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My boyfriend just told me he has cancer and is dying. how do i deal with it?

my boyfriend distanced himself from a few days ago so i thought he had issues with me. but then when we fought earlier, he told me why he was acting that way. he has cancer. doesn't have much time to live. two months at most. he knew about it for a while and kept it from me because he was scared. i am so devastated and i don't know what to do. i am not mad at him, i'm scared. he's my first boyfriend i hoped he was my last. i love him so much. i don't know how to deal with this. they said there isn't any more hope but i'm not giving up on him. on anything. we live miles away from each other. he can't ride on airplanes anymore and i have school and i'm broke so i can't go to him. help me, please. i'm so restless right now and i don't know what to do. i can't even be there for him. he doesn't want anyone to see him sick and suffering. he wanted me to forget him and move on but i can't. we both know i can't. thank you

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6 Answers to "My boyfriend just told me he has cancer and is dying. how do i deal with it?"

  1. MisterGrey - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by MisterGrey Jan 10th, 2013 at 4:36AM

    I know it's very hard for you honey but you have to carry on as normal, especialy with yor boyfriend. He knows what he has and how it's going to affect his life and he's had to deal with that personally first but the last thing he'll want is everyone keep reminding him that he's dying or telling him how upset everyone is.
    Keep the chat happy and positive, talk about your day and your life and even reshare happy moments you've spent together. Crying and grieving before he is gone will only make him feel worse himself and make his last days very depressing.
    Ask about his life, his family and his childhood and what his views and dreams have been up til now. When he finally departs you will lose him physically, but at least you can feel happier knowing you knew him as best as you possibly could.

    Like (2)

  2. chocoxx - 18-21 years old

    Reply by chocoxx Jan 10th, 2013 at 4:39AM

    it's so sudden so that made me feel even worse but i promised myself to make him happy and not make him feel like he's sick or anything. i'm just really scared. i can't be without him. thank you very much. a decent comment, finally :)

    Like (1)

  3. MisterGrey - 46-50 years old - male

    Reply by MisterGrey Jan 10th, 2013 at 4:48AM

    Losing someone close is always very hard and at your age I doubt you've had much experience with bereavement so I'm not denying it is going to be very hard on you. I lost my brother to cancer some years ago now but I've never believed he is totally gone from my life and he is still very much alive in my memory even today. You can have that same reassurance too and the better you know each other now the more comforting that feeling is after. :)

    Like (1)

    1 more reply
  4. chimbie88 - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by chimbie88 Jan 10th, 2013 at 4:27AM

    I'm so sorry... Maybe talk on skype?

    Like (2)

  5. Adstars - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by Adstars Jan 10th, 2013 at 4:26AM

    Accept it as soon as you can so you can be normal (or close to normal) with him during the last weeks of His life.

    Like (2)

  6. Ladyapplegarth - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by Ladyapplegarth Jan 10th, 2013 at 4:26AM

    love him till his last breathe....tell him to spend his remaining days with you....

    Like (2)

  7. IMAGINATIONATWORK - 36-40 years old

    Posted by IMAGINATIONATWORK Jan 10th, 2013 at 4:26AM

    There were no signs of illness that u could see

    Like (1)

  8. chocoxx - 18-21 years old

    Reply by chocoxx Jan 10th, 2013 at 4:28AM

    there were. he got sick a couple of times then he fainted weeks ago. i think it relapsed

    Like (1)

  9. IMAGINATIONATWORK - 36-40 years old

    Reply by IMAGINATIONATWORK Jan 10th, 2013 at 4:29AM

    U are lying

    Like (1)

    1 more reply
  10. Galaxy2 - 22-25 years old - female

    Posted by Galaxy2 Jan 10th, 2013 at 4:25AM

    What kind of cancer does he have?

    Like (1)

  11. chocoxx - 18-21 years old

    Reply by chocoxx Jan 10th, 2013 at 4:26AM

    liver, i think. he didn't tell me. but he complained about it weeks ago

    Like (1)

  12. Galaxy2 - 22-25 years old - female

    Reply by Galaxy2 Jan 10th, 2013 at 4:30AM

    There are many things that can be wrong with the liver. Is it an auto-immune disease? Livers can be transplanted, and even if he doesn't have insurance they will take him and cover the expense. He could outlive a cancer of the liver.

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