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by blehtolife Sep 25th, 2012 at 12:34PM

    ...STITCHED UP? holy shitballs woman - why are you still with him?

    Like (1)

  18. burstin2go - 51-55 years old - male

    Posted by burstin2go May 22nd, 2011 at 9:19PM

    My own rule is 'the first hit is the last'.
    Pack up and walk away - he's shown you his true colours, and they're not very pleasing ones

    Like (5)

  19. Selvaria - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by Selvaria Jun 1st, 2011 at 5:35PM

    Hit him back twice as hard if he persists.

    Like (4)

  20. morganlee - 26-30 years old

    Reply by morganlee May 23rd, 2011 at 10:30AM

    I wish I were that easy. I understand girlpowers predicament. I was sitting down calmly when i got slapped three times across the face. Guys are much stronger than women. If a woman would try to retaliate, you'd just get that much more hurt.

    Like (1)

  21. MugiwaraBlair - 22-25 years old - female

    Reply by MugiwaraBlair Jan 14th, 2012 at 9:53PM

    *Ahem* The last guy who tried to hit me broke his hand on my head.

    Like (1)

  22. B3lla01 - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by B3lla01 May 22nd, 2011 at 9:32PM

    Okay then, you need to rephrase that and say "My NOW EX- BOYFRIEND hit me". My advice is walk away and don't look back. When a person resorts to physical violence, that is a clue how you guys are going to handle disagreements every time.

    Like (4)

  23. girlpowers - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by girlpowers May 22nd, 2011 at 8:28AM

    he's never done it before he snapped.i was pushing him i didn't think he was capable of doing that.we've been together for 3 years.

    Like (1)

  24. B3lla01 - 46-50 years old - female

    Reply by B3lla01 May 22nd, 2011 at 8:40AM

    Don't go blaming yourself for his hitting you. Mom pushes Dad in ways you can only imagine and he has never ever ever resorted to hitting her. The worst he has done is walk out the door to blow steam off.

    Like (1)

  25. AquariusMe - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by AquariusMe May 22nd, 2011 at 9:26PM

    Uh-oh. You're playing the role already by saying it was your fault, expect it to happen again. You can't make someone react unless they want to in the first place. If you weren't threatening his life with actual physical/mortal danger, he has no excuse. He needs to grow up and control his tantrums. Listen to everyone; you're better off without him. At least step back from the relationship and just be friends (for a long while).

    Like (4)

  26. girlpowers - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by girlpowers May 23rd, 2011 at 3:01AM

    he's never done it before , i took everyone's advice and warned him that if he touched me again , i would leave.He said he was sorry and started crying and swore to me.

    Like (1)

  27. mastadon - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by mastadon May 22nd, 2011 at 7:38PM

    Woman or wife beating is in the genes. Not all men beat women or would beat a women but there are men out there who have no control and need medical help

    Like (4)

  28. ShimmeringBlack - 36-40 years old - male

    Posted by ShimmeringBlack Jun 1st, 2011 at 4:16AM

    First off Before everyone starts going on about men shouldnt hit women blah blah blah. You know who you are tex... I dont believe he knows some of the women i know. if he hits you just for pushing his buttons he has a anger issue.and it will happen again if you provoke it..If you are fighting with him and you slap him best thing for him to do is walk it off if you dont let him walk it off and continue to push im sure he will hit you again...best thing to do is step back and ask yourself do you want this? Im sick of these doucebags that get on and say a real man dont hit women Blah Blah Blah Like by saying that puts a superman cape on him and he will scoop you up and save you from your boyfriend.There are some real ******** out there its you that has to figure out if he is one of them . And if he is You got to assure yourself that you deserve better and find it .

    Peace Shimmeringblack

    Like (3)

  29. Moonclaw - 13-15 years old - female

    Posted by Moonclaw May 28th, 2011 at 11:39AM

    Awwwwwww! Your engaged thats always fun! I mean im way too young but you know what i mean. Well... I think you should keep going out together. You both really love each other. I bet you two will have alot of fun! So i say go for him! Just watch his temper now in then to make sure what days are for play and what days are not. I hope you have a great wedding in December!!!! Remember though if he does hit you again and its not a good reason and even if its 20 years away HIT HIM BACK IN THE NOSE! Thats only if he hits you for no reason.

    Have a good wedding!

    P.S. People!!!! If you think boys are stronger than girls think again! Im in middle school and im the strogest one there. Oh look im a girl! So stop making exuses about boys being stronger than girls because its just a threat and girls think its real. But its not!! There too scared to fight back!

