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my boyfriend distanced himself from a few days ago so i thought he had issues with me. but then when we fought earlier, he told me why he was acting that way. he has cancer. doesn't have much time to live. two months at most. he knew about it for a while and kept it from me because he was scared. i am so devastated and i don't know what to do. i am not mad at him, i'm scared. he's my first boyfriend i hoped he was my last. i love him so much. i don't know how to deal with this. they said there isn't any more hope but i'm not giving up on him. on anything. we live miles away from each other. he can't ride on airplanes anymore and i have school and i'm broke so i can't go to him. help me, please. i'm so restless right now and i don't know what to do. i can't even be there for him. he doesn't want anyone to see him sick and suffering. he wanted me to forget him and move on but i can't. we both know i can't. thank you
chocoxx chocoxx 18-21 8 Answers Jan 10, 2013 in Dating & Relationships

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I know it's very hard for you honey but you have to carry on as normal, especialy with yor boyfriend. He knows what he has and how it's going to affect his life and he's had to deal with that personally first but the last thing he'll want is everyone keep reminding him that he's dying or telling him how upset everyone is. <br />
Keep the chat happy and positive, talk about your day and your life and even reshare happy moments you've spent together. Crying and grieving before he is gone will only make him feel worse himself and make his last days very depressing. <br />
Ask about his life, his family and his childhood and what his views and dreams have been up til now. When he finally departs you will lose him physically, but at least you can feel happier knowing you knew him as best as you possibly could.

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it's so sudden so that made me feel even worse but i promised myself to make him happy and not make him feel like he's sick or anything. i'm just really scared. i can't be without him. thank you very much. a decent comment, finally :)

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Losing someone close is always very hard and at your age I doubt you've had much experience with bereavement so I'm not denying it is going to be very hard on you. I lost my brother to cancer some years ago now but I've never believed he is totally gone from my life and he is still very much alive in my memory even today. You can have that same reassurance too and the better you know each other now the more comforting that feeling is after. :)

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i'm 20, so yes, young. it's just that i've always thought he's the one for me. i wasn't looking for anyone when he came around. then everything was perfect. it's too good to be true, i suppose. but i'd never forget him, ever. thank you very much, i still have his family to talk to. his cousin promised to keep in touch with me. thank you :)

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I'm so sorry... Maybe talk on skype?

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Accept it as soon as you can so you can be normal (or close to normal) with him during the last weeks of His life.

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love him till his last breathe....tell him to spend his remaining days with you....

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There were no signs of illness that u could see

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there were. he got sick a couple of times then he fainted weeks ago. i think it relapsed

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U are lying

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sure, if you think so

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What kind of cancer does he have?

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liver, i think. he didn't tell me. but he complained about it weeks ago

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There are many things that can be wrong with the liver. Is it an auto-immune disease? Livers can be transplanted, and even if he doesn't have insurance they will take him and cover the expense. He could outlive a cancer of the liver.

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i'm scared to ask him. but from what i know, he used to drink a lot years ago so he probably got it from that. but he stopped. he's pretty well off so he doesn't have a problem with the expenses. his parents did everything they could. but thank you, that made me feel a tad better

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U are lying cause he would tell u what kind of cancer he has

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i get your point. fine. go away if you don't have something nice to say

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I don't think she's lying about what kind of cancer. But I don't understand why you wouldent want more information about it. My hubby is a microbiologist and cures cancer for a living-if its liver and not auto-immune he will live.

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i do want all the info i could get. i'm scared to ask him or his cousin because my boyfriend's quite the sensitive and emotional type. omg really he does? i'll ask my boyfriend when we get to talk later and i'll get back to you. i'm not gonna bother you but i might be asking stuff. if that's fine with you? i'm really desperate right now

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Seriously you can ask me anything.. I know quite a bit, and what I don't know I do know the people to ask. Knowledge is power, ask questions. Having him open up and talk about it is best for the both of you. If the cancer is not liver, maybe the pancreas, it's a lot less worry. You can live without the pancreas. Anyways, good luck!

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thank you very much! you have no idea how much this means to me. i'll send you a message. thanks, again

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