boyfriend says he wants to work on it.. and you want to end it??

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its quite clear he isn't happy... not like he hasnt mentioned this before. i just dont think its possible to bring spark back into a relationship. maybe it just isnt meant to be you know?

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If he is saying he wants to work on it.. I am gathering he means it. Question is.. can you want to as well?

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of course i do, but how can you 'start over' and rekindle a spark that was once there 2 years ago....

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Simple things. Make a peanut rose ( it got me free beer all night lol)

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ya but can you do enough simple things to make it the spark be ignited again forever?

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Future can't be controlled... many have tried. He said something to you that in your mind.. made you trip and fall. The moment is yours for the taking... Sounds like he wants to be in the same moment. Have some deep talks.. and get out and have fun :D

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we just finished talking... and he basically said it bothers him that he sees potential in me but i just dont take the initiative. that i'm not confident, i'm not assertive. that he wants to be dating a "smokeshow" not a "cinderella"... and he feels that if we were to break up, only then would i get incentive to be my best. just to stick it to him. he said i should want and aim to be my best for him and when i am with him.

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ARE you confident in yourself?. Not sure what you mean by a smokeshow/Cinderellla. Want and aim .. could be understood as many things. One talk will not make things perfectly clear. Sounds like you are on the right track though :D

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im not confident myself at all. waht he meant with that smokeshow/cinderella scenario is that he doesnt want a "nice, quiet, shy, good girl" he waants a girl thats confident assertive, hot, sexy, and is a great catch... not some quiet timid girl

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Do you want to have your voice heard.. or placed in the shadows of others

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i want it to be heard, but people are telling me just to break up with him! i feel like i'll never be good enough for what it is that hes looking for. i'l never be that "smokeshow" girlfriend. i'll constantly (and still do now) compare myself to other girls that i feel are more fitting to his "type". why doesnt he just break up with me then!

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Sounds like a few serious sit down chats will be happening with you two in the next couple weeks

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yes you can fix it,show him you love him more and try not to complain to much men hate hearing it

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Well, if you aren't sure, you might as well end it. If you have to ask total strangers if your relationship is worth the effort; it isn't worth it.

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I have been married twice and been in a few long term relationships and had to adjust to many changes in a partner. One of the things that has come up so many times relating to my dissatisfaction with the relationship is to be able to talk about the real core of my dissatisfaction. If he is dissatisfied with you and if you ever really want to know what it is, then I'm afraid you might have to be willing to hear thing you don't want to hear. It's not that I didn't have the guts to say exactly what it was when I knew what it was that was wrong between us. It was that I knew I would be bringing up a very sensitive area of our contention. <br />
I think if you are really ready to "work on it" then I have to ask, are you ready for questions that may be about your appearance, and other sensitive issues? Because with guys, I'm sorry to say, is usually what it's about. <br />
You want to see spark? Take him to a ***** club and have the girls give you a lap dance. Or not.

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in my honest opinion it is VERY hard to bring spark into a relationship once it has been lost!!! it will take alot of effort! how long have you been together!!! and you need to start something new! something you can both relate to need to get out of the routine you have now! i dont know you both like dancing? sign up and learn a new dance together? you like cooking? join a cooking class togerher something you both can relate to and yes it needs to be both sided when it comes to sex you need to initate it as well or it will feel one sided and that is where a relationship starts to go down. i hope this helps and i hope you can rebuild your relationship!!

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Is it worth fixing?

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We've lost the spark? As in I gave it to you and you lost it by complaining and going static in the bedroom.<br />
We =us We are working together to carry this box up hill.Now what about your side? Are you a spark killer?<br />
How has this gone for you?Were you surprised to find out the spark was gone or did you feel it? Is he worth pointing out selfishness could be his damp little spark killer

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Stop complaining. Initiate sex. If you don't want sex with him then end it.

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what would miss monroe do? ;]

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