    Like (3)

  30. bacardi870 - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by bacardi870 May 31st, 2011 at 3:26PM

    First of all, I hope you learn and the poster learns that there is NEVER a good reason to hit someone else. No man or woman, boy or girl have a right to lay their hands on another in anger with the intention of hurting or control. I hope that many in your generation don't see that as acceptable. That would break my heart. Love isn't about punishing or controling. It's about respect and souls. And sorry to say, but in middle school...girls and boys may be similar, but when you get older and you weigh 120 lbs and you have a man that is over 200 lbs slamming down on you....it's not hype. What you need is to never put yourself in a situation where you put yourself with a man who would even consider hitting a woman. NOT EVEN ONCE. Just as he should expect you to never hit him even once. This gets so much more true, when you have little children who are watching and learning. Life changes as life stages change. As far as the wedding...I think I'd wait a bit, until trust could be earned again, if at all. Weddings are just weddings...what's cool are marriages that make you feel all safe, loved and warm. Blessed Be!

    Like (1)

  31. lostbutfinding - 51-55 years old - male

    Posted by lostbutfinding May 22nd, 2011 at 7:37PM

    It's time for you to move on. Finding reasons that it's your own fault is common. In the end, he hit you. Time for you to move on to someone who won't. There's no middle ground.

    Like (3)

  32. SoftCoreBoy - 26-30 years old - male

    Posted by SoftCoreBoy May 22nd, 2011 at 8:48AM

    He will be in control of your mind if you take the blame for what he did to you. I believe that you can get another boyfriend within 24 hours.

    Like (3)

  33. girlpowers - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by girlpowers May 22nd, 2011 at 8:48AM

    ive bee with him for 3 years i really love him and we are engaged supposed to get married in December.

    Like (1)

  34. LadyIndiscretion - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by LadyIndiscretion Nov 17th, 2012 at 1:37PM

    Noooo. Don't marry him. If you're not going to leave him right now then at least push the wedding back a year. When did he hit you? If he hit you so hard that you had to be stitched up then you should leave him, there is never any excuse for that unless you were in the process of murdering him and he couldnt escape. Leave him. My husband hit me one time and I left him. I didn't wait for him to do it again. We've been separated a year. We may get back together but only because he's gotten help for his issues and I've seen a change, if he does it again then I'm gone.

    Like (1)

  35. DAW2012 - 51-55 years old - male

    Posted by DAW2012 Nov 6th, 2011 at 1:26AM

    so you had to go to the hospital what did they say they most of ask what happen? so I guess you lied to them.You should have told us every thing from the beginning now that I reed all the remarkes and your answers It looks like you got your wait up call and did nothing about it.How old are you? Has this happened before with someone else.What would you tell your girlfriend if she told you she was hit? I think you need a good spanking and I mean a spanking(not a beating) for lying to the doctorswhat did you tell them and what have you done about it. you should find someone to talk to this is not the place because you will go nuts with all the answers. you need to go away or even go home for awhile and talk to your parents and think about it. I am sorry i was harsh with you but what I see is that you are blaming yourself not the right person and he is thinking he got away with it.

    Like (2)

  36. Deepressed - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by Deepressed May 28th, 2011 at 11:39AM

    I fully agree with Alittlehappier's answer. I also have an ex that pushed every button she could find, she cheated, lied goaded me, but I never crossed that line. It wasn't until after we split up that i realized that she had been beaten when growing up. Somehow she associated being abused in that way with love.
    From your question, i don't think that is your case. Please for your own sake leave him and never look back. Once it has happened, it will happen again and with increasing frequency. nobody should live like that. You think it was your fault? perhaps you made him mad but there is NO excuse for physical, mental or verbal abuse. Certainly there will be disagreements (fights) but if they degrade to that level then it is way too dangerous to stay together. Again get out NOW!!! Please!
    If not for yourself, what if you have a kid together? is that the right environment for a child to be in?
    You deserve and will have better.

    Like (2)

  37. Surie - 18-21 years old - male

    Posted by Surie May 24th, 2011 at 7:10PM

    Sorry, i have to be honest after this event your relationship will never be the same again. Its time to move on, better now than after getting married and getting kids. Right?

    Like (2)

  38. boneca33 - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by boneca33 May 25th, 2011 at 4:21PM

    Bateu como??? Seja mais clara!!!!

    Like (1)

  39. getdare12356416514a - 18-21 years old - male

    Posted by getdare12356416514a May 23rd, 2011 at 10:15AM

    You shouldn't ask questions like this on the internet. He never did it before and he apologized. I don't think he'll do it again.

    By the way, I don't say its ok to hit a woman but when you are angry you may do thinks you normally don't do. It happened once and I'm sure it won't happen again.

    Like (2)

